Not really AIBU, more - how would you handle this?

[HotSummerLoving]

I have a 10 yr old DD who is v. Emotional / constant drama.

I am a single Mum to two kids, work full time in a professional role, own my own house & get minimal maintenance.

My DD has the box room in my 3 bed semi, I have worked incredibly hard to decorate it to her liking, bought a v. Expensive high sleeper (wish I hadn’t bothered) as she wanted a bunk bed.

she decided the bed was “too high” so I’ve set out the futon underneath for her to sleep on (before we move in the next few months & can decide on more permanent arrangement).

She has now decided her bedroom is too small & has taken to sleeping on the sofa downstairs every night.

I am infuriated by her lack of appreciation for having her own bedroom & all the lovely things in it. Want to go nuclear at her but know that’s not the solution.

Is the room much smaller than the one that your other child has? Is this really about perceived unfairness?

Don’t know, potentially but my other child is 15 & about to start final GCSE year so needs a large desk etc.

Cut high sleeper down
is room too hot as so small?

Make it harder for her to sleep downstairs or put your foot down and tell her no. Once she has friends round she’ll never be out of bedroom

Do you have three bedrooms and a box room, or is the box room one of the bedrooms? What does it have in the way of windows? I her room much smaller than your other child' room?

I have to say I had a box room as my room for a while, the only window was a small one right at the top of the wall which gave very little light and I found the room very claustrophobic.

i imagine at the moment if her room is small, she may be finding it very hot and hard to sleep - if that i the case I don;t see any problem with her sleeping on the sofa.

why did you buy a high sleeper if she wanted a bunk bed ?

Why do you let her sleep downstairs every night?

She is 10.

Sell the high sleeper and get a basic normal single bed. Futons aren't always comfortable in fairness, and bunk beds not for everyone.

Is she a high need child? Any sensory/sensitivity issues?

Ignore her and she will get over it. Sto trying to please her, I am sure you have enough on your plate.

How does the sleeping downstairs happen? Does she put herself to bed on the sofa? (If so, easy to stop that) or does she go downstairs in the middle of the night (if so, there’s something else going on - futon uncomfortable, room too hot etc.)

Oops - I misundertood the bit about the bunk bed - I thought it was different from a high sleeper. Ignore.

Like a previous poster, I suspect it is about perceived unfairness.

If you are moving soon and she will get a similar sized room to her sibling then it won't be for long so try not to stress.

I would tell her to go to bed. Her room being small has no impact on where she sleeps. A bed is a bed. Put her in it.

What will the room situation be when you move, and how far away is that happening?

“Okay darling”

She wants the attention. Don’t give it.

This.
She is 10.

OTOH,

I am infuriated by her lack of appreciation for having her own bedroom & all the lovely things in it.

I wouldn't expect a child to "appreciate having her own bedroom and all the lovely things in it". From a child's pov, that is just 'normal'.

I agree with selling the high sleeper. It could be making the room feel too overcowded and cramped. Having that plus a futon in the room must be awful.

Enough of that shit. Tell her that until she starts paying board and bills she doesn’t have a say. The lounge room is yours in the evening not hers. She can GTF.
*Why are you letting a ten year old dictate to you like that?

Even if it is, she still has to put up with it. I had a tiny box room with a cabin bed when I was a child. It was smaller than than my siblings’ rooms because I was the youngest and they as teenagers needed space for school work, having mates over, etc. Yes, I’m sure there were times when I felt it was unfair but if I’d said that the cabin bed I’d asked for was ‘too high’ or flounced off to sleep on the sofa, I’m pretty sure my parents would have just told me to stop behaving like a spoilt toddler.