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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To as if other children strongly dislike cadets?

53 replies

MumEeeee · 13/08/2022 13:40

DS wanted to join air cadets, quite hard to get into but we got a place.

All the reviews are amazing, everyone raves about it but DS, despite loving sports/ scouts and being super enthusiastic to start has gone off it pretty fast.

Just wondering if it’s that unusual? Drill he found dull and awkward, the memorising drill and stuff mainly too (loved some history, but not stuff like memorising the drill book). He felt the trade off of occasional camps and stuff in the future was amazing, but he couldn’t do all the other stuff to get to them two nights a week. They also run until really late, cleaning up starting about 9:35 so it’s hard to collect them. Other teens were really really nice kids, but again he felt the rest would be dull.

Would you encourage to stick at it a little? Or just stop. Tbh, inside I know I’d not be keen on drill

OP posts:
CiderWithLizzie · 13/08/2022 16:00

I went to Sea Cadets back in the 80s and loved it! We did do a bit of drill but mainly it was sailing, rowing and going on camps. I also spent a week on the TS Royalist which was a tall ship/square rigger. We were provided with uniform that we didn’t pay for.

Lucy1971 · 13/08/2022 16:02

My DD is 13 and has been going to Air Cadets since May. She's had drill and history of flight etc but loads of fun stuff as well so far. She's just signed up for D of E and completed her bronze expedition with them last week. They have regular sports evenings, film nights, a flight simulator at the squadron among other things. There's no cost for the uniform apart from the black shoes. As a previous poster said, maybe a transfer to another unit might be an option.

Original poster
MumEeeee · 13/08/2022 16:07

The main blue uniform is free, but they ask for £100 for the shoes and green uniform as a set. Right now it’s a big hit!

OP posts:
PonyPatter44 · 13/08/2022 16:11

There are no uniform costs for air cadets (except boots). What are they asking you to pay for?

My DD has been in air cadets for nearly 7 years, and is just about to age out. She's planning to stay on as a civilian instructor. She's done flying, shooting, first aid, lots of leadership courses and camps, band....I dont know, I lost track. She goes to residential camp about 3 times a year, and she's competed in national drill and first aid competitions. She absolutely loves it and its taught her so many life skills.

Cadets isn't ideal for all kids, and all squadrons are different in focus. Some do a lot of shooting, some do a lot of band, some do a lot of first aid. Air cadets are definitely the more "nerdy" kids because they all want to be RAF pilots, or engineers. Your DS might find a different squadron suits him better, or perhaps he'd prefer Army Cadets. Cadet training is good fun for the kids that enjoy it it, regardless of service.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 13/08/2022 16:15

Maybe look for a Venture Scouts group instead if he likes the idea of camps and stuff but not the military stuff.

TheTempest · 13/08/2022 16:16

Blimey that’s a lot! I did army cadets 12-18 and then went on to be an adult leader 18-22 when I had my DD. I absolutely loved it, i made so many friends and had some amazing experiences and I still miss it now. However my DD is now 12 and wouldn’t join at all, so guess it depends on the person as well as the detachment. I’d encourage them to give it a bit longer but really if they hate it and it’s supposed to be a fun additional activity then what’s the point?!

Janesmom · 13/08/2022 16:16

My nephew raves about air cadets but I think he’s been lucky in that his unit gets lots of flying time and he’s now been able to fly solo through them. However, he willingly admits it’s not for everyone. Lots of drill and military ethos, so discipline is important.

Original poster
MumEeeee · 13/08/2022 16:17

@SoSoSusan yes, sounds very very similar on activities.

One was a 2.5 hr history lesson (though my son as well as being sporty is a bookish geek so he liked that). Others went a bit too far on the sit down learning. In 4-5 weeks it has been mainly being talked at, 2hrs+ of sitting and listening. They did one archery hour, which he normally loves, but he was too intimidated to ask for a left hand bow so even that went a bit wrong.

I also found it a little weird one evening when I collected him. He had a cleaning cloth out and was wiping down reception. Totally support him cleaning alongside everyone for a nice environment, but he was the only one with a cloth and there was light banter and he wasn’t totally in on it? Nothing huge, but just a vibe that was off that I can’t explain. Maybe a rink think? But also intimidating for a child’s new activity. He really doesn’t need keeping inline, though he’s sporty he’s a quiet geeky boy in general. Friends, but not a gregarious one at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
MumEeeee · 13/08/2022 16:18

@PonyPatter44 ds only looked it up as he dreamed of being a pilot, he is nerdy… but needs have limits…?

Its £100 for greens and shoes I believe. The blue uniform is free.

OP posts:
SoSoSusan · 13/08/2022 16:28

@MumEeeee he sounds similar to my boys. They're sporty but also academic and techy, very well behaved and my eldest especially is a lover of 'rules' for want of a better word. Always sensible, likes to follow instructions and manuals etc.

I thought it would be a really good fit for them, a mix of academic, discipline and sporty active stuff - but it's a shame there's not enough of the active things so far and the learning aspects just aren't peaking their interest at all.

moggerhanger · 13/08/2022 16:34

If he liked Scouts then I'd definitely look into Explorers for him, like someone upthread suggested. www.scouts.org.uk/explorers

PonyPatter44 · 13/08/2022 16:36

Just asked my DD about the cost and she's horrified- yes you have to pay for boots and there is a nominal charge for greens now, but nothing like £100. She said that's an exclusionary charge (yes, she actually said that...) and if your lad DOES want to stay, have a word with the CivCom, because this is exactly what they have Discretionary funds for.

Erictheavocado · 13/08/2022 16:40

That's a shame OP. I don't know about air cadets but know a little about sea cadets as two family members joined and absolutely loved it. There is drill and learning, but there are also a lot of water based activities as well. One of my family members gained a Btech via sea cadets (sea cadets funded it) and has just completed 11 years in the Royal Navy. The other also gained some qualifications through sea cadets and is now on the district staff. He says that every unit has a different feel, so might be worth your ds looking at a different unit if there is one near you? Neither of the young men I know had to pay a penny for any uniform or activities, other than a weekly contribution to unit funds if parents could afford it. One was also funded for an exchange trip to Scandinavia and the other was funded for a 10 day trip to Japan!

Jeeves93 · 16/08/2022 19:35

Cadets isn't for everyone. Perhaps try a different cadets like Army Cadets? They also do drill, but less of it than Air Cadets who do loads of drill competitions etc. Army cadets is more "field" based. To my knowledge, no one is required to memorise the drill manual, unless you really want to be a drill instructor. You just have to remember what to do on command, and it isn't difficult.

Also, uniform is free, so not sure why people are saying it is expensive? Footwear is the only thing not provided.

Singleandproud · 16/08/2022 19:42

We used to do a lot of drill in the summer because we had a big intersquadron drill comp at the end of it. You also have to be able to do drill as you have to use it when at RAF bases when moving around the base, very embarrassing if you were with different sqns and you don't know what to do.

When I was there all of the book work went toward a Btec in Aviation studies so isn't pointless. You have to learn the basics first though but that builds up to things like getting private pilots licenses for gliders, flying small aircraft, firing rifles etc.

Uniform was all free when I was there with the exception of boots and shoes not sure if that's changed.

readsalotgirl63 · 16/08/2022 19:53

dd was in army cadets and really enjoyed it - yes there was drill but they did other activities including weekend camps and evenings at the rifle range. Only thing we paid for were boots.

Original poster
MumEeeee · 16/08/2022 20:00

I think I’ve just had to accept it’s a good activity but not for him.

The squadron I think has a specific uniform bundle arranged.

Before any other cadets maybe he also needs to mature a bit. Or maybe he didn’t gel in the group too.

OP posts:
DinosApple · 16/08/2022 20:07

My eldest (13) seems to enjoy it. Two nights a week but there have been no sessions over the holidays due to a lack of leaders.

I think there was a deposit for her uniform which I then had to take up by 10(!) inches. I bought cadet boots and shiny parade shoes, plus something to get her hair in a bun.

She's done a couple of camps, which are cheap enough, and she's apparently enjoyed. Met some girls who she'd not normally hang out with. Met some boys she think are ok.

I don't know how long she'll keep it up though.

Blacknailvarnish · 24/08/2022 15:32

My Dd is a sea cadet and loves it. It sounds a lot more relaxed than air cadets. She spends most of her time messing around in the water or going on camps. Might be worth having a look at other cadets.

EvilEdna1 · 24/08/2022 15:39

My older DS fell out of love with air cadets due to the late teen and early 20s leaders throwing their weight around. He also found it repetitive. My younger DS loves police cadets though and it's completely free (only recommended if they already fancy policing as a career though as it's a complete sales job for being a police officer!).

Dotjones · 24/08/2022 15:42

Like anything it depends on the quality of the person running the activity. My ex had been in the RAF cadets for a couple of months when a teenager but had to get out, it sounded pretty harrowing to be honest. The adults were OK but the senior cadets were basically just bullies whenever they got the opportunity.

Alittlenonsensenowandthen · 24/08/2022 15:51

I've got the opposite problem. My boy loves it but I hate it! No costs here - we were supplied with everything except shoes. I detest the rigid hierarchy and how much it's like joining the forces but in junior form. Taken all very seriously and a huge commitment weekly. I also feel like as a family we are not an 'army family' so we don't understand etiquettes and expectations.

However the plus points (he's keen to look at being a royal engineer), are that it far outweighs our scouts in opportunities and qualifications. Our local one is highly recommended though.

Climbingthelaundrymountain · 24/08/2022 15:54

My son did it for 6 months but also hated drill. He loved fieldcraft and whatever they call it when they hide in fields and stuff like that. Also didn't get home till gone 10pm.

He said today he misses it now but with him doing football 4 times a week and going into GCSEs I don't think it's sensible to go back to it.

Climbingthelaundrymountain · 24/08/2022 15:55

It was army cadets btw.

Chardonnay73 · 24/08/2022 15:59

Ds1 did Army Cadets and Ds2 did Air Cadets. They both hated it and begged to leave. Plus the to-ing and fro-ing. Was meant to finish at 9.30 twice a week, would regularly come out at 10pm which I think is just too late for a school night. Was happy to let them give it up for a variety of reasons!