How the hell does he sleep through it?

[MolliciousIntent]

We went to bed at 10 and DH conked out immediately. Since then, I've spent an hour and a half or more in and out with one or other of our DDs. Toddler is too hot, needs water, doesn't have a favourite toy, had a bad dream about a fox, etc. Baby is a baby, needs fed, rolled over and got her arm stuck, etc. Every time I get back into bed and drift off, someone cries for me.

DH has slept through all of it. Not even a slight change in his breathing. Fast asleep. Fucking how!? I wake up if one of the girls so much as coughs!

Before there's a pile on, I'll wake him myself if I need help and he'll get straight up. I just don't get how he sleeps through the crying. It's like a blooming alarm by my ear!

Because he subconsciously knows you will wake up and do it. I find when my partner is home when ours was a newborn he used to do most of the nighttime stuff I could usually sleep straight through as my brain new he was taking care of it. If he was on a night shift I'd wake up no problem

I agree beciase he knows you will do it. I’m the same if my
mummsleeps over and says she will do dc.

I found the same. When he was home and "his turn" I mentally blocked out the sound. I think because of his shifts it was 12/48 weeks were his.

I worked full time. No idea how I did it.

Yep, remember when you were a kid and you slept soundly because your mum and dad were taking care of everything?

That's why he can sleep soundly because you're doing it all.

I don't do it all though! We take it in turns! He just doesn't ever wake up until I physically shake him.

I don't think it is just because he thinks you will do it all. I had an ex like this, except even without a baby, he was the same. I would shake him and talk to him and he would respond and then go back to sleep and not remember a thing. Sleeps through alarms he sets on his mobile - often the alarm would wake me up and I'd have to wake him up to tell him his alarm was going off!

I think there probably is an element of "Oh MolliciousIntentis in charge so I can switch off and she will wake me if she really needs me"

But I also have a DH who can sleep through loads of stuff (not just child related) he has always been like that. I remember when we had a dodgy smoke alarm that would go off for no reason at all. It once went off in the middle of the night and he sat up in bed, apparently awake, but gibbering unhelpfully. I leapt out of bed, ran round the house to check everything was OK, disabled the alarm, calmed infant DD who had been woken up and got her back to sleep and when I went back to bed he was sleeping soundly. Next morning I was a bit crisp with him along the lines of "Well thank you for being so much help in the night, I don't think." He was genuinely baffled and had no memory of the incident at all.

I have a 8week old and apparently my DH sleeps so well at night because work is so tiring ! Getting up at 6.30 after 8 hours unbroken sleep and working in an office?! I’m actually going to suggest he mentions to his GP at an appointment he has coming up for something else - the minute we sit down on the sofa at about 9.45pm to watch an hour or so of tv he literally falls asleep like he has been tranq darted. Snoring and everything! Dd is asleep in her rocker and it’s just me! I have a glass of wine and watch an episode of something I like! Then around 11.15 I have a big job waking him he’s like completely comatose. He manages to make it up the stairs - can’t carry dd up because he’s ‘too tired’. He literally lies on the bed in the dark on top on anything that’s on there - clothes, random books etc, and falls straight back to sleep. I don’t think it’s normal it’s like every day he is literally exhausted but looking at this thread maybe it is. I take 20 mins to fall asleep and am then up bf’ing dd in the night and don’t feel this tired?!

@Blueeyedgirl21 he should defo see the GP

DH isn't working at the moment, but this is the same either way!

Our toddler still sometimes insists on sleeping with us. She will often toss and turn and kick about. I have seen her kick my husband in the head and he didn’t wake. Genuinely baffled by this.

I can sleep through most things too - was different when l had baby though!

Some people are just genuinely heavy sleepers. My mother used to worry about me growing because I could literally sleep anything and anywhere. I grew up in an area with a lot of intense hurricanes and weather disasters. Rain and wind nearly shattering windows and nope… I would be passed out. My mother would come wake me up to make sure I was alert just in case we had to evacuate.

I just recently was on a safari in Africa and towards the end of it I was bored and fell asleep in the extremely jostling and bouncing Land Rover going over very rocky terrain. My husband and friends were like, “HOW DID YOU FALL ASLEEP IN THIS?” Even my husband was shocked and knows my habit of being able to fall asleep anywhere at anytime.

I was tired! 🤷‍♀️ 😂

Omg I'm married to your ex!!

DP sleeps through it all when we share a bed and the monitor is in our room. If I sleep downstairs (no spare room) and leave the monitor with him, he wakes up.

Similar to @CloudCatz ’s ex, I can sleep through multiple alarms.

My DH sleeps through all DC noise too... if I want help I have to wake him! He often wakes up and says "baby slept well didn't he?" I'm like err... no that was you!

My DH sleeps extremely heavily. He can so have a conversation with me, go back to sleep and remember nothing.
He sleeps through our two year old daughter kicking him and resting her feet on his face.
He gets a shake or a shove depending on how charitable I'm feeling when he needs to attend to either child.
Our 4 year old is starting to take after him - I can be in and out of his bedroom with the landing light on putting the washing away or tidying up and he'd have no clue.

Dh used to be the same. I remember one time putting dd2's screaming mouth next to his ear and he didn't even flinch.
Once he's asleep he sleeps through almost anything. His alarm has been known to wake the entire house except himself.

I was told that breastfeeding means you wake easier, and it was certainly true for me. Before I had children I'd sleep through almost anything too.

What I did find was the times I needed Dh to be awake, like if one of them had thrown up everywhere, then a jab in the ribs woke him and he'd always get up straight away-and normally deal with the sick which was very helpful.

Some people really can just sleep though anything and everything. It's like their ears switch off.

Nah, mone sleeps through everything. He'd probably sleep through the fire alarm as well. Infuriating as hell.

Hormones definitely play a part, we're just unfortunately more tuned to hear them! My OH is the same - I was in hospital and separated from 6 week old baby for two weeks. He did amazingly but I was very worried!!

Pah that's nothing, my DH can't hear our DC nearly killing each other from his office next to their playroom
Full on tantrums, screaming and throwing stuff and he's fully conscious
I'm going to adopt his style of parenting for a bit, let's see where that gets us