To think I can start again at 41

[Lordylord1]

….
iv let go of a lot of shitty friendships
trying To make others

am I insane to think I can start again friendships and relationship wise ?

100%. You've got years ahead of you. In my early 50s very few of my friends nor my partner were in my life in my 30s.

One thing I realised is your 30s is a huge time of change between children, jobs, moving house etc and many of your friendships just start to drift apart as people have different life circumstances/ambitions etc.

Of course you can. I think it takes a bit more work becsuse you are meeting fewer new people than average when you are older rather than when you were at school or university or flatting. Join things (churches for instance seem to welcome new members for a cup of tea afterwards) and you don't have to be super devout), be interested and upbeat.

I am currently struggling with a long term friendship. The person hasn’t done anything terrible or really dreadful. She married a very tedious man and has
changed a lot over the last few years. It’s like she has sort of assimilated in to being a part of him. She has changed so much it sad to see.

I feel I’m so different to who I was before

Yes of course - I’m 58 and still making new friends!