Sorry for the long post and any grammar errors.
My husband (30m) and I (29f) have been married for about three years and together for four. His mother has been in the middle of our relationship the while time. Recently (since I get pregnant) she has gotten worse and has said some things to me that are rude and disrespectful. I have told her multiple times to stay out of our relationship and told him I don't want her in the middle of it. He will agree originally but keeps telling her different things about us. He says it's venting but what he's complaining about me while never telling me anything is wrong.
He says she's just being supportive and trying to help but I don't see it that way. He and I can come up with a solution to a argument that works for us but she decides she doesn't like it and says to do something else and he follows what she says. She keeps telling him I have so many problems that I need to work on but can't say what any of that is. While I know I do have some things I could work on having basic boundaries and wanting respect isn't one. At the same time she will tell me he should work on himself and tell him he has nothing wrong and everything is my fault.
He and I had a major blow up recently because I again told him and her I don't want her in the middle of our relationship. It came to the point I was very seriously looking at a divorce. She sent a message to me saying I should reconsider because at that point I would be a single mom of three and two different baby dads. Her logic is that he's not physically abusive so I should just deal with it. He doesn't cook, rarely cleans and only when I yell about it, barely does things with the kids other than play video games. He works from 9-5 while I'm home all day with the kids, pets, and doing all the cleaning and cooking. He comes home and plays on his phone or on video games.
We both agreed to go to counseling individually to work on us, he also agreed to stop telling his mom everything going on between us. I have an appointment already and he just keeps saying he has no time to call and make one. He could call in the morning before work or at any time while he is driving from on client to the next or when he has a break between them but refuses.
A couple days ago he was sending a message to his mom and I saw he said something about me. With it he said he's not sure if I'm only with him for money or not. In my mind he just told the biggest problem in our relationship that I'm a gold digger which hurt both from him betraying my trust and for it being completely disrespectful.
I have no plan on having his mother in my life anymore because she can't respect me. There are multiple other things she's done over the years and I'm at my breaking point now. He's mad at me saying I can't cut her out because we are having a baby. I feel like having a baby is a better reason to cut her out since she's continually ignoring any request I make for boundaries. He said he tells her things because she asks. I don't see why he can't tell her it's not her business and leave it at that.
I honestly have no idea what to do anymore and am just looking for advice for others that may have been in similar situations.
TLDR: Mother in law keeps putting her opinion into my relationship and I'm tired of it. Husband doesn't care and keeps telling her about us and listening to her instead of talking to me. I want to cut her out of my life now because of it.