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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding venue cancelling my menu choices with three weeks to go - devastated

248 replies

Ilikegherkins · 12/08/2022 16:59

I have just received an email from my wedding venue saying there has been a mid communication with my menu choices for my upcoming wedding. I have chosen a three course meal - with the help of the events planner at the venue, printed menus for 44 guests to choose and RSVP, spent hours with a spreadsheet to be able to get my pre order in - which was confirmed by the head chef in February (all choices with costings)

We have a three course set menu for 44 guests - we have also pro ordered lots of wine / beer and will be getting evening food for approx 60 people

I am in complete disbelief. The new set menu they have sent me bears no resemblance to my menu and is £20 per head more expensive

They have offered me a bottle of champagne to say sorry

Does anyone have any constructive advice - I'm a bit heartbroken

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 12/08/2022 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Not in the spirit

SomeoneInTheLaaaaaounge · 12/08/2022 17:43

Whatever happens do not pay any more money. That’s not on. You must take that option of the table. You can’t be asked to pay for their mistake!
good luck!

Original poster
Ilikegherkins · 12/08/2022 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Not in the spirit

Thankyou - I have taken a deep breath and realised it's not the end of the world. People will still get fed. Just a pain in the bum at such a late stage in the game. Hopefully when I can speak to the manager we can sort something out.

The responses on here have been great and have helped me plan my conversation with them when we eventually'talk'

OP posts:
Bluub · 12/08/2022 17:47

Thatswhyimacat · 12/08/2022 17:11

They may not be able to honour the dishes if the ingredients aren't available, but they should honour the cost or offer at least a much better 'sorry' than one bottle of champagne - a bottle for every few guests would be a start.

Agreed

Original poster
Ilikegherkins · 12/08/2022 17:48

I will check in again in the morning

OP posts:
TooHotToTangoToo · 12/08/2022 17:48

I certainly would be ousting back on paying an extra £20 per head

GCAcademic · 12/08/2022 17:48

Ilikegherkins · 12/08/2022 17:23

It's a lovely pub (award winning foodie pub) with event space so not a 'wedding venue' as such

Show quote history

That makes it even worse. We had a our wedding at a foodie pub rather than a typical wedding venue as we are big foodies and the meal was important to us. I can well understand why you’re so upset. The offer of a bottle of champagne is a complete insult.

daisychain01 · 12/08/2022 17:48

Slightly less conventional starters - but crowd pleasing mains - fish and chips/ roast beef or chicken with fancy potatoes - easy mains.

Are the options you've mention

(a) the new options theyre proposing or

(b) your original choices.

If (a), that's incredible that they can't source those basic ingredients - good god, you could get all that stuff at the local supermarket!

If (b) I'd accept those options, they are really nice. Don't whatever you do accept their bottle of bubbly, that would signify you accept their proposal. Tell them to serve their new options at the same price they quoted. Make sure if any of your guests have specified any special dietary requirements that they haven't buggered around with those dishes.

Original poster
Ilikegherkins · 12/08/2022 17:49

daisychain01 · 12/08/2022 17:48

Slightly less conventional starters - but crowd pleasing mains - fish and chips/ roast beef or chicken with fancy potatoes - easy mains.

Are the options you've mention

(a) the new options theyre proposing or

(b) your original choices.

If (a), that's incredible that they can't source those basic ingredients - good god, you could get all that stuff at the local supermarket!

If (b) I'd accept those options, they are really nice. Don't whatever you do accept their bottle of bubbly, that would signify you accept their proposal. Tell them to serve their new options at the same price they quoted. Make sure if any of your guests have specified any special dietary requirements that they haven't buggered around with those dishes.

These our our choices

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 12/08/2022 17:49

If they can't source the ingredients then they can't. What do you expect them to do?

Agree they should honour the pricing through.

Bluub · 12/08/2022 17:49

Tollystar · 12/08/2022 17:26

Even if they are intending to honour the price, the inconvenience and embarrassment for you to contact all of your guests again for their choices, and print new menus is worth a fuck-ton more than one free bottle of champagne!!

Oh come off it it's not embarrassing. Annoying yes.

Pumasonsatsumas · 12/08/2022 17:51

Email is fine.

Bordesleyhills · 12/08/2022 17:52

Really hope you can get it sorted and soon. 3 weeks isn’t long

HotWashCycle · 12/08/2022 17:53

Agreeing with others OP to put this into Legal, as this is a contractual matter. Did you pay anything upfront? A contract does not have to be in writing. It sounds as though the venue is potentially in breach of contract if they do not honour your previous agreement, and they can't just do that. Ask in Legal before you respond to the venue.

LIZS · 12/08/2022 17:54

So they need to come up with fish and chips, roast beef and chicken dishes , and meet any agreed dietary needs, as a minimum. I doubt your guests will recall exactly what they chose otherwise.

SausageinaBun · 12/08/2022 17:55

What they are saying doesn't ring true. It sounds like costs have risen and they don't want to lose their margins. It might sound more palatable to pass it off as a miscommunication.

Morred · 12/08/2022 17:56

If you’re paying for the event planner, get them to find a solution. You’re not going to be able to get new menu choices off everyone with only 3 weeks to go, so it’s also in their own interests to try to do something closer to your originals.

HellaFitzgerald · 12/08/2022 17:59

I disagree with the poster who said you should speak to them in person. After this outrageous epic fuck-up I would be putting ALL communication in writing as proof if it comes to legal action.

legosunqueen · 12/08/2022 18:00

Your original food choices sound lovely but are hardly rare/unusual - I'd push back & if the menu has to change definitely don't pay more. Will your wines match with the new options?

annoyedneighbour1 · 12/08/2022 18:00

Bloody Nora!!! What a mess. Absolutely not acceptable.

RedWineRage · 12/08/2022 18:01

Hi OP
You have my sympathy. I posted a thread on here a couple of months ago when my wedding venue decided they weren't serving red wine anymore, and instead would offer rosé. Again, communicated by email with no real acknowledgement that this was quite a big change.

It's enraging when you've planned it all around something that's important to you which I'm guessing the meal is as you've booked a foodie pub and put a lot of effort into your food pairings.

You will get the inevitable dickheads on here who think anything other than a slice of bread and a glass of water at a wedding is extravagant and you have no right to be upset/ you're being bridezilla etc.

Ignore them.

I followed some of the excellent advice I got on here and, when they failed to pick up the phone (sounds familiar):

  1. I emailed them saying how disappointed I was that such a fundamental change was communicated via email and not a phone call, and arranged a phone call with them
  2. On the call I asked them to explain what the issue was in detail, while sticking to my guns that such a change was totally unacceptable
  3. It then escalated to a manager where I continued to make the point that having made an agreement and taken payment they couldn't then change terms at the last minute (playing on reputation, etc) but also wanted to work with them to agree a solution.
  4. In the end, they agreed to serve red wine with the meal, and we got a drinks upgrade.

As PPs suggest, treat it as a negotiation, ask them to elaborate on their problem that has caused this and insist that they come up with a better solution that has less impact on you as the customer.

Right now their proposed solution transfers their entire problem from them to you, which is completely unacceptable.

Good luck, I'm sure it will turn out OK!

Inextremis · 12/08/2022 18:01

I can't understand how a gastropub can be unable to source fish, chicken, beef and potatoes! There's something fishy (no pun intended) going on here...

bcc89 · 12/08/2022 18:03

I agree with a PP, there wasn't a miscommunication. They've realised that they're losing out on their margin due to price increases, but they don't want to say that. However, emails and verbal conversations do form a contractual agreement of which they are now breaching.

As you're so close to the wedding date, I would be prepared to possibly budget on the menu slightly, but I would certainly not be prepared to spend an extra 20ph. And ONE bottle of champagne? Absolutely not 😂

GeneParmesanPrivateEye · 12/08/2022 18:04

I'm sorry... they can't source the ingredients for fish & chips, meat and potatoes. Er, what?

BasiliskStare · 12/08/2022 18:09

@HellaFitzgerald I would speak to them in person & then follow up with an email so every said is in writing