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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave under these circumstances?

16 replies

TimeAtTheBar · 12/08/2022 16:16

I feel so guilty.

I love my job but it’s so broken, staffing issues, issues with the building. Not one day goes by without an issue or drama. I have far too much responsibility for the shit pay I’m on and my contracted hours are 48 (and I usually work far more).

I’ve had a little nose around today and applied for three jobs. Same level, similar industries. All three are advertised at 4-5k more than I’m on, and are 39 or 40hrs. No more 3am finishes either.

But if I leave it means the remaining manager will be up to her eyes in shit. My opposite manager has just handed his notice in. And there’s a very real chance the branch might close as we aren’t actually turning a profit, my manager and I have been slogging our guts to change this but there are just so many issues it feels impossible.

I just don’t think I have it in me anymore. But I’ll be letting so many people down. How do you square the guilt about this?

OP posts:
Proudofeveryone · 12/08/2022 16:19

In work life you are the only one interested in you.
You are just a number.

Original poster
TimeAtTheBar · 12/08/2022 16:24

That is true, and I’m not irreplaceable. However I do a lot more than my actual job description and we are already struggling to recruit. If I leave I really will be fucking them over. I feel awful.

OP posts:
Essexgalttc · 12/08/2022 16:25

I spent 10 years in my previous job and for the last 3 years of it I was unhappy and tempted to leave. Finding another job was the best choice I made.

The harsh truth is that most of your work colleagues and managers aren’t your friends and would leave you in it if it was the other way round. You have to put yourself first and not think of others.

It is such a tough jump leaving a job. I ended up leaving mine right as someone else left and I was meant to mentor 3 apprentices. I did “leave them in it” I guess but guess what? They replaced me. Everyone is replaceable and they’ll get on with it

Put yourself first OP

Good luck!

girlmom21 · 12/08/2022 16:25

What's the alternative? You stay and get made redundant anyway?

Sorry to be morbid but if you died on your way home tonight they'd be advertising for your replacement before your funeral.

Sunnyqueen · 12/08/2022 16:27

You can't stay for other people. Unless the companies willing to match the pay of these other positions and then some to make up for the hours it's not your problem.

Tigofigo · 12/08/2022 16:28

If you're having to work that hard to try to make it a success, it's probably doomed anyway. You're not letting anyone down by leaving, but you'd be letting yourself down by putting your loyalty to your colleagues over a better job.

ZombeaArthur · 12/08/2022 16:38

I think the thing to remember is, when things are as bad as you describe, they’re the ones who are actually letting you down!

Ihadenough22 · 12/08/2022 17:37

The situation your are in at the moment regarding your job is not good. Your working long hours and doing unpaid overtime. Your company is not doing well so you may be made redundant. If you were made redundant your pay off could be very little as well.

With the current cost of living situation you don't want to be out of work. You need to apply for as many jobs as possible and once you get a new job you can leave your current job.
You don't want to end up unemployed and trying to live on benefits. I have been unemployed. Trying to live on benefits is not easy and it worse say coming up to Christmas.

iklboo · 12/08/2022 18:05

I get what you mean OP. I handle the biggest caseload in our team, the quickest. When I go on holiday the queue starts piling up - even though there are 19 others on the team. I enjoy my job but not the constant expectation that I'll carry the section.

I've applied for a job in a similar sector that offers £3k more, better benefits and more flexible working. But part of me is worrying about what will happen if I leave.

Chdjdn · 12/08/2022 18:09

I left a job where I knew it was leaving them in shit as I just knew I couldn’t do it any more and as much as I felt bad I watched other people do it and thought sometimes I just need to put myself first

AbreathofFrenchair · 12/08/2022 18:11

TimeAtTheBar · 12/08/2022 16:16

I feel so guilty.

I love my job but it’s so broken, staffing issues, issues with the building. Not one day goes by without an issue or drama. I have far too much responsibility for the shit pay I’m on and my contracted hours are 48 (and I usually work far more).

I’ve had a little nose around today and applied for three jobs. Same level, similar industries. All three are advertised at 4-5k more than I’m on, and are 39 or 40hrs. No more 3am finishes either.

But if I leave it means the remaining manager will be up to her eyes in shit. My opposite manager has just handed his notice in. And there’s a very real chance the branch might close as we aren’t actually turning a profit, my manager and I have been slogging our guts to change this but there are just so many issues it feels impossible.

I just don’t think I have it in me anymore. But I’ll be letting so many people down. How do you square the guilt about this?

Its always worth remembering the following.

It's a business. If they were in trouble and needed to make cutbacks, they wouldn't think twice about letting you go.

If you die, your job will be advertised before your funeral takes place.

Look out for yourself and your own mental well-being and do what's right for you, no one else will.

SpencersCroftCat · 12/08/2022 18:17

Do you honestly think other staff would hesitate to do what they needed to do, just to save you? Save yourself. Team spirit is great and shit, but it sounds like it's going to go under anyway so jump.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 12/08/2022 18:21

I got asked if I wanted to go for a job in a different department last week. I told my line manager I felt like I did but I felt bad that my colleague would be on her own. Already short staffed. My manager said these things happen and we have to do what we have to do.

AceSpades54321 · 12/08/2022 18:22

I’m guessing you feel this loyalty because you work for a not-for-profit business?

bbqhulahoop · 12/08/2022 18:28

In nicest possible way OP, if you got hit by a bus tomorrow they'd have replaced you by next week. Concentrate on what's best for you! Your manager wouldn't care about leaning you in the shit by leaving

Original poster
TimeAtTheBar · 13/08/2022 13:44

Thanks all. This has really helped.

Nothing may come of my applications anyway but I am happy I’ve stuck my toe in the water.

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