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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu or is my husband ?

38 replies

Chickenwrap · 12/08/2022 12:57

For the last few months my husband has been smoking weed, started just one joint about once a week (ready rolled by a friend) smoked in the garden.
I objected to the smell when he comes in the house - he stank of it, and he knows how I feel about drugs, any drugs . I'm not a prude, did drugs in my younger years.

Anyway we have a summerhouse in our garden which is set up for visitors. He has taken to smoking it in there and sleeping in there all night - its cooler and he sleeps better. But it's becoming more regular. He says it's because of the heat but he always makes sure he has a joint ready.
Aibu to object to my 52 year old dh behaving like some sort of teenager. He came into the house last night to get some snacks, stoned and laughing his head off.
Before this he hadn't smoked it for many years. We have been together 10yrs. I know he smoked it in his teens and 20s.
Don't really know what to make of it, although I do like having the bed to myself ! 🤔

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/12/2022 18:15

Dump. Dump. Dump. Dump. Dump.

How would he feel if if you took up doing a line of coke just "once in a while?"

Selfish twat. He will start unravelling soon. Get out now while you can.

SheldonsShoulder · 19/12/2022 18:16

You’re not overreacting. It’s a lifestyle choice and you have different ideas about how you want to live. If he stopped smoking weed, he’d probably go back to alcohol. It sounds like you’re incompatible. I couldn’t live with someone who got drunk or stoned every night either.

Valeriekat · 19/12/2022 19:14

So his children are enabling his habit. That is awful.

Chickenwrap · 25/12/2022 21:06

Oh god I'm back.
He had a joint on Tuesday, I was ill and in bed so it didn't really affect me.

It came to yesterday and I knew he was getting one for the evening. I let it go as didn't want to spoil Christmas. Also he isn't able to drink at the moment due to a health condition.
Today, around 6 as soon as our guests left I was tidying up and he mentioned going out to the summerhouse. I asked him why and he said he had a joint (he'd got 2 yesterday) .
Well I lost it!! Its Christmas day ffs.
He'd been planning this.
I'm done.

OP posts:
Miss03852 · 25/12/2022 21:09

yanbu that would do my head in

TwoMonthsOff · 25/12/2022 21:13

The summerhouse must be quite cold this time of year, I’d also be worried about him getting a chill if he’s crashed in there all night breathing in damp air

Needtobuildabridge · 25/12/2022 21:18

@Chickenwrap Good on you. Be done. Start to get your ducks in a row, and work out your next moves - you've got this, stay strong.

Chickenwrap · 25/12/2022 21:41

TwoMonthsOff · 25/12/2022 21:13

The summerhouse must be quite cold this time of year, I’d also be worried about him getting a chill if he’s crashed in there all night breathing in damp air

Hes bought a heater to put in there!

OP posts:
Miss03852 · 25/12/2022 22:23

If it’s a mini heater they cost an absolute fortune to run

TwoMonthsOff · 25/12/2022 22:34

@Chickenwrap of course he has - silly me ! you wait OP, very soon there will be assorted snacks, drinks and a bluetooth speaker, I used to know teenage boys like this years ago but in those days it was the garage they moved into

Chickenwrap · 25/12/2022 22:37

Miss03852 · 25/12/2022 22:23

If it’s a mini heater they cost an absolute fortune to run

It's a free standing heater. Apparently it warms up really quickly and it's all fully insulated in there so keeps the heat in when it's turned off. I don't really get involved with the cost, he pays the gas and electric!

OP posts:
PabsyPops · 14/03/2023 21:07

How is it going?

Chickenwrap2 · 21/02/2024 13:42

18 months on and I'm back (couldn't log into my old account)
It's still going on and I feel like such a mug.
Despite many promises from him to quit or smoke one a week, he's having about 3 a week.
He thinks he has adhd - I have always thought this but he's only recently accepted I could be right. He says weed is good for adhd and it slows his brain down. This may be true but he won't go to the doctor or look into alternatives, cbd for example.

I just feel at the end of my rope. He is never going to change and I don't want to be with someone who would rather be stoned than spending time with me. Our marriage has completely broken down.
He's turned the summerhouse into something that a teenage boy would love! Sofa bed, tv, rubbish everywhere and it stinks!!
I'm just stuck because I can't move out so am thinking of ending our relationship and taking it from there. He's had so many warnings so he cant be surprised. I'm just done.

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