DH not following basic rules

[mathsewhizz]

Name changed for this as previous posts probably lead to this being identifiable!

Just for clarity, not my rules... just usual rules to live by.

DH has just bought a giant paddling pool. Amidst a pending hosepipe ban. It has just arrived... i was embarrassed taking it off the Amazon driver given the droughts the country is experiencing. I know this is going to cause massive conflict when we get home when he starts to unroll the bloody hosepipe to fill it up.

Not sure what I want out of this. Solidarity? Agreement that DH is a selfish idiot? To be told I'm an uptight madam and to chill out?

I also have this with other normal safety rules: cutting up grapes etc safely, not leaving toddler in the bath to nip into a bedroom, keeping the car seat rear facing... not me being extra or over the top. Just following basic rules!

I'm exhausted arguing about it. And bored of being made to feel over anxious and pernickety.

It's not a rule that he can't buy a paddling pool, bit twattish yes, but technically if you are not in a hosepipe ban he hasn't done anything wrong.

Are you calling out on your imposed 'rules' all the time, that would piss me off no end.

I can't see the correlation between common sense and safety and a paddling pool though.

Do you have a reward chart up for him? Does he understand the consequences etc?

I also have this with other normal safety rules: cutting up grapes etc safely, not leaving toddler in the bath to nip into a bedroom, keeping the car seat rear facing... not me being extra or over the top. Just following basic rules!

This is completely different to the paddling pool thing.

The paddling pool thing is annoying, but presumably there is currently no hosepipe ban so (regardless of whether you feel it's ethically OK to fill the pool) he hasn't failed to follow any rules at all. While you might disagree with him on whether it's environmentally responsible when you know there will be a hosepipe ban in the near future, he hasn't actually failed to follow any rules unless you consider your opinion to be 'a rule' which would suggest that you probably are a bit 'extra'.

But the other stuff is him being a bit of a twat about your kids' safety, which is completely different.

There’s a big difference between filling a paddling pool during a heatwave and not cutting up choking hazards tbh.

You say pending hosepipe ban. So there’s no ban. Fill the pool. If they bring in a hosepipe ban people will still be showering, washing clothes etc and many will still be filling pools, hot tubs, washing cars etc - some will use a bucket to get round the ban on a technicality, some won’t bother. The real reason they used to ban hosepipes was people watering their lawn with a sprinkler, leaving it on for hours. It wasn’t to stop people from being able to keep their kids cool in the summer.

If he leaves young children unsupervised in the paddling pool or puts it in direct sunshine that correlates more closely with the other examples you give. Which suggest he’s a shit irresponsible parent more than a rule breaker.

So I guess the link is that he won't supervise DD properly in this gigantic pool and will let her go in the garden unattended meaning I will have to watch her all the time.

But I do see how these things are separate generally.

I suppose I just think he should be more environmentally conscientious.

Reward chart @SavoirFlair not yet!

@abovedecknotbelow tbh I probably do because I want to keep DD safe from choking/drowning/car accidents 🤷🏼‍♀️