I am doing some 'inner work' regarding previous relationship patterns and how I have contributed to their dynamic.
Hopefully to find 'the One' as some point in the future. This is with the aid of some self help books etc.
During these inbetween stages of relationships I reflect on Men I have dated and really think - Not even Mother Teresa herself could have had the patience, savvy and inner strength to deal with these guys . Let alone me swiping on a dating app and jumping fanny first into a pool of men on Tinder / Bumble and the like as so many hopeful single woman do.
One example from a couple of years ago -
I had met a professional Man on the popular app Bumble. He was very keen straight away, asked me to be his GF - said he wanted all the same things. He seemed legit. That was until I got a job promotion and it went 180 very quick after about a year of dating. Even his own mother said she could not believe the change in him.
He continuously shouted 'money' at me for the subsequent latter weeks of our romantic liason. He had came across the paperwork on my kitchen table with the job and earnings which he took upon himself to look through whilst I was showering. He also made reference numerous times about how I would be holidaying in the south of france drinking champagne with my new found professional status and financial freedom (I dont - I go camping in Scotland). I over heard him speaking to a friend on the phone saying 'of course I would never leave her, I know what her salary is'.
Basically the relationship took a sudden and steep nose dive very quickly - I had not changed internally, nothing about me had changed - but his perception of me had. How is that my problem? And why do I need to be sitting with a self help book to 'heal' to change that and improve my dating life.
AIBU to say that there is no way in Gods earth you can make a relationship work with a guy who is as hideous as this? No amount of 'inner work' takes away from the fact that some people are just grade A dicks.
Sorry for the rant but it seems I am here 'working on myself' and doing the 'inner work' - whilst some people you come across are just dicks. I feel like I do this work for people who should have done it in the first place. Makes me angry. AIBU