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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What did you get for your 50th birthday?

44 replies

kessiebird · 12/08/2022 07:04

It's my 50th next weekend. DH is now asking for present ideas. We are going on holiday twice, which I'd thought of as my present, it's come around quick and I really have no idea what I would like.

He doesn't really do shops so it would be down to me and DD (11) to sort. Just a nosey thread really to ask AIBU to say put a bit of money into a pot and I'll get something I like when I see it? Two kids, cost of living here / looming...

OP posts:

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 16/08/2022 19:55

Dh got me a bag that I’d admired, a designer silk scarf and we went to Barcelona and ate at a posh restaurant.
My 60th though, got sweet fa.

Lulu1919 · 16/08/2022 19:56

We went on a week cruise to Norway !
He booked it as a surprise ...it was !!!!!

Grendalsmum · 16/08/2022 20:02

A swimming with sharks experience and a jolly lunch at the pub - it was awesome!

hopeishere · 16/08/2022 20:05

A Cartier watch. He was very ill in hospital at the time so it was all a bit stressful.

My sister took me out for dinner (she did promise me a spa day as a present but it never materialised!!)

Thatiswild · 16/08/2022 20:09

This wasn’t for my 50th but last birthday my mum and dad each separately gave me £50 so I put it together and paid for a course to make a ring or pendant with a lovely local jeweller, I made a ring I am absolutely thrilled with and I’ll always love it. It was a really nice evening too. I always prefer experiences than items really.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 16/08/2022 20:12

A Dryrobe and a circuit breaker lockdown.
One friend made me a curry and all sorts of sides which she left on my doorstep.
Another made me amazing ice cream which I picked up remotely.
The DC got DH to order me a cream tea to be delivered.

FourChimneys · 16/08/2022 20:16

Some very niche sports equipment (no, not cycling!!!) which was perfect, but only if you do that sport...

BarbaraofSeville · 16/08/2022 20:18

Drivebye · 16/08/2022 19:49

'He doesn't really do shops so it would be down to me and DD (11) to sort'

So he can't be bothered to buy you a present, what's the point! So has he never bought a gift for you? Surely it's irrelevant if you tell him what you want as you are going to buy it anyway. For me the bests gifts are those that people have bought me because they have listened to me and are interested enough to know what I like. Mostly this has been really inexpensive things.

Anyway to answer your question I had jewelry.

This. If he has to be told what to buy its not a present, it's just more mental load.

I'd tell him that, for my present, I'd like him to go to the shops or online, choose something, wrap it and give it to me.

Something he'd chosen himself that cost £5 would mean far more to me than something that cost £500 where I had to say 'buy me this from that shop'.

woodhill · 16/08/2022 20:19

A beautiful bracelet, an antique

Hadalifeonce · 16/08/2022 20:20

A Tassimo coffee machine.... I love it.

Pawtucketbrew · 16/08/2022 20:20

Next spring for me and have simply asked for a holiday in villa with private pool. That is enough and will not ask for gifts. I don't really need anything so prefer an experience with loved ones.

Original poster

kessiebird · 16/08/2022 21:45

BarbaraofSeville · 16/08/2022 20:18

This. If he has to be told what to buy its not a present, it's just more mental load.

I'd tell him that, for my present, I'd like him to go to the shops or online, choose something, wrap it and give it to me.

Something he'd chosen himself that cost £5 would mean far more to me than something that cost £500 where I had to say 'buy me this from that shop'.

Show quote history

I agree with you it is more mental load that I didn't need. He's not the best present shopper. See point up thread about the Febreeze air fresheners and his love of Poundzone as its near his allotment. So yes he can go to a shop and get me something for a fiver, I was just wondering what others got.

In the past they've seen him coming on the beauty counters in Boots and he's spent a small fortune, which is lovely, but just not practical at the moment.

We've likely both neglected our own needs where birthdays and Christmas is concerned for a long time, I'd say largely due to circumstances rather than choice.

Something we likely need to look at once we have more time for us.

OP posts:

Badger1970 · 16/08/2022 21:52

Mine was in lockdown and I was very glad as it meant no surprise parties! Luckily we were able to book a private dining room at a local hotel, and we had a really special family dinner that DH paid for. He also bought me a really nice winter coat that I'd had my eye on (thanks to our DDs guiding him). It was a really lovely day. Our DDs clubbed together and got me a set of Annie Haak bracelets that I wear every day.

Original poster

kessiebird · 16/08/2022 21:55

Thanks for all the answers, some lovely presents there. Not my 50th but last year we camped in Snowdonia and did Zip World Titan 2 which was a great experience as a family.. The person who did the day of flying gliders, I'd love that.

After all that I'm going to buy some travel guides to the cities we are headed to in the autumn. I've got a nice collection of travel books of places we've been pre-covid so that's something I'd actually use and get joy from. Sorted. Although not bought yet 😂

OP posts:

Splodgerbodgerbadger · 16/08/2022 21:57

This set of Denby plates love them got two sets of dinner plates and one set of side plates.

What did you get for your 50th birthday?

tiredandstripey · 16/08/2022 22:03

BarbaraofSeville · 16/08/2022 20:18

This. If he has to be told what to buy its not a present, it's just more mental load.

I'd tell him that, for my present, I'd like him to go to the shops or online, choose something, wrap it and give it to me.

Something he'd chosen himself that cost £5 would mean far more to me than something that cost £500 where I had to say 'buy me this from that shop'.

Show quote history

As ever, totally agree with @BarbaraofSeville. How ridiculous to say that he wants to get you a present so you need to think of something but he doesn’t really do shops so you basically have to sort it yourself. Can you imagine if this was the other way around? “My wife wants to get me a birthday gift but she doesn’t really go to shops so me and DS will need to sort whatever I want”.

Mykittensmittens · 16/08/2022 22:04

A vintage piece of jewellery, a lovely meal with friends in my favourite place which wasn’t OTT. Flowers and plants for the garden.

and lots of thoughtful things which didn’t ‘cost’ like breakfast in bed 2 days running, a zoom call engineered with distanced family, time off work together, and not lifting a finger for the whole
weekend.

Gingerwarthog · 17/08/2022 18:21

A Ralph Lauren burgundy suede bag that I had covered for ages from DH.
Beautiful silver bracelet from colleagues.
Champagne and a great family get together.
Handmade card from DD and a jigsaw puzzle. X

Cheekymaw · 17/08/2022 18:30

Can't remember (was only two years ago)but probably a book from Tesco. He doesn't make much of an effort. Getting slightly better but I just tell him not to bother tbh and buy myself something

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