To have have reached the end of my tether

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I am absolutely aware I’m totally unreasonable. I’ve just had it. I’ve had it with work paying me less than the going rate for my job and I stay because of ‘flexibility’. Silly me.

I’ve had enough of colleagues taking their frustration out on me. I’ve had enough of being patronised. I know I’ve got to change my work situation and I was comfortable with it when it worked for me around childcare but now it doesn’t. but my self esteem is really low and I flunk out in interviews due to excessive nervousness. I have a lot of very good, valid experience but always feel like an imposter.

I have a ton of personal things happening including some caring responsibilities for a terminally ill family member. Frankly I’ve just had enough of work politics and simply do not get paid enough to care.

Talk me down from quitting tomorrow morning!

I hope you get some good support here. Are you in a union?

I do actually love my job and I’m passionate about what I’m working on. Maybe it’s just the colleagues!

I realise how whiny this is now I’ve read it back.

That sounds really tough and I’m sorry they don’t appreciate you. Don’t resign after a bad day though - it should always be a considered decision when you’ve been through all the practicalities and finances of not having this job anymore.

Thank @Cantanka thats just the sensible response so needed!

@Etinoxaurus I’ve never been part of a union. I’m not entirely sure there is one for my industry but that’s probably me being really ignorant. I’ll have a look. Thank you.

It’s not Whiney. A bad work life can really get you down. My MH and physical health suffered last year because of a toxic work environment and I felt trapped because of my need for flexibility. Thankfully some team changes helped me see the light and I also changed a few things myself by really identifying what was wrong.
I wouldn’t have been able to move jobs because my confidence was rock bottom and I thought I was the problem. Id try and fix things where you are to get back to yourself again. The only person you hurt by quitting is you. You will miss out on stuff you want to do due to lack of funds and also any negotiating power with future salaries will be weak if you are unemployed. (I’ve had a salary talked down whilst unemployed. Future employer said ‘look, you need a job and this is the most we will offer’ shocking but the reality was, they were right)

Start by listing specifically what is wrong at work and see if there are any positive actions you can take.
are there specific things that are damaging your self esteem? Are those things within your control or influence, or are they out of you control. If they are out of your control can you move away from them.

Do you need to work on boundaries with toxic colleagues? I.e ‘I don’t have time to discuss this now, shall we have a cuppa when I’m less busy’ usually works to silence my ranty desk neighbour.

Do you have any skill gaps you could close up with training, either by requesting at work or even just internet research.

Can you move teams? Is there someone you can go to about work politics? does it go as far as bullying or against company culture, if so HR or your line manager should listen to your concerns and either intervene or mentor you to solve difficult relationships.

Just realised how hold this is , I hope you are in a better place now!