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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell her to sod off to Costa Rica with the birds?

15 replies

BeatieBourke · 11/08/2022 16:18

I am juggling a newish full time job and the summer holidays with a 6 year old. It's the first time I've worked ft with school aged children and as most of us agree its...tricky.

My childcare plans went to shit this week. DS6 has had to come to the office with me for a day. Not ideal. Luckily I work in a setting that makes it much easier than it would be in many work places. We have play equipment and craft materials in the building. Our organisation supports women. Nonetheless, between drawing and colouring, playing with cars and spinning around on an office chair (all in my own office, on a separate floor), he's spent a bit more time on Minecraft than he usually would. C'est la vie and needs must.

One of my colleagues, on seeing this, decided it was a great time to lecture me about the ills of screentime for kids. Apparently her grandchildren, 5, 8 and 11, don't ever have screen time and don't own any devices. Her daughter is very strict about it because she feels a responsibility to raise HEALTHY children. Healthy minds are justbas important as healthy bodies, apparently. Because of this, they're very fit and healthy and just LOVE nature and being outside and get LOTS of exercise. So much so, they all went to Costa Rica for a month at Christams JUST to walk and study the birds.

Well whoop de fucking do for them. I'm ecstatic for them. Obviously, my child does 0 exercise and has evolved extra large thumbs as he is permenantly glued to his device. He uses it as a pillow. I'm thinking of having it surgically attached to his hands so he never loses it. He has only ever eaten chicken nuggets. So strong is my commitment to this that I used to blend them up and put them in a bottle when he was a baby. I consider myself to have no responsibility for the health of my child, and am proud that he is going to get his monies worth in NHS treatment for diabetes and heart disease as an adult. 🤔🧐

I wish I'd said this. In reality I just said "Ooh, Costa Rica! Lucky kids. How do they do their homework?"

She wouldn't know that my son plays football, swims and does gymnastics, is super fit and sporty, vegetarian, and has eaten a pretty healthy diet of whole foods cooked from scratch since he was 1. He'll happily chow down on a pile of chick pea and lentil curry with brown rice. He also has the odd treat. I'm aiming for him to grow up without an eating disorder or body issues. He enjoys his physical activities, and also loves to play the many musical instruments we have in the house, and draws a pretty mean picture. He walks miles in the couñtryside most weekends and can identify birds and native wildflowers.

She'd have no idea of this, because she doesn't know us at all. Instead she took one look at me and decided, for some reason, that I needed educating. I cant think why she might have made this assessment... I'm a bit of a chunk, mostly due to an autoimmune disease that went undiagnosed for an few years, and a good pinch of being knackered. I walk, swim outdoors and paddle board. Before i had a baby and ended up with said ilness i was a svelt size 8. I'm much fitter now than I was then. Clearly as I'm not skinny and my kid has to occasionally have a device thrust at him in an emergency so I can do my job, I'm a terrible parent.

I'm going back in the office Monday. If this crops up again, WIBU to ask her why SHE'S not in chuffing Costa Rica?

OP posts:
BeatieBourke · 11/08/2022 16:35

Might be feeling a tad tetchy. Its hot.

OP posts:
floppybit · 11/08/2022 16:52

Hahaha! Rant away! I bet the mother of these grandchildren isn't trying to manage them whilst having a full time job, this is what your colleague is failing to realise

BeatieBourke · 11/08/2022 17:00

It's riled me! The more I think about it the more cross I get. She's one licorice tea and a rice cake away from having them shoved where the sun don't shine.

We're supposed to be SUPPORTING WOMEN fgs. Not judging them to feck whilst humble bragging about our own family's glamorous holidays.🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
RB68 · 11/08/2022 17:19

Just that your response should be "are you supporting me or judging me here?"

Georgeskitchen · 11/08/2022 17:20

"Walking and studying birds"

poor kids 😉

ManateeFair · 11/08/2022 17:25

BeatieBourke · 11/08/2022 17:00

It's riled me! The more I think about it the more cross I get. She's one licorice tea and a rice cake away from having them shoved where the sun don't shine.

We're supposed to be SUPPORTING WOMEN fgs. Not judging them to feck whilst humble bragging about our own family's glamorous holidays.🤷‍♀️

I’m properly laughing at this. She sounds absolutely appalling 🤣

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 11/08/2022 17:50

I bet it was the dad that wanted this. Not saying that there aren’t female birders, but as a birding widow, most of our holidays were based around lots of birding. Our kids speak fondly of it. NOT!

BeatieBourke · 11/08/2022 19:00

She lives quite near me. Perhaps I should invite the grandkids round for a Minecraft and pizza party. That'd cheer them up!

OP posts:
titchy · 11/08/2022 19:06

I bet her daughter lies to her mother about their screen time and I'll bet 90% of the CR holiday was spent at the AI resort Smile

TheVanguardSix · 11/08/2022 19:10

I want to scream into my pillow on your behalf, OP.
I'd invite her grandchildren over for an E numbers party. Strap on the IVs and just mainline Barr's bubblegum soda.

Staynow · 11/08/2022 19:23

Who can take a month off work at any one time?? I think she's talking out her arse or exaggerating wildly. You should have said 'goodness where do the parents work that lets them have a month off at Christmas? I'll have to look into getting a job there!'

BeatieBourke · 11/08/2022 19:56

Just remembered that she also has grown up sons with children, and imagined her as a mother in law. Schadenfreude is a wonderful tonic! I bet her DILs can't stand her.

She has also, previously, mentioned "The African women" when discussing domestic violence in other countries. Feel slightly reassured that she's all round awful and I am entirely reasonable.

Why isn't it easier to bat this shit off as a parent and not let it get under your skin?

OP posts:
BeatieBourke · 11/08/2022 22:17

Perhaps more to the point, I've just discovered I have no childcare for 2 days a week for the next 2 weeks.

I've been in my job 2 months.

What the hell do I do now?

OP posts:
Tothemoonandbackx · 11/08/2022 22:27

BeatieBourke · 11/08/2022 22:17

Perhaps more to the point, I've just discovered I have no childcare for 2 days a week for the next 2 weeks.

I've been in my job 2 months.

What the hell do I do now?

See if you can get them tickets to Costa Rica, gratis of your colleague, if she likes kids being educated and fit, she won't mind your milkshake nugget drinking, Ipad pillow using son to tag along 😂

powershowerforanhour · 11/08/2022 22:34

Well I hope they fecking sailed there on a boat made out of biodegradable ethically produced materials navigating by the sun and stars using a reclaimed brass sextant. Or you can get lashed in to the evils of air travel next time she starts up.

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