Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked bed situation

44 replies

Throwaway19383837 · 11/08/2022 13:10

So, a situation went a friend of mine has a primary aged daughter and recently started dating someone.

the new guy has met her daughter a couple of times when this happened.

He stayed over the night, and then in the morning her daughter came and got into bed with them whilst he was naked (naked under covers)

my friend then sent her daughter out to play games but she came in again shortly after, he was still naked under the covers.

my friend then took daughter downstairs so he could get dressed.

this has caused a bit of a debate as to wether it was appropriate to allow daughter in the room with a naked (but covered) man.

thoughts?

OP posts:
Original poster
Throwaway19383837 · 12/08/2022 19:48

Thanks all. I was asked for my opinion on the situation and was shocked that she saw nothing wrong with the situation

OP posts:
Simonjt · 12/08/2022 19:54

Well bedding isn’t see through, so pjs or not, what the child sees is exactly the same. She just needs to get a lock for her door, or wedge a door stop under it if she has someone staying over.

Original poster
Throwaway19383837 · 12/08/2022 20:03

@Simonjt I'd be inclined to agree with you if the child was just in the room but she was in the bed with them

OP posts:
Simonjt · 12/08/2022 20:06

Ah, I misread (tired), still as long as she didn’t see anything it isn’t the end of the world. I’m guessing she is used to new people staying over if she was happy to get in bed?

diddl · 12/08/2022 20:29

I don't think the man has done anything wrong. He wasn't to know that his girlfriend's daughter was going to wander in.

Maybe he could have thought for himself that it was a possibility & perhaps he shouldn't stay over or should sleep in his boxers?

LimboLass · 12/08/2022 20:40

Not entirely sure what all the fuss is about given how the situation played out.

Your freind who is a mother has met a man and allowed him to sleep naked in her bed. Her daughter walked into the room got into the bed and the mother send the daughter out of the room. Her daughter returns to the room and mother then realises the child needs to be walked away whilst her new man gets dressed.

If the mother had invited the daugther into the room that would have been extremely inappropriate and yes a massive safeguarding issue. The actual situation sounds nothing more than unfortunate timing that was resolved without incident.

Are mothers not allowed to have new partners naked in their bed until their children have flown the nest?

Mally100 · 12/08/2022 20:45

Staynow · 11/08/2022 14:45

Why has she got a man in her bed that she barely knows when her daughter is there? It sounds way too soon. He shouldn't even be there IMO, let alone naked.

This . The buck stops at the mother for this situation even to begin with.

Goingforarun · 12/08/2022 20:51

So it’s ok for an under 11 year old to get in bed with a naked man next time?

Itsgettinghotinhre · 12/08/2022 21:10

LimboLass · 12/08/2022 20:40

Not entirely sure what all the fuss is about given how the situation played out.

Your freind who is a mother has met a man and allowed him to sleep naked in her bed. Her daughter walked into the room got into the bed and the mother send the daughter out of the room. Her daughter returns to the room and mother then realises the child needs to be walked away whilst her new man gets dressed.

If the mother had invited the daugther into the room that would have been extremely inappropriate and yes a massive safeguarding issue. The actual situation sounds nothing more than unfortunate timing that was resolved without incident.

Are mothers not allowed to have new partners naked in their bed until their children have flown the nest?

As a mother you would be twitching as soon as it got to early morning. Tbh if its a new partner she probably should of got him out of the house BEFORE the child woke up to avoid this exact situation.

When it's not the kids dad people judge. I say this as a single parent myself it's not a good look on OPS friend at all.

ManateeFair · 12/08/2022 21:21

I don’t have kids and if I was at someone else’s house it wouldn’t occur to me that their primary-aged child would come bowling into the room, and if they did I would definitely not imagine for one second that upon seeing me, an adult they barely knew, they would think it was OK to get into the bed with me. I would kind of assume that a primary age kid had more boundaries, unless I’d been told otherwise.

I don’t think the nakedness is the issue, really. It’s about the fact that a parent apparently has men her daughter hardly knows over to stay and doesn’t think it’s a problem that her DD apparently didn’t think twice about getting into bed with him.

LimboLass · 12/08/2022 21:24

As a mother you would be twitching as soon as it got to early morning

It is completely situation dependent. If the child is known to sleep in later than the monther and partner then there is no issue. If the child always gets into the mothers bed at the crack of dawn then yes there is an issue.

However really none of us have sufficient information to pass judgement because it has been omitted by OP.

ManateeFair · 12/08/2022 21:26

Are mothers not allowed to have new partners naked in their bed until their children have flown the nest?

I mean, if their children hardly know the partner and are prone to getting into their bed in the mornings, probably best avoided I’d have thought. If he was an established fixture and the child understood the concept of privacy and boundaries and privacy, it wouldn’t be a problem, but appears that was not the case here.

I actually feel sorry for the bloke; he was probably mortified.

RenegadeMatron · 12/08/2022 21:27

this has caused a bit of a debate as to wether it was appropriate to allow daughter in the room with a naked (but covered) man.

’A bit of debate’…?

Among who?!

Who is even privy to this situation, let alone ‘debating’ it….?

Winter2019 · 12/08/2022 21:44

They were not only SLEEPING obviously, that's why he was naked??!!? For all of those saying he should have had boxers on.
I mean,we don't know how long the couple have been dating/been together if daughter felt so comfortable to climb in bed even though there was a 'stranger'. Not an ideal situation unless they've been together longer than 'recently '

Aquamarine1029 · 12/08/2022 21:49

Your friend's judgement is appalling.

allboysherebutme · 12/08/2022 21:50

Definitely 100% not.

InquiringMinds · 12/08/2022 21:52

GetOffTheRoof · 11/08/2022 13:28

He shouldn't be sleeping naked. He needs to be aware of the small child in the boat who is not related to him and for whom is not a parent and wear something in bed.

Massive massive safeguarding risk. We were reminded of this on a pre-adoption course.

Spot on!

Nicenspicytoo · 12/08/2022 22:36

TheRealityCheque · 11/08/2022 14:54

Oh no! A naked body.

Think of the children's!!!

Safeguarding, lol.

😂Think of all the MN users this is blowing their mind! 😂

A naked man under the covers, best tell him to shower with his clothes on too!!

TheWayoftheLeaf · 13/08/2022 12:46

Winter2019 · 12/08/2022 21:44

They were not only SLEEPING obviously, that's why he was naked??!!? For all of those saying he should have had boxers on.
I mean,we don't know how long the couple have been dating/been together if daughter felt so comfortable to climb in bed even though there was a 'stranger'. Not an ideal situation unless they've been together longer than 'recently '

Some people sleep naked no matter what they're doing either side of the sleep

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread