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Original poster

To put DS back in pull ups?

36 replies

VeronicaM27 · 11/08/2022 12:13

Started potty training ds 3.2 on Friday. Started with him naked and he took to it really quickly. On Sunday we put on pants and after some accidents he got the idea. Monday he asked to use the potty every time he needed it and had zero accidents. He still needs my help getting his pants up and down which is fine.

Since then he’s reverted back to peeing in his pants. When I ask him if he needs to go he either completely ignores me or says no and then pees his pants.

This morning I took him to the toilet at 9am and he peed. Took him at 11am and he peed again. He’d had a big drink so I asked him at 11.30 if he needed to go again and he said no. 30 seconds later he’s peeing in his pants and all over the floor.

If I leave him naked he’ll go to the potty but if he has pants on he just pees them.

I’m starting to get really stressed out. On the one hand I think I should just put him back in pull ups and try again in a couple of months. On the other hand I know he can do it as we had a full day of him dry and telling me “I need potty”

Any advice?

OP posts:
LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 11/08/2022 12:16

I would and did put them back in nappies. Toilet training is so much easier when they're ready.

Original poster
VeronicaM27 · 11/08/2022 13:04

Thanks @LunaAndHerMoonDragons This is our second attempt so I was hoping he’d get it this time.

He's running about naked just now and is going to the potty when he needs it but as soon as his pants are on it all goes out the window. I’ve also tried no pants and trousers instead with the same result.

OP posts:
InChocolateWeTrust · 11/08/2022 13:08

He is over 3, easily old enough, hes just very used to ignoring the signals to wee in a nappy. It's only been a few days! It will take longer for him to relearn not to ignore his own body.

You rushed it putting pants on. Keep him naked below the waist as much as possible at home, then try loose shorts with no pants underneath. Pants feel like a nappy, and he's learned that when he has a nappy on he can just wee whenever, it takes time to undo that habit.

InChocolateWeTrust · 11/08/2022 13:09

Also don't ask him if he needs to go. If it's been a couple of hours just tell him its toilet time and take him. Toddlers always say no!

JustALittleHelpPlease · 11/08/2022 13:14

As pp says stay naked until that message is set, he's only ever known to ignore the signal, it takes time Smile

also toddlers quickly get bored of new things and ignore/avoid them. So toilet has to become routine, he's too early yet for options because he sees it as a game not a life skill. He doesn't want to play the game right now!

Keep going you've made a great start Smile

NannyR · 11/08/2022 13:16

If he's managing it naked, but not with pants on I would say he's ready and putting him back in nappies would be a backwards step.
I would have a basket of spare clothes and some paper towels handy and not make a big fuss about it " oh dear

Purplestorm83 · 11/08/2022 13:16

I used a reward chart with both of mine, it worked brilliantly.

NannyR · 11/08/2022 13:19

Sorry!
"oh dear, you're wet - can you sort yourself out with some dry clothes and put the wet ones in the washer" encourage him to have a go at cleaning up too. He'll get the hang of it soon.

Beees · 11/08/2022 13:20

Definitely don't revert to pull ups it sound like he's more than ready but he's just decided the 'game' is no fun now the novelty has worn off.

Time to resort to bribery and take him shopping for some exciting pants that he won't want to get wet.

ricestardust · 11/08/2022 13:22

Put him back into pull-ups for your own sanity. But, keep putting him on the toilet at regular intervals i.e. treat the pull-ups as if they were regular underwear. It seems like he's not yet fully accustomed to getting ready to use the toilet/potty when clothed.

emmathedilemma · 11/08/2022 13:23

At that age i wouldn't go back to pull ups / nappies. My nephew is 8 and will stay say he doesn't need the toilet if you ask him (clue is usually that he's jiggling up n down playing with his willy) and without fail he'll take himself 2 minutes later! They don't like being distracted from something that's more fun!

Ebonyhorse · 11/08/2022 13:25

I’m reading oh crap potty training, it’s very helpful. There is a lot about the myth of waiting until ready and age, at 3 your son is in the age bracket where he can make his own decisions so it is harder.

neverbeenskiing · 11/08/2022 13:25

I would persevere for a bit longer. It sounds like he's ready.

Marvellousmadness · 11/08/2022 13:25

Get a star chart
Or sweets as a reward
Or tv time whatever really
But DON'T go back to pull ups.

WombatStewForTea · 11/08/2022 13:27

Asking mine if she needs a wee doesn't work she always says no. I either tell her it's time to try or when she was just learning I set timers on Alexa (mostly to remind me) but she started saying oh it's time to go for a wee

Ebonyhorse · 11/08/2022 13:29

Yes - you don’t ask, you tell them.

Tuxedokitty · 11/08/2022 13:33

I recently spoke to the health visitor about this, as my childminder was getting increasingly frustrated with accidents. Hvs view was that the negative attention from the childminder when he had an accident was triggering more, because they can't differentiate between positive and negative attention. Her suggestions which I asked the childminder to also work with;

-Switch to boxers, they're easier to pull up
-Stickers when he goes (he likes them on a tshirt not a chart) half a day/a full day dry
-Big happy fuss when he goes to the loo
-Super breezy about accidents and ask for their help in the cleanup

  • expect accidents to happen, that's totally normal , no shaming when it does
  • don't go back to nappies and don't threaten to

Lo and behold, not a single accident in 3 weeks.

Good luck!

Samanabanana · 11/08/2022 13:33

You just need to push through. He sounds ready but has had an easy life up to now so he will of course be resistant to going to the potty. It takes precious time out of his day that he doesn't have to give up if he keeps his nappy! He'll get there. Good luck!

NannyR · 11/08/2022 13:37

A trick that worked well with the last child I trained, who didn't particularly like being told to go to the loo, was to say "time to go for a wee, you go on the potty and I'll go on the loo, let's see who finishes first"
The element of competition meant that he couldn't pull his pants down fast enough!!

BanditBluey · 11/08/2022 13:43

I'm not the OP but can I ask for some advice please. I have a DC aged 3 yr 8 months who is not potty trained yet. DC goes to preschool nursery and is on the schools SEN register as he needs additional support (likely ASD like his dad but no diagnosis yet). Just giving background.
So DC will normally happily use the potty, sometimes even on regular nappy wearing days will just randomly ask to use the potty. On a potty training day, it always starts out well. Potty at 8am, (pants on if I can get him to wear them) then 9am, "potty time DS?" And he will likely say yes and go. Then 10 he might refuse, then wee on floor. Change him and sit on potty, no wee, but immediately another wee on the floor. Change him then immediately wee on floor again. I try him on potty again, no wee. Try at 11 he might go on potty or he might not but then wee on floor again.

This is the jist of how it goes. Any suggestions for what I should do? Does he need more time before trying again?

HoldOnToHope · 11/08/2022 13:44

We had the same when my son went from wearing nothing on the bottom to wearing pants - I switched from pants to boxer briefs and he didn't have any more accidents. I think he was just getting confused between the feeling of the nappy and the feeling of the pants being similar, but boxer briefs feel totally different

Babyboomtastic · 11/08/2022 13:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Babyboomtastic · 11/08/2022 13:48

It's unreasonable for him to go back to pull ups when the main problem is that you are rushing the process rather than him not being ready.

It's often best to wait several days before trying any clothes, and 3-4 weeks before you introduce pants.

You also take them to to the loo and say it's time to sit and try/wee whatever, not asking if they want to go, as they won't.

He sounds like he's doing pretty well, but he can't go that fast. It's probably a little trickier as he's 3, which can mean you get increased resistance from them compared with 2.

Original poster
VeronicaM27 · 11/08/2022 13:52

Thanks everyone for your very helpful comments.

Ive taken the pants off and we’ve already had a pee and poo in the potty unprompted.

At the moment we have a potty in the living room and a training seat on the toilet. Should I keep the potty in the living room or take it away and just have him use the one in the toilet?

OP posts:
Original poster
VeronicaM27 · 11/08/2022 13:56

The reason I ask is, he seems to be a bit big for the potty and most of the time the pee ends up on the floor anyway!

OP posts:
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