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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was a bit of a dig? Work situation

16 replies

Thedivinyls · 11/08/2022 07:54

Work for a very small private language school, which also has a crèche.
This week I had a lesson right next to the crèche room, and there was only one child inside it at that time who I believe has behavioural issues and was being very noisy during the lesson, but there wasn't another room available.
Obviously can't silence a child, but I could see my student was unhappy so I told her I'd make sure to get us another room for next time and apologised.
The crèche worker came out and asked if I could look after the toddler for a couple of minutes as she'd had enough of him being so noisy and was going to seek further advice. I told her I was in my lesson still so couldn't sorry.
She said, "I know, but I'll only be a few minutes." And pretty much just walked out anyway so I had to leave my student for a minute and go to the child.
If she asks me again to leave my lesson to do her work again then I'll definitely report it to management.
Anyway I went in and the child was noisy for a few seconds, shrieking. Then, I gave him some fruit and he was fine, completely quiet and eating his fruit.
There's no logic to it, I don't know why he was fine for me.
The woman came back and saw that he was behaving for me. So she kept saying, 'Oh it's only because he doesn't know you that's all."
She said it a few times.
I think she was just pissed that he behaved for me and not her (even though sometimes that just happens) that she thought she'd better put me in my place and make sure I know it's nothing special that I did (even though I never thought it was) anyway puts me off her a bit.

OP posts:
Thedivinyls · 11/08/2022 07:54

I don't have any children, maybe 3 year olds do cry and wail less for strangers? I don't know.

OP posts:
BlueKaftan · 11/08/2022 07:57

It sounds like she was embarrassed and trying to save face. You could have helped her out by agreeing with her and leaving it at that.

ILikeHotWaterBottles · 11/08/2022 07:57

Sounds more like she doesn't know what she's doing, if all it took was feeding him. That's a bit concerning.

Thedivinyls · 11/08/2022 07:58

I did agree with her, well I just said 'yeah' and smiled. She maybe was just a bit embarrassed

OP posts:
WTF475878237NC · 11/08/2022 08:01

She's right in my experience that little ones are often shy around strangers and hold in their feelings until they feel safe a bit. I wouldn't over think it. She felt she needed support or advice urgently and she asked you for a favour that's all.

WTF475878237NC · 11/08/2022 08:02

As for feeding him, you can't feed a child all day to make them behave so I find that an odd reply from a PP who doesn't know the situation at all.

Thedivinyls · 11/08/2022 08:07

Yes maybe, it's just that he was screaming at me too for the first minute until I gave him the fruit.

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PerfectRun · 11/08/2022 08:09

I think she was probably right, children often do behave better for people they don't know, they feel free to "let it all out" with people they know and trust.

You clearly think you did a better job than she did and I daresay that came across to her too.

Thedivinyls · 11/08/2022 08:10

No, as I said above I have no idea why he was quieter for me, I said there's no reason sometimes. And I didn't even say anything when she came back so I'm not sure how that could have come across as me thinking I did better

OP posts:
NCHammer2022 · 11/08/2022 08:10

BlueKaftan · 11/08/2022 07:57

It sounds like she was embarrassed and trying to save face. You could have helped her out by agreeing with her and leaving it at that.

This. I really don’t get how you’ve twisted that into a dig at you.

Thedivinyls · 11/08/2022 08:11

Just as she didn't even say thanks for helping me/disturbing your lesson, anything. Just walked in, looked and then said 'oh it's just because he doesn't know you' nothing else at all

OP posts:
KittenKong · 11/08/2022 08:12

Sounds like she needed to step away from a stressful situation. Kids can be hard work when they are being tricky.

I work in a place with a nursery and often (because they don’t really know me) I will walk into a room of small children who are ‘busy’ and they just stop and stare at me. It’s the novelty value.

clickychicky · 11/08/2022 08:14

Thedivinyls · 11/08/2022 08:11

Just as she didn't even say thanks for helping me/disturbing your lesson, anything. Just walked in, looked and then said 'oh it's just because he doesn't know you' nothing else at all

That's because she was reassuring herself that she's not absolutely shit at her job and you haven't got some sort of midas touch.

It's not a dig at you.

Thedivinyls · 11/08/2022 08:16

Ok fair enough I must have got the wrong impression, thanks

OP posts:
Brefugee · 11/08/2022 08:21

more importantly you should have called her back. What did your student say about this? does the owner of the school think they got value for money on that lesson?

Valeriekat · 14/08/2022 22:16

You should not have left your student.

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