Kids on holiday with his new lady friend

[SukiSock]

I'm trying to work out if I'm being unreasonable or not. My DH and I recently decided to split up. We told the kids last week. They were understandably upset. Two days later DH took them for a holiday away from home. He wanted that they have a good time on their holiday without me which I support (even though it's painful for me) - I want them to have a good relationship with their dad.
But they went to stay his his friend, a woman, who the kids or I have not actually met before, but she is someone that he has told me in the past he wants to have a relationship with. They have been there all week. He says there is no romance right now. I've accused him of damaging our kids by playing happy families with a new mum immediately after telling the kids. He says that he has had chats to the kids and all is fine and I should stop worrying. AIBU?

How old are the kids?

Surely you don't believe his claptrap.

I would hit the fucking roof.

Poor kids must be very conflicted.

My exhusband took our kids to stay with his girlfriend, before we even split up. Apparently because they are his kids he can do what he likes, even if it’s damaging to them. Some men are just utter arseholes

My ex did this although was more like 2-3 months. I wasn’t surprised because I knew he wouldn’t be able to manage the kids alone. Surprise surprise she does the majority of house work and childcare. Even bigger joke he actually thinks he should be having more contact with the children despite barely even being present with the time he has. I’m no perfect parent but have intentionally remained single for for the last 18 months and intend to for at least a couple more years. I think it’s the normal decent thing to do to focus on the children and actually help them process what is a difficult time (when parents separate). You are not wrong!

Goodness me. I'm very much in the 'when you've split up you need to let them move on and have a happy relationship with the new woman being involved with the kids' camp but bloody hell, it's less than a week fgs! The man is an idiot, at least you know you're well rid.

Wow what a wanker. Your poor kids. I would be so confused as a child. I would just want to come back home.

Lying bastard
But you are right, there isn’t much you can do unfortunately

She is the Other Woman.

Do not think that he is stupid, he knew exactly what he is doing.

He is taking the kids round to her house to brainwash them at how wonderful the OW is, and for her to play mum to them. He would have probably left them in her care for a while for alone time to let them bond.

I would read him the riot act.

BUT...use this piece of evidence against him in your custody battle.

There is a lot you can do.

You tell him based on this action which shows he has no common sense and parental responsibility and subjecting your heart broken children to more confusion, from now on 1) The kids are not be taken to any location without you knowing and 2) not allowed to be introduced to new people or anyone that you have not met before.

Put your foot down. Tell him that the kids must have zoom time with them every night. Do it bang in his romantic dinner time. Just give them dad's number to call anytime they want.

Give your kids a phone and tell him you will video chat that phone on the kids arrival, and throughout the day to see them and chat.

To the OP and to his "friend".

He's clearly told his "friend" he's been separated for a while otherwise why would she agree to have his children stay in her house?

@strawberrymelon88 in the UK we don't have custody battles. It's called Child Arrangements, and children from about 8 - but definitely if they are secondary age - have a say in where they live.

Also if the OP is stupid enough to fight with him over this rather than let her children see for themselves their dad is a wanker, it can backfire on her big time.

I can see why you're upset OP but I think it's better not to make a big deal of it.

It doesn't sound like he has introduced this person as anything more than a friend, regardless of what may truly be going on between them, and perhaps she just lives somewhere that was a good location to take the children for a holiday.

It does seem weird to do a holiday with someone they've never even met so soon after the family has split - it would definitely have been better for him to take them somewhere alone.

I would try not to let it get to you too much though and just have a chat with him when he's back about when would be a reasonable time for either of you to introduce a new partner.

What the fuck is wrong with him!

Nooooooo I would be on way down retrieving kids and going straight back home what the actual f**k is he doing!!

He’s taken the kids along on a weeks holiday with his new girlfriend. Quite simply. What an arsehole.