To not care she’s busy?

[TheStarsComeOut]

I have a friend who’s comments about how busy she is are starting to grate a bit.

In one evening she told me twice “me and partner are busy every single Friday night, Saturday day, Saturday night and Sunday day”

… ok? I didn’t ask nor was I suggesting a meet up.

We have two mutual friends and we do the same outing each Christmas and she’s just messaged me saying we need to organise as her diary is so full. When we are having dinner together next week so can easily discuss it then.

It grates because I never have a “I’m busier than you” type competition. It’s like she’s running a race and trying to beat me when I haven’t even participated.

My sil and bil are like this, always going on about what they are doing and how busy they are yet weirdly whenever I suggest a meet up they are usually free 😂 my oldest friend also does it yet when I arrange to meet her she often cancels. I've not cut her off because we have been friends 40 years but I've stopped arranging stuff. She now moans we don't see each other 🙄

I genuinely feel bad for people who are so busy it would be my idea of hell, constant plans, weekends/evenings booked up for the forseeable. I purposefully don’t plan other than around DS for school/hobbies and me working full time. I leave my weekends plan-less and just like to see what happens. I never agree to plans weeks/months in advance unless i HAVE to. I’d say to your friend ‘poor you…i’m off for a few drinks this evening wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could join. Such a massive shame your schedule is too jam-packed’… I also think some people are terrified of having no plans. I think society pushes the idea if you aren’t running around like a headless chicken your not living properly. This could not be further from the truth. People need ‘down-time’ just look at burn-out rates at the moment. Be happy your life is yours and not simply someone running round for/after others!

I think we are in weird times where people think their busyness gives them some kind of elevated 'status'

Same with children's extra curricular activities whereby every child has an activity every evening after school and a further two or three at the weekend.

Do you even like her? Why does it bother you that she’s so busy? It’s no reflection on you and might be true! She’s trying to fit a date in. That’s being proactive and prioritizing the friendship. Not sure what else would make you happy!

I don't think it's fact that she is busy that bothers op I think it's the fact that her friend feels the need to bring it up every 5 minutes. That would lead me to feel like it's a showy off thing.
Just keep laughing it off and saying 'yes we get it you're very busy🤣' when she starts saying it.

It's boastful busyness. 'Look at how energetic, sociable and useful I am! Busy busy busy!'

Some people love to go on about how busy they are.

I work with someone like this. In Departmental meetings we have to go around and give a high level overview of what we are working on. I tend to choose a few things and chat about them. My colleague will go on for AGES about v small things they are working on, give masses of detail and sign about how busy they are. Lol. She never seems to be able to read the room either as people are just rolling their eyes and glazing over 🤣.

Try and let it go over your head. Just go with it. It can only get on your nerves if you let it xx

I’ve got a friend like this. It is boastful in her case - look at how busy and important I am! What she doesn’t realise is that nobody is jealous or her - what she’s up to is mostly boring, routine stuff. I often say I’m just relaxing/doing something quiet and the weekend/don’t have anything special planned and she then lists off a ten point list of all the things she’s doing (including stuff like ‘doing the shopping’ which yes I’m doing too but isn’t really note worthy).

This is an old article but makes some good points.

I have a relative like this, she's exhausting. She's organising a barbecue with only 6 people attending of which I'm 1.

I've had hundreds of messages, suggested dates, confirmed dates, perhaps there will be a problem with date listing problems.

Fuck right off with your barbecue that I'm uninterested in attending, you seem to think you have an interesting and busy life and are super popular, well you're not.