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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why does this annoy me?!

31 replies

Embarras83 · 10/08/2022 14:33

so people who say I did x with my friend. Why does this annoy me? I have two friends who do it a lot.

it could be like ‘I was out with my friend last night and we did x y z’ why not just name your friend? Or no I didn’t go to that concert because I decided to go to cinema with friends and family.

or ‘my friend and I had dinner and a few drinks last night’ why not say your friend’s name?

or we are going away with ‘friends’ or my friend’s son has said he wants X for birthday - well our kids are in the same school so it’s highly likely I’ll know who ‘friend’ is.

I don’t get the reason for the anonymity?

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 10/08/2022 16:36

Do you know their friends? I find it odd and a bit self absorbed when people name the friend and the other person doesn't know who they are. Much more natural to just speak generally imo.

Embarras83 · 10/08/2022 16:38

Well relatively close friends so yes I would probably know their other friends - even if just a name

OP posts:
Carrieonmywaywardsun · 10/08/2022 16:45

It annoys me more when someone says another person's name and idk who they are. It's like name dropping but I have to ask who the person is

BobbitWorm · 10/08/2022 16:47

I understand what you mean. In certain situations the 'my' sounds possessive almost and that gives me the ick.

I knew a girl who was 'best friends' with my stepsister, and she always referred to her as MY friend. So she would use an expression when talking about her like:

"Me and my (heavy emphasis on the 'my') friend are going to the cinema on Saturday"

I thought she sounded silly, jealous and possessive.

Embarras83 · 10/08/2022 16:53

@BobbitWorm i think that’s it. It just yes gives me the ‘ick’ i literally only know these two friends who do it all the time!!

oh I went for a coffee with my friend. Well why you telling me? Or I’ve got a night out with my friends tonight etc so why you telling me if I don’t know your friends and I’m not coming?!

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman2 · 10/08/2022 18:16

Embarras83 · 10/08/2022 15:59

Well sometimes I feel like they’re trying to hide which friend they’re with? But yes I think I’d rather people just say!

But why would they be trying to hide anything? What’s the perceived motivation here? Is it that you think they’re going out with a mutual friend and you’re not invited? If they’re going out with someone you don’t know that well, or at all, I don’t see why you
care. I really can’t imagine your friends sit there carefully rehearsing their answers in their head to avoid naming someone you don’t know from a bar of soap anyway.

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