AIBU Thoughts on this please?

[GreenSpirit]

At the start of our work contract I was given this role which I was carrying out successfully
for 12months prior when another woman joined the team who was then
promised a role would be created to sit above myself and feed up higher up the change…

I obviously argued as I had been carrying out this job role and quite capable of feeding up the chain. A role was just being created to fit her in but I wasn’t going to be push out of the way to accommodate this - this was all sorted after some arguments including a drunken night out! :-(

eventually (3yrs later) we have moved on and amicable with each other. How ever she has been wanting to be friends which I am very much a girl who generally keeps her self to herself with work and when someone has been shi@@y with me I do find it hard to trust them again, but I have gone along with it and would say we are friendly with each other.

Now my role now has taken a whole new level and I have worked extremely hard and smashed it out of the park much to her annoyance I think.

I have notice if I seem to be doing well she will be hot and cold with me ( best bud in front of people off when not) she copies my outfits (sounds pathetic but it is odd!) She plays me down in emails and copies in the boss (like telling me what to do like she has some control or that I am thick) bragging to me when the boss has asked her to do something or has specially called her!, the latest is and which has prompted this thread is I have been told by another colleague she is trying to exclude me from senior meetings..

I am kind of asking for advice really on what to do. I have always thought that it was best to ignore it as she wants a reaction but it is beginning to annoy me but as this is work life I need to be professional.

Advice please?

She was promised a role above you but you argued so she wasn’t then given the role? She has then wanted to be friends but you’ve kept yourself to yourself but you think it’s her that’s been shitty with you, have I got that right?

You forgot the professional sorting it out whilst drunk...

It sounds like you’ve both been the victim of incredibly bad management. She was brought into the team and told that she’d have a particular senior role; you weren’t given the opportunity beforehand to discuss how this would fit in with what you’d been doing and argue the case for the role not being as it was offered. It’s a shame you’ve taken the grievance which should properly have been with your managers or HR out on each other, really.

It might be worth having that conversation with her and with your manager/s: that you got out in the wrong foot and that actually the blame wasn’t with either of you but that you were both misinformed and not included in wider discussion about team structure, and how disappointing it is that this has been the result. Continue to be polite and civil at work, ignore the other colleague who frankly sounds like they’re stirring the pot, and

Is this a leaked script for a new series of The Office? It's full of Brent-isms.

"Copies your outfits"

Hahaha

How did you manage to sort this out by drunk arguments?

Sure Jan

I couldn’t get past the fact that you challenged an organisational structure by arguing and then also arguing whilst drunk

To be honest if I was ‘up the chain’ from you I would be very unimpressed

The beat bit of career advice I got is that your reaction to disappointments is noticed a lot more than anything else you do

You have both been unreasonable and unprofessional

*best bit

Also LOL at sorting a professional issue out on a drunken night out and then going on to say you "need to be professional" 😂

Also honestly didn't understand a lot of what your jobs involve: what does "feed up higher up the change" mean?

TBH it all sounds quite petty and hard to follow, it all seems to be based on your fairly one-sided interpretation of her behaviour. I think you'd struggle to get anyone else in the organisation to take any of this seriously.

Either you tough it out and tolerate it or you look for another job.

Arguing on a drunken night out, seriously, was there hair pulling?

I think you need to do your job and if you think you are not being given the information you need to do that you should raise it in a professional way.

So if you think there is a meeting you should be part of you could send an email along the lines of, "I understand there is a meeting to discuss x, I have been dealing with y and would like to attend both to be updated and contribute. Please could you let me know the details so I can put it in my diary?"

It does all sound unecessarily dramatic and quite unprofessional.