To call the bank / (a solicitor even?)

[54isanopendoor]

My Mother died in May. Just before, she gave me the paperwork for 2 bank accounts she'd opened for my children (I'd had to sign when she set them up). She said 'there is a few hundred in there for each of them, keep them going or close them as you wish'. My Ds will be 18 next month, my Dd is 15. Both Autistic.

My SIL texted me 2 weeks after the death to say she had closed them herself & was 'posting the cheque'. It never arrived. Then she said she would send them 'with your Mum's death cert & some of her ashes'. I live far away. 1 month ago I contacted SIL to say a friend is visiting me & could safely transport the things to me then. Message yesterday: "When I think J is ready to open your Mums ashes I will approach him. I will send it all up together I will let YOU know when that is".
J is my very elderly Dad. He & my Brother are totally under SIL control it seems.

I am tempted to reply something short & anglo saxon. But that wont help.
Can I contact the bank & report that she has not passed on the money & ask them to send me fresh cheques or, will I need the Death Cert / have to trek 350m in person if I do this? I could wait, but I am really annoyed (no doubt her aim!)

'A solicitor' is a foolish idea for a few hundred pounds I realise.
But, there is no end to her nastiness and I am angry.

@KettrickenSmiled
thanks, that is really helpful wording.
I am aware that I am feeling very emotional about this.
I had a complex relationship with my Mum but she was my Mother & her death has hit me really hard. I am having some Counselling to help me process it as I am (now) a single parent Carer to two young people with disablities & I need to stay 'on form' for them. This nonsense from SIL makes it harder to process.

that's why I posted - to try to see whether calling the bank was reasonable & how to respond to SIL as I'm aware that my response may be overly emotive atm.

Speak to the bank, if you had to sign for the accounts to be opened and sil has closed the accounts, is a chance sil has presented herself as you? My oh works in the fraud department of a bank and these things do happen. He's currently at work, otherwise I would have been able to offer a more informed answer.
Sorry for your loss, I hope you get the support you need.

Speak to the bank.
Does your dad have capacity to make a will now?

The accounts are in the DC's names yes not just my Mum's.
I have poa-eqiv for my almost 18 y/o via the DWP as he has little concept of £.
I had accounts for them in my name but they also now have their own savings accounts in their own names & I put as much of their DLA as I can into that for them (all of older childs, most of younger childs but need some for heating etc)

I shouldn't have mentioned the Birth Cert issue as it IS another thread. Someone other than my Dad whose name I was sent to School in & who I thought was my Dad until I applied for my Birth Cert for my passport age 16 has signed the cert. My Mum told various stories over the years re who was Father so who knows. SI made it very clear that Dads estate in due course will go to her & brother & kids.
I imagine it would be hard to fight legally even though my Mum said but never wrote that she 'wanted all 4 grandkids treated the same & your Brother will see you right don't you worry'. Well, that's clearly a joke. But that's another thread.

It's whether I should contact the bank & how to reply to this horrible person.

that's why I posted - to try to see whether calling the bank was reasonable & how to respond to SIL as I'm aware that my response may be overly emotive atm

I think you absolutely have to contact the bank, as said if the accounts had your childrens names on them too, then your SIL should at have been able to do anything with them. Of course she might not have done anything with them and might just be winding you up. Maybe don’t respond to her at all until you’ve spoken to the bank?

My Dad won't make a will. He's mid 80's, not well himself now. He left school at 14 & is basically semi literate & has a massive distrust of 'professionals/lawyers' Just like my Mum did.

This doesn’t sound correct op. If they were in your childrens names the sil or your brother couldn’t simply remove the money. I wonder if there is more than a couple of hundred and sil has banked it lying to get access to the money.

Don’t rely on a cheque or her say how much was in there. You need to see the accounts or your children do.

W

I called the helpline & explained. they advised to attend the local branch of my Mums bank with kids birth certs & they'd see what was going on with the accounts. It's a start. & I'll do that before replying to SIL
Thank you all for helping me think it through. It seems so simple now but when upset about things the mind doesn't work very logically...

I hope you manage to sort out your children’s money OP.

UPDATE:

I spoke to the Bank. It was embarrassing (I felt like I was on a Jeremy Kyle show) but though obviously somewhat surprised, they were kind & helpful.
They were also sufficiently concerned by my SIL getting the cheques issued months ago but not forwarding them that they decided to stop them.
(dont know if they will contact my SIL about this - I shan't bother)

They have been reissued, in my childrens names, & can be paid into their accs.
I'm really pleased. My Mum saved the money for them (it turns out to be £1350, between them) and now they'll receive it. Thks to everyone for advice & support.

If no will the “Intestacy” rules apply
Half the estate goes to the surviving spouse
The rest is divided equally between their children.
Bank accounts for grandchildren were mentioned they needed to be held in trust or that money would go into the estate.

All of this can be redistributed BUT ALL beneficiaries have to agree.

If agreement cannot be made then a court order would be needed to stop distribution, costs of doing that may be more than the money gained.

That's a great update OP and glad your kids got the money owed to them and that your late mum wanted them to have.

OP, I'm glad you had it sorted, well done. Can't believe posters suggested to 'write it off' without knowing anything about your circumstances.

Get them in their accounts without delay before she tries to stop them again !!

So glad it's sorted OP. Sounds grim. But that's a lovely boost to your DC from their DGM

Well done OP that's great news.
So very sorry about your Mums death.
Now you've got the kids money, do you need to have any contact with the nasty sil.....I hope not. 💐

@catandcoffee
SIL was supposed to send the cheques, a copy of my Mum's death cert / medical records (GP has referred me for genetic counselling so might be useful to have medical info but apparantly they 'need it as they're taking the NHS to court...) & some of my Mum's ashes. I'll never get any of it. The kids now have the money my Mum meant for them. I can order the death cert & the HCP at my end might be able to get hold of records if they are needed. The ashes - never mind. No, I won't be speaking to her again. My Dad, yes to see if he is okay. but not my brother or her after the way they've behaved (a lot more to it than this).

@Crazykatie Intestacy doesn't apply as my Mum's estate wasn't worth enough.
Half of the house which my Dad lives in. About 5K in savings & about 5K in a funeral plan. This money for my kids. Nothing else. My SIL has taken command of it all. She has declared that my Dad needs to 'move in with them as he is sad'.
Actually she wants her DD and baby DGC to move into the bungalow. They are beginning to redecorate this week, apparantly. Dad is late 80's & not very with it.
My Brother will simply acquiesce. They barely bothered with my Mum when she was alive & they live 8m away. I'm 350m away & had to write to them to let them know she was so very ill. They are not nice individuals at all.

But anyway, I can 'move on' now. Thanks again all x