Horrible relationship with mother

[beachcitygirl]

I'm going through a horrible time at the moment. Viscious divorce from an abusive ex, my teenage daughter isn't in the best of health & it's almost my sons 40th birthday & he died as a baby.
I've not been sleeping well & struggling to be honest & having to be bright & breezy for my lovely daughter.

My mother couldn't be less interested, that's not a new thing. To be honest I only really understood her when I seen the sopranos. So much of Tony's mum rang a bell.

I suppose I wanted a bit of a handhold & to feel less alone.

So am I being unreasonable to ask if any of you have narcissistic mothers.

I feel so alone & sad at the moment.

No diagnosis, but am pretty convinced my mother has EUPD/BPD.

I am so sorry about your son.
It's small wonder you are losing sleep & ruminating over how things should/could have been, given that what would have been a significant birthday for him is coming up. Or any birthday really - do you find that sleep patterns & mood are usually affected at this time of year?

All this notwithstanding - & I hope it's appropriate to mention this OP - you made me snort with laughter with the Sopranos reference. Just the kind of gallows humour that's needed, with mothers like these!

You are not alone.
It's late, but you'll get more responses when the sleepers are awake again - lucky devils Please also bear in mind how insomnia lowers mood ... you might have a rocky few days, but you will get through it. You will do it for your daughter, & you must do it for yourself too.

I hope DD is soon back in better health, & that your sadness abates.
Feeling alone is a really common thing when a person was badly parented. Have you ever visited the "But we took you to Stately Homes!" threads here? You will find hundreds of women with similar parental woes who are understanding, insightful, full of resource tips, & often funny with it. Crack along there if you can't sleep - you will find support & recognition.

hey there. I'm sorry about your son. I second the advice to look for the 'stately homes' threads lots of advice and support from people can be found there.

I must admit I smiled when you compared your mother to Mrs Soprano, wow she was absolutely dependable in her viciousness wasn't she. But all my sympathies to you entertaining to watch but hell to live with I should imagine.

It sounds like you have a much better relationship with your daughter which is wonderful but it must be worrying that she's not well.

You are not alone.

Echo the replies so far & to say how useful the ‘out of the fog’ website is in helping to understand this type of ‘parenting’ & its impact.

it’s not your fault or anything you did/said to justify your mum’s behaviour. Sticking with the mafia theme ‘it’s business Sonny not personal’ Godfather paraphrase 🧐

Go gently 💐

Thank you so much all 3 of you ❤️ off to stately homes. Needed this xx