to be mightily p****d off with dh

[bambam30]

i am a sahm and so in his head i don't work, however i am fast becoming dissolusioned with everything. I have an 8 yr old ss and a2 year old lo and since i ahd lo i have NEVER had a lie in EVER,not when i've been ill or even just plain tired just never. i am up every single day at 5.30-6 and on on the weekends and school holidays i take full care of ss as well, i have moaned i have shouted i have said i will go on strike all to be promised a lie in once very fortnight for it never to be followede thru.now said husband is upstairs with man flu all sorry for himself that he got to work at lunchtime and moanin that i am in another bad mood and so i said well if you ever helped they are your kids too what would you do if i was in hospital -his answer go to ospital and then you willsee i can do it . i love my ss before any of you think i dont but i never stop and i think it only right i get some help

of course you are not unreasonable. You should get a lie in once a week, and he gets one once a week. His job is out of the house, yours is in the house but is still hard bloody work all the same. None of this once a fortnight rubbish.

You have to put your foot down.

No, not unreasonable at all - and 2 years without a lie in - awful.

I work P/T 3 days a week and my DH thinks that on the other 4 days I am 'off', so I get up with DS most of the time. This was building up resentment in me as I would think 'why can't you just get up' as I seethed out of the room. What I have learnt now however is that to get a lie in I have to request them and be specific (ie: on a Saturday night - tell him that I really want to sleep in tomorrow TO 8.30 - 9 am so will he get up with DS?). When my request is this specific he usually will, but I can never just expect him to get up with DS 'off his own back', as he never will.

Also, when I want a lie in I leave all clothes, toys, breakfast stuff to hand to avoid being disturbed as much as poss.

Good luck

YANBU but MOET is right you have to speel it out to them they don't do planning when it comes to childcare.

Sit him down one day over a coffee or drink & spelit out to him in a jokey manner (albeit through gritted teeth!) that you NEED his help & support & point out the benefits to him in that you'd be less knackered & irritable (true) & that it's important that the kids have some bonding time with him(also true) I got my DH to snuggle on the sofa with them & watch a DVD (luckily he like most of theirs also being childlike!) If he didn't want to watch it I'd say take a paper in & just say "oh look at that" or laugh occasionally with them & they'd be OK!!!! I had to make sure he was no ttoo late to bed the night before or he'd be EXTRA grumpy!!

If you plan your turn AND his turn then he can't complain it's unfair(& if he does then tough)

He actually might find he quite enjoys it!!

thanx all of you after i posted my earlier post i have to admit i was so cross i went upstairs and told him to get out of bed and to go and look after his children cos i was now officially off he was not happy i could hear him moaning about how he works and that i wasn't right and how rubbish i was to have given the kids malted milk biscuits for breakfast[ the first time ever!!!] and then i heard my dss say but she does look after us all the time and i think it well and truly humbled the miserable bugger because not long afterwards he came and said how he was orry and that he will try and be more help and that he felt really bad that his son was able to know better what his brother wanted than him! so maybe ladies he really will try and if not i will go on strike.