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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Could somebody explain why he is doing this and what would you do?

34 replies

E300719 · 08/08/2022 21:29

Hi everyone

For around 4 months I was seeing a guy. He then started being really distant and stop responding to me for a bit. I didn’t see him for a few weeks and didn’t hear a from him.

Fast forward to yesterday and he randomly messaged out of the blue saying he would like to see me today and can he see me at this time. I said I wasn’t free then and he said ‘will have to be another day then’. All this out of no where and was acting like he hadn’t just ignored me for weeks.

I messaged him back a bit and now he has gone to ignoring me again. Why is he doing this? What would you do?

OP posts:
MojoMoon · 08/08/2022 21:31

Why?
He is hoping you will go "oh yes great, just name the time and place, and I am there" and this will be a boost for his ego and make him feel like a Very Big Man.

What should you do?
Nothing. Ignore him. Move on.

Antarcticant · 08/08/2022 21:32

Sorry, OP, I suspect it's nothing more than he felt horny and thought of you. He's clearly moved on but thinks he has you on the back-burner for an occasional shag. I would block him and move on.

Cloverforever · 08/08/2022 21:32

Block him.

Dwrcegin · 08/08/2022 21:33

So because you said you were busy, he is now ignoring you.

Ignore him. Find someone else.

MisgenderedPaul · 08/08/2022 21:33

You should be completely ignoring him, and not messaging him. You are not his priority and you need to move on otherwise he is just going to use you and make you unhappy x

CounterTop · 08/08/2022 21:34

He wants sex.

Chances are the person who was giving it to him when he dropped you is no longer proving it, so he’s sniffing around you again.

Block and move on, OP. He’s a creep.

Essexgalttc · 08/08/2022 21:34

Trust me he is probably just in the mood / lonely

He probably hasn’t bothered with you for the last few weeks because he couldn’t be bothered or was chatting to another woman and now he is bored and wants some attention he has messaged you

Hintofreality · 08/08/2022 21:34

He was bored and fancied a shag, sorry.

CreateIn · 08/08/2022 21:34

He's hoping for sex.

The period he went quiet, he was seeing someone else.

Block & carry on!

CrapBag39 · 08/08/2022 21:35

His latest shag has dumped him and he’s back sniffing around and testing the waters with you. Block him, he’s a user.

Gaveitall · 08/08/2022 21:35

Listen up! Block him. Move on.
Don’t invest another minute of thought about him.
Mumsnet knows best!

Notimeforaname · 08/08/2022 21:37

He wanted some attention and probably sex .He wanted you to jump at the chance.

You should definitely block him. Move on

Egglantina · 08/08/2022 21:41

CounterTop · 08/08/2022 21:34

He wants sex.

Chances are the person who was giving it to him when he dropped you is no longer proving it, so he’s sniffing around you again.

Block and move on, OP. He’s a creep.

This.

lisavanderpumpscloset · 08/08/2022 21:42

Why is he doing this? He's an ass.

What would I do? Black that fucker and move on.

Actually I wouldn't block him, I'd leave him on read every single time for my own amusement

lisavanderpumpscloset · 08/08/2022 21:42

Block*

grayhairdontcare · 08/08/2022 21:43

It was a booty call

Aquamarine1029 · 08/08/2022 21:45

He wants an easy shag. Don't lower yourself by ever communicating with him again. Block and move on.

E300719 · 08/08/2022 22:15

Thank you everyone.

I do agree he met somebody else in that time frame and that hasn’t worked out so he’s back to messaging me. Definitely a user! I actually felt a lot better when he wasn’t contacting me

OP posts:
TommySaid · 08/08/2022 22:23

Because he’s a twat.

Sounds like he has a couple women on the go and messages you when he’s bored and they’re busy.

Don’t let him treat you as a back up option.

De88 · 08/08/2022 22:24

It was just a booty call I'm afraid!

WelliesandWine88 · 08/08/2022 22:25

It's called 'breadcrumbing' and it's a sh*y thing to do. Basically giving the bare minimum effort to keep you as an opinion......

BabyDreamers · 08/08/2022 22:28

He fell out with his gf so messaged you.

waterbotherer · 08/08/2022 22:34

Why did you even reply to him? Confused

PyongyangKipperbang · 08/08/2022 23:01

Attempt at a booty call.

I agree, let the next message from him (and there will be some) stay as "read" but dont reply. Nothing speaks louder than silence.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 08/08/2022 23:26

Why is he doing this?

To quote Blanche Deveraux - “The same reason a dog licks himself. Because he can.”