10 year old gay

[JusticeforSpike]

Last Friday my son came to me whilst I was cooking supper and said “I love you”, then “I want to tell you something”. He then said “I think I like boys”. We had a quick chat, pretty much just saying “that’s cool, love is love, thank you for coming to me” asked for a biscuit and off he went.
My eldest is bisexual (only recently told me as he said he thought I’d be “lovingly extra” about it 🙈) and we’ve always been completely open, but I have to admit how proud I feel about our relationship that he could tell me, wanted to tell me and seems very unbothered about it all. The next day I swear he was walking taller, and was in the best mood I’ve seen him in for months (and he’s generally a really easy going child).

Family, whilst outwardly supportive have all said “he’ll probably grow out of it”. I mean yeah, he might, but equally what does it matter. It’s how he feels at the moment. He’s told me, he’s told his friends. Why should there be an assumption that he doesn’t know his own mind? (He asked me to tell family)

AIBU to find that comment (literally every family member has replied with) unnecessary?

(as an aside does anyone have any good, age appropriate books for a 10 year old. Fiction and non fiction welcome)

I just read that back and my post infers that I think he’ll “change his mind”. To be clear, I don’t think he will.

Family, whilst outwardly supportive have all said “he’ll probably grow out of it” tell them that's really rude?

I think the problem with the "he'll probably grow out of it" comments is that people wouldn't say that if he thought he liked girls. So it feels possibly homophobic, but at the very least heteronormic.

YANBU, if he’s happy and you’re fully supportive, it does feel a bit unnecessary yes. I know I certainly didn’t ‘grow out of it.

It’s a bit strange to be discussing a child’s confidential conversation with other people surely? Unless it’s just your DP? Regardless of whether he does or does not change the people who know will remember and treat him differently even if they are very accepting.

Don’t worry, I didn’t get that from your OP. You sounds like a really supportive mum. You probably know him better than anyone @JusticeforSpike. My mum said she knew when I was 5, despite all the ‘she’ll grow out of it’ comments, and she was definitely right!

Yup.

But I also agree with PP, why are you discussing it with your family? Did they ask you to?

OP. He may be slightly young for it but the heartbreaker graphic novel? My son read it when he was almost 13 but I know 10-12 is a big shift.

ignore anyone who says “he’ll grow out of it”. Maybe he’ll feel differently. Maybe he won’t. Maybe he will thing he’s straight till he’s 50 then come out.

the main thing is you have a supportive immediate unit which it sounds like you do.

FWIW my son came out at 12/13 and the conversation was pretty much the same as yours except I told him it didn’t matter as he wasn’t allowed to move out and leave me as he’s my favourite and my best (he told me I was the most cringe)

Yes, he asked me to let them know. I absolutely wouldn’t have done if he hadn’t said to.

Thank you. I’ll have a look and see if it’s age appropriate or if he’s a bit young.

I’ve recently read “Date me Bryson Keller” which is a LGBTY (forgive me if the letters are wrong, but you get my point) book for YA. It’s very tame. The characters snog. I would let my mature, possibly lesbian, DD10 read it. It’s actually lovely. I also think heartstopper would be ok for the romantic storyline but not for other stuff. They allude to doing stuff other than kissing when they are older, but that’s it. But it does contain mental health and anorexia storylines, including self harm, in books 3 and 4.

sorry meant to type a Q not Y!

The book Small Town Pride by Phil Stamper is aimed at younger teenagers, so that might be worth checking out.