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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to not sell my house now?

147 replies

househorror · 08/08/2022 19:21

So, got the going price for my house, about £10k under, but it has taken a long time to sell and I'm very happy with the price. So my AIBU is here...

I have spent the last 3 years all - through Covid, doing my house up. It looks fabulous, really nice. All the carpets follow through in the same colour to the upstairs, all the hard floors match in Karndean. The whole house is a neutral pallette etc etc. The bathroom was cheap but white and well put in.
So, I have just found out from the EA (a friend vaguely knows her) that the prospective buyers intend to rip stuff out and put their signature on it. I mean, I have literally spent thousands on doing the house up, and I do not want to sell it to someone who is going to gut it.

AIBU in pulling out of the sale. Its very early doors, they have only just put in for a survey

OP posts:
FOTTFSOFTFOASM · 08/08/2022 22:20

@Outlyingtrout makes a very good point about the buyers, too.

FOTTFSOFTFOASM · 08/08/2022 22:21

@househorror you've never started a thread about M&S, have you?

IrisVersicolor · 08/08/2022 22:26

It sounds like you’re not ready to move on from this house yet and want to enjoy your renovations.

Its like Love It or List It - you’d prefer to Love It for the moment.

(The advice to tart it up was bad, beyond tidying things up it’s not worth putting in new kitchen or bathrooms as buyers may want their own style.)

Lalliella · 08/08/2022 22:27

I would feel the same as you OP. My parents reluctantly moved house to a bungalow and had a beautiful marble omega shaped fireplace in their old house that the new people ripped out. We were all heartbroken. Also, I hate waste and the environmental impact of actions like this. Bin those buyers off.

BarbaraofSeville · 08/08/2022 22:27

househorror · 08/08/2022 22:14

@BarbaraofSeville you seem a tad jealous of my buys. Get a decent job like me and you can afford Magnet and Karndean 🤷‍♀️

Not jealous at all and I have a decent job thank you. I can afford Magnet and Karndean but I don't see the point of paying so much for something that doesn't last any longer than much cheaper alternatives. I live in a house of 20 to 30 year old Ikea furniture that I'd quite like to fall apart so I could justify replacing it (on environmental grounds, to be clear).

I wasn't the one who did my house up with premium branded goods because I couldn't think of anything better to do during covid only to complain on selling the house that the buyers want to do something that's very common and of no consequence to me.

IrisVersicolor · 08/08/2022 22:29

BarbaraofSeville · 08/08/2022 22:27

Not jealous at all and I have a decent job thank you. I can afford Magnet and Karndean but I don't see the point of paying so much for something that doesn't last any longer than much cheaper alternatives. I live in a house of 20 to 30 year old Ikea furniture that I'd quite like to fall apart so I could justify replacing it (on environmental grounds, to be clear).

I wasn't the one who did my house up with premium branded goods because I couldn't think of anything better to do during covid only to complain on selling the house that the buyers want to do something that's very common and of no consequence to me.

Show quote history

Magnet and Karndean are very mid market, we’re not talking Tom Howley and Fired Earth here.

Cantthinkofausername01 · 08/08/2022 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Cantthinkofausername01 · 08/08/2022 22:30

Oh and then sends you loads of photos!

Elsiid · 08/08/2022 22:32

I hated our Karndean. That would be the first thing I'd replace.

I've never bought a house and not changed things tbh.

Darbs76 · 08/08/2022 22:33

Well at first read it’s a bit barmy but after reading your comments I can understand that you put your heart and soul into it and don’t want to see all that hard work ripped out needlessly. Everyone has their own tastes but I think if you can afford to sit tight and it means a lot to you then go for it

Original poster
househorror · 08/08/2022 22:33

Outlyingtrout · 08/08/2022 22:08

So it's about environmental concerns is it?

Was the kitchen in a dire state and no longer fit for purpose? Did it genuinely need replacing or did you just replace it and do all the other decorating because you hoped you would make some extra £££? If it was genuinely in need of replacement, it seems strange that it took someone else to talk you into this.

It's unlikely they would bin the kitchen, by the way. It would almost certainly be sold on the second hand market and go to good use elsewhere.

If you had genuine environmental concerns you wouldn't have done the work and risked the (high) chance that a new owner would want to re-do at least some of it. You've done it because you saw a chance to make some dosh. It's what loads of people do when they're selling up. It's a weird one to fib about.

I have total sympathy with your buyers who have done nothing wrong but are about to be really messed around by you. It's such an incredibly stressful time anyway and they may well have missed out on other properties that have come and gone while they've been committed to this sale. There might be financial repercussions for them (rent?) if they are now back to square one with a purchase but their own house is sold. It's just so shitty to make this more stressful than it needs to be for people.

To answer: Old kitchen went to friends doer upper .
Flooring was Quickstep which was in good nick and given away on Facebook marketplace. Likewise the kitchen floor. Someone else had my bathroom bits - tiles were binned as broken off wall. Old carpet from stairs went to garden room as ok ish.

As I said, doing up was a project for me while furloughed in Covid. I used the time off to do something to stop me going batshit crazy for 18 months +
It's not the money, it's the time, effort and environmental issues I have issue with.

OP posts:
dizzydizzydizzy · 08/08/2022 22:34

YABU. Selling a house is a business transaction. Remove your emotions from the process, OP. They are getting in the way.

BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 · 08/08/2022 22:37

So it's ok for you to renovate but not your buyers? How do you know they're not going to recycle the components they want to replace? You're completely bananas. I hope they haven't spent any money on surveys and the like yet. You deserve to find yourself with a reputation with the local EA's for pulling out for such a ridiculous reason.

Samanabanana · 08/08/2022 22:37

Anyone else desperate for the Rightmove link so we can have a nosy? Grin

OP, I get it that you put blood, sweat and tears into your home and it's sad to think someone is going to come along and throw all your hard work away like it was nothing. But people love to put their own stamp on their new homes, or else you're just living with someone else's tastes. And I find that weird, like you're living in a shrine to the previous occupant!

HelloThereObiWan · 08/08/2022 22:38

I'm cracking up at the idea that Magnet is something fancy. It's pretty high street stuff isn't it? If it was Harvey Jones I could understand your sentiment...

Candleabra · 08/08/2022 22:38

In the nicest possible way, you sound absolutely crazy!
Either you want to sell it or you don’t.
Your buyers can do what they like to the house when it’s their house. As you have done things to your taste when it’s your house.

You can’t dictate what people do to the house in the future. The only way to do that is to keep the house. Which is an option. It sounds like you’re in two minds about selling anyway.

Original poster
househorror · 08/08/2022 22:40

It's not about the money. I have enough and don't need to make more before I shuffle off this mortal coil. If a lovely young family offered 10k less than these clowns I would take it. I didn't do it for the !money! I did it to stop going crazy in Covid. I've lived with it for a decent amount of time and now I need to move smaller but I can also wait! Sorry if that offends people.

OP posts:
StaunchMomma · 08/08/2022 22:41

Sorry, OP BUT I think you're being really precious.

You were advised to 'tart it up' to get a sale, you got the sale, what happens after they've moved in is literally none of your business.

Original poster
househorror · 08/08/2022 22:43

Samanabanana · 08/08/2022 22:37

Anyone else desperate for the Rightmove link so we can have a nosy? Grin

OP, I get it that you put blood, sweat and tears into your home and it's sad to think someone is going to come along and throw all your hard work away like it was nothing. But people love to put their own stamp on their new homes, or else you're just living with someone else's tastes. And I find that weird, like you're living in a shrine to the previous occupant!

I will try to work out how to do it! I'm not that great at IT. Give me a minute

OP posts:
StaunchMomma · 08/08/2022 22:44

househorror · 08/08/2022 22:40

It's not about the money. I have enough and don't need to make more before I shuffle off this mortal coil. If a lovely young family offered 10k less than these clowns I would take it. I didn't do it for the !money! I did it to stop going crazy in Covid. I've lived with it for a decent amount of time and now I need to move smaller but I can also wait! Sorry if that offends people.

Oh do come oooon, OP!

We all did loads of DIY during Covid. It doesn't mean everyone has to like what we did!

Loads of buyers automatically rip up carpets and paint every room just so it feels fresh and new when they move in. It's not about offending the previous owner, it's about making the place their own.

You're being really OTT about this.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 08/08/2022 22:47

So you’re going to do sweet Fanny Adams to the place you’re going to buy then?

Original poster
househorror · 08/08/2022 22:51

I'm buying offplan and new so I will choose everything myself

OP posts:
1VY · 08/08/2022 22:51

I’m obviously the only person on MN who understands how the Op feels. I will be the same when I comes to selling my one house, which I will have to do in about 5 years.

BTW I know it’s irrational …..

IrisVersicolor · 08/08/2022 22:55

Candleabra · 08/08/2022 22:38

In the nicest possible way, you sound absolutely crazy!
Either you want to sell it or you don’t.
Your buyers can do what they like to the house when it’s their house. As you have done things to your taste when it’s your house.

You can’t dictate what people do to the house in the future. The only way to do that is to keep the house. Which is an option. It sounds like you’re in two minds about selling anyway.

People do this all the time: list house, accept offer, pull out - because they don’t want to sell yet - too attached to house, or would sell for the right price but don’t get it, or commonly can’t find somewhere they like enough to want to move to etc.

IrisVersicolor · 08/08/2022 22:56

Also - sometimes buyers accept lower offers from people who want to keep house as it is.