to feel terrible for getting drunk

[Piggieinthemiddle]

DH and I have been TTC for nearly a year. We had his brother's birthday party on Saturday and I got my period that morning. I was even more disappointed than usual, as I really felt this might be the month, but life goes on.

I have been very much not drinking the whole time we've been TTC, but I really could not face the "Anything to tell us?" from his family (who are all big drinkers) as I went along to another event and refused a glass of wine, so I decided I was going to have a couple of drinks. I ended up having a gin and tonic (which I think was probably a double) and two large glasses of red wine, and being used to not drinking at all I ended up pretty drunk.

DH assures me that I did not embarrass myself in any way in front of his family, but I ended up crying on the train on the way home, and was horrible to DH when we got in, having a go at him for not understanding how disappointed I am about not being pregnant. He was so understanding the next morning, which made me feel even worse.

Apart from feeling so guilty about my behaviour, I am now terrified I have jeopardised my chances of getting pregnant. Or, even worse, I am now worrying that I could be pregnant in spite of the period and have now gone and got drunk. One of the reasons I was hopeful for this cycle was I thought I had been feeling sick a couple of mornings, so my mind is in overdrive.

AIBU to feel so terrible about this? DH says I don't need to and I am overreacting, but I haven't mentioned my worries about actually being pregnant. I just feel so cross with myself.

You sounds really anxious. Not about being drunk, but generally. I wouldn't worry about the drinking, but I would consider whether you are in a good space mentally atm. TTC can be tough.

We're you singing "the Rose of tralee" in the street? Calling complete strangers your best mate? Flashing your knickers? No. Relax.

You have the fear, the day after panic you’ve behaved badly. You haven’t. You were fine and emotional to dh. You haven’t jeopardised pregnancy. Forget it and most importantly forgive yourself for a perfectly human reaction

Booze fear

Stop it op
Breathe

You know what, OP? I did exactly that, for exactthe same reasons as you, when we'd been TTC for what seemed like ages. I was much drunker than it sounds like you were! I was embarrassed about it for a couple of days and then it was forgotten. The next cycle I got pregnant with dd. You haven't jeopardised anything at all!

I can only echo this.

It's beer fear. You haven't done anything to jeopardise your chances of getting pregnant.

You've been sober a whole year?! Bloody hell. Sounds like you needed to let your hair down. I promise the odd drink is going to make no difference to your eggs and fertility. Probably more important your DP is the one cutting down as sperm can actually be improved...

Chill op.

You drinking that night would have absolutely zero effect on you trying to get pregnant, but your anxiety and stress levels definitely could. You really need to relax and try to enjoy life while trying to get pregnant.

I have been very much not drinking the whole time we've been TTC

Why? You can still have fun and enjoy yourself when you're trying to get pregnant.

3 drinks will make no difference to TTC.

You need to relax a bit, don't give yourself such a hard time.

You have The Fear OP, it will pass! I had a dreadful bout of it after the Platinum Jubilee weekend.

It took me almost two years ttc and I was unbearably frustrated by it for the final 18 months. The month we did actually conceive was the month I got out of my head on gin with my sister on the Saturday and I got my positive test the following Friday so I must have unknowingly given my little embryo a gin bath. I thought I couldn’t have children so took to doing whatever I fancied. From what I’ve seen, the mother and baby don’t share a blood supply for a little while anyway so it wouldn’t really matter. Obviously, once I was aware I was pregnant, I didn’t have anything else to drink until my baby was born. She’s turned out better than fine :-)

Nope, you’ve done nothing wrong.

Hope your day has got better x

Yes. You were rude to DH and he’s been nice, it’s not about you. Make it up to him.

people drink and still get pregnant. You didn’t get pregnant whilst drunk on your period. If you did, it would be fine. You had 3 drinks. Plenty of people drink plenty more.

you need to concentrate on relaxing, being stress free, happy. I know that’s easier said than done, but that is all just as important as what you eat and drink, so try to take some time for yourself and be less hard on yourself. You deserve to feel good and even if you feel like you don’t you’re not just doing it for you

Drinking does not stop you from getting pregnant.

Even if you had been in the early stages of pregnancy, it would still have been fine and a couple of drinks wouldn't have caused any problems.

You've had a stressful time, TTC is getting to you and you got tipsy and had a bit of a meltdown. Obviously it's not ideal that you were horrible to your DH but it seems he totally understands that it was just the booze talking. Don't worry about it for another second.

As others have said, I think you really need to try to relax. Do you struggle with anxiety normally?

Don't worry
Most of us didn't know we were pregnant at one point and had a skinful. I know I did when expecting my very unplanned third. He will be a heavy whisker drinker

I also had a colonoscopy - babies are very robust

Thank you so much everyone for the reassuring words! It’s really made me feel better. I certainly won’t be touching the booze for a while, but it’s also good to hear so many people say that having a drink whilst TTC is okay, as I have been taking the NHS advice to give up as gospel. I will definitely be considering a (small!) glass of wine with meals once I have forgotten how awful my hangover was.

Interestingly, I am definitely not usually an anxious person (DH is the worrier in our relationship), so I definitely need to chill out as posters have told me!