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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be sick of feeling so uncomfortable getting a taxi?!

20 replies

Suuuugar · 08/08/2022 12:31

Is it just me or are some taxi drivers getting creepy as f@%*?!

I decided I would stop getting taxis on my own a year or so a go, as I just had too many incidents where I was left feeling incredibly uncomfortable and sometimes, genuinely scared.

It doesn't seem to be much better when travelling with other women though. For example, I was with my teen dd in a taxi last night and straight away, the endless, inappropriate questions begin.

"Are you sisters?...Where do you girls like to go out?.... Are you married?..... How long have you lived in your house?" And so it went on. Honestly, WTF?!

A couple of years a go, this driver clearly took great pleasure in scaring me. Was telling me how his friend (also taxi driver) had been accused of groping a customer and he went into detail about the accusations and then told me how you can't trust some women, as they make things up and some will offer sexual favours if they're out of money. He started driving erratically and didn't seem to care that I had stopped engaging with him. Just kept going on and on and I could see him smirking in the mirror.

That was far from an isolated incident, so I'm wondering if I've just been unlucky or if this is just fairly standard now.

I resent how uncomfortable I am. I hate finding myself planning an escape and that sheer relief when I get out safely.

I honestly do believe that a lot of these men get a kick out of scaring women and girls and it sickens me.

I'm certainly not saying that all taxi drivers are like this. Absolutely not, but I've just had too many bad experiences not to wonder what on earth is going on!

OP posts:

SpindleTurning · 08/08/2022 12:36

Always, always take the badge number and report the fuckers. The Licensing Dept will look into it.

And yes, I've had this crap and hate getting cabs as a consequence, because you just don't know what sort of driver you're going to get. Sounds harsh, but I've had some horrible rides. I had one driver lock the doors once while he finished his story of how his brother was involved in an armed robbery. Black hackney as well.

Original poster

Suuuugar · 08/08/2022 12:42

@SpindleTurning I'm sorry, that sounds terrifying.

I would report, but I'm worried about my identity being disclosed and given my home address is usually given, it seems a bit risky.

OP posts:

SpindleTurning · 08/08/2022 12:51

Yeah it was pretty grim. Eventually I blurted out something about seeing my boyfriend in the window of the flat getting impatient for me to get inside, and he unlocked the doors. It's not a scenario you really plan for, is it?!

It was along time ago but never forgotten.

MostlyHappyMummy · 08/08/2022 12:54

I learnt to drive just to avoid taxi drivers
Husband can no longer drive so used taxis and says drivers are mostly awful, obviously not sexually creepy as he's a middle aged man
But rant on about conspiracy theories and happily share their racist and misogynistic views with him
can't understand it why they behave this way

Glenthebattleostrich · 08/08/2022 13:03

yeah, to many bad incidents to recall!

One discussing flashing in great detail in front of my then 8 year old.

One having a loud sweary argument on his mobile, including threatening to "rape the fing c". again in front of my then 8 year old

One telling me that the world's problems are caused by feminists and we just need a good seeing to.

Another telling me how his cousin was involved in "the daft bother" in Rotherham and how the girls are begging for it anyways.

That's without the dangerous driving, generally shit attitudes and overcharging.

Oh and yes, every one of them was reported to the local authorities (and police on a couple of occasions)

Luckily we now have a firm run by a couple of blokes who employ a few women drivers because so many women are to scared to get in a taxi with men. Unfortunately it's tiny and only has 4 staff in total so hard to get a taxi and you need to book a weekend weeks in advance.

TommySaid · 08/08/2022 13:16

YABU 99% of the taxi drivers I’ve met have been nothing but lovely.

The questions he was asking like are you sisters and where do you like to go out etc are absolutely fine and as a women I’d think nothing of asking those questions.

I think we are getting so used to not having conversations with strangers that when they start conversations up we think that it’s weird and there must be some bad intent behind it.

Some taxi drivers are knobs but it’s not because they’re taxi drivers they’re just men who are knobs but drive a taxi and so you’re more likely to speak to them.

There’ll be just as many working in factories, shops, hospitals etc but as you don’t often have a conversation with them so you don’t know they’re knobs.

whosaidtha · 08/08/2022 13:17

This is why I like Uber. I have the name and license of the driver. Plus an eta which I send to my husband. I think they are less likely to try anything when they know you have all their info.

AtrociousCircumstance · 08/08/2022 13:18

Use Uber. The drivers are named and the route is recorded. You can give them a rating afterwards.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 08/08/2022 13:22

I regularly get cabs and have never experienced anything like this!

ArtixLynx · 08/08/2022 13:26

YANBU.. but its the same here, unless i can get a female driver, i'm not using them, ever.

CulturePigeon · 08/08/2022 13:27

Totally agree! I thought it was just me...

I've always done anything I could to avoid taking taxis, and not just because of the expense. I find the whole thing excruciatingly embarassing for some reason - probably the ones you've described, in fact!

I don't know how much to talk to them, where to put myself, how much to tip, when to offer the tip etc etc.

I once had a taxi to take me to a and e(doctor said I wasn't allowed to drive) and I ended up telling the driver all about my medical condition. I didn't exactly volunteer it out of nowhere, but he asked and I just blathered on. So embarassing...

London taxis are the most professional, I think,but minicabs....hmmm. I've had some not very nice drivers who immediately start 'testing the water' in various ways - eg with slightly, very slightly racist overtones etc. Not all, I'm sure, but I avoid if I can because they can be absolutely anyone - no professional test/exams like the black cabs.

Original poster

Suuuugar · 08/08/2022 13:30

@TommySaid those questions are not ok. They may look fairly innocet written down, but as women, we know when a man is innocently asking a question or if there's something else going on. This driver was definitely trying to make us uncomfortable. It was one question after the next. Personal questions. Not just day to day chit chat.

OP posts:

makingmiracles · 08/08/2022 13:30

One tip would be to stand in front of the car and take a picture that inlcudes the license plate and msg it to a friend or dp with estimated eta

i rarely use taxis as I have a car, but one night I had to take dc to a miu around 20miles from where I live, then we were ambulance transferred to a major hospital around 1hr drive from where I live-the car was left at the miu.

the large hospital discharged us, me and dc(4) at 3am, we only had one car so dp couldn’t collect us so I rang for a taxi. When the taxi arrived the driver was of a different ethnic origin to myself and as we left the city we were chatting small talk, he said go to sleep if you want….uh no! In a taxi at 3am with an unknown male and my young dc…..not a bloody chance!! His comment may well have been totally innocent but it made me feel uncomfortable.

Original poster

Suuuugar · 08/08/2022 13:31

Oh and totally agree about Uber. Never had an issue with them.

OP posts:

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 08/08/2022 13:36

makingmiracles · 08/08/2022 13:30

One tip would be to stand in front of the car and take a picture that inlcudes the license plate and msg it to a friend or dp with estimated eta

Wtf does it matter if he's 'a different ethnic origin'??????!

MiauzenKatzenjammer · 08/08/2022 13:41

When the taxi arrived the driver was of a different ethnic origin to myself and as we left the city we were chatting small talk, he said go to sleep if you want….uh no! In a taxi at 3am with an unknown male and my young dc…..not a bloody chance!! His comment may well have been totally innocent but it made me feel uncomfortable.

Sounds like he was just being considerate. And what has his ethnic origin got to do with anything?

Piggieinthemiddle · 08/08/2022 13:48

We are fortunate that we have Uber where I live, and that feels a lot safer than other options, but I still prefer public transport when that is available. However, I have had arguments with my husband about taking taxis/ubers. Because public transport includes walking or waiting at a bus stop, he thinks it’s safer for me to get a taxi if I’m by myself at night, whereas I think getting into a stranger’s car is much more risky. There is no option where I feel 100% safe though.

Trivester · 08/08/2022 13:50

It’s100% unacceptable.

I don’t think it’s a new thing- that and harassment on buses is why learning to drive and keeping a car on the road is a high priority for me. And I know it’s a huge privilege to be able to do that.

I had lots of strategies but we shouldn’t need to invent waiting husbands, have imaginary phone conversations or say loudly “call me when you’re home” when we put our friends in taxis.

In Ireland in the 90s, before deregulation, it was common knowledge that criminal cartels dominated the taxi business.

SickofGrey · 08/08/2022 13:54

I avoid taxis by myself. In the past I've had creepy comments eg on getting home at 3am driver says can you put the kettle as I'd like to come in. I didn't complain as he knew where I lived. I think it's a power trip for some or some sort of ego massage. Oh I've got a lone woman in my vehicle, she's going to have to answer my intrusive questions as she's in my car. I can watch her squirm with my questions/ make her feel uncomfortable/unsafe just for kicks.

Original poster

Suuuugar · 08/08/2022 16:54

@SickofGrey oh yes, definitely a power trip. It's so depressing how common this is.

OP posts:

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