To cancel my child's birthday party?

[loopyloulous]

Ok...I've never had this before and it's stressing me out. I have 3 dc and this is for my youngest who is turning 4 and it's stressing me out!

I handed invitations out on the last week of term. The party is on the first weekend in September and therefore had to hand invites out before the end of term. My guess is that invited have been put in the child's bags and either not been seen or forgotten about.

I've contacted my sons pre school manager who assured me all invites were handed out. I don't have any contact details for the parents unfortunately, it's just a waiting game.

So far I've had 5 responses out of 19. Only 4 children can come so far.

Tomorrow I have to let the children entertainer know if the party is going ahead or not and pay the deposit.

The party is going to cost around £400. £200 for the entertainer, then the villlage hall, food and party bags on top of that.

Here's what I think are my options:

Keep the party going, I could get more rsvps later on and try bump numbers up by inviting my older dcs friends. Which my younger dc loves! But equally a lot of the kids he wants to come will not be there.

Cancel the party and just do something at home for the kids that can come now.

Push the party back and re send invites for when they go back to school.

Unless any of you other Mumsnetters can think of another option? What would you do?

It's really frustrating, to be fair I didn't put a date to rsvp but I did put asap.

I probably sent invites out too early but as the party is before back to school, I really had no option.

For a 4 year old party, I would cancel and have a smaller party at home with the 4 who have RSVP'd. That age group get overwhelmed quite easily and imo he'll find that just as enjoyable as a larger party.

For next year (your DC's 5th birthday), I'd push the party back a couple of weeks to mid/end September and send out the invitations on the first day back at school, giving until the end of the week to RSVP.

I would go ahead or you run the risk of loads of confused parents and kids turning up to an empty village hall!
Have the older kids available as back up. Next year should be easier as primary school will probably have Facebook pages/WhatsApp groups and you'll know more parents. Also I would do the party a bit later and send the invites out after the holidays.

Yes definitely lesson learnt not to send out invites in the summer again!

But how can you cancel if you haven't anyone's contact details?
Everyone might rock up to the village hall and no-one will be there!

I wouldn’t cancel, you can still have a lovely party with a smaller number of kids, maybe lose the entertainer to reduce costs (I’ve never come across one at a 4 year olds party before), just have a bouncy castle, balloons, music, do a few party games and then party food? Those that attend will still have a fab time and your 4 year old will hopefully love it.

I have a DC who’s bday is in the school summer hols too. For future years I’d recommend you either book the party before the school hols or several weeks after school hols so you can send the invites out teen time. Invites sent so close to end of term get lost or the parents forget to rsvp as september feels so far away. You’ll also get parents who’ve said yes but forgotten about it by Sept.

if you go ahead with the party as planned definitely send a reminder to every child on first day of term so people don’t forget. I think you probably will get good attendance in Sept but peoples minds are on other things for now so you’re not likely to get rsvp’s until first week of term

*term time

my DCs birthdays fall in one or other school holiday. I stopped giving invitations to parties, and did family stuff on the day and a catch up party when school started again.

Can you ask those who have already responded if they have other parents contact details?

There's not much I can do if they haven't replied. The invites do state to rsvp asap.

Yes I've done that just now. Fingers crossed they do!

Lots of people won’t of emptied the school bags if it was near the end of term.
I Chuck my kids under the stairs and empty it a day before they go back in sept

I would do this.
or ask a parent I’m friendly with if they have any of the other parents’ numbers, and then send them a text, and gradually get the word out.
people are so rude, so sorry for you.
don’t cancel if you’re sure there will be at least six kids I reckon.

@anotherscroller yes I've just literally done this. I've asked every parent who can come if they know other parents im waiting on responses for. Fingers crossed.

We had an invite for an early September invite that was in DS's bag on the last day of term. I stuck it on the side and only remembered to reply this weekend so you may get some more replies yet.

If I was you I would do a smaller party at home with those that have RSVP'd and anyone who RSVP's between now and the party. If anyone who hasn't bothered to RSVP turns up at the original venue then serves them right for not bothering to respond!

This happened to me. I invited the whole class and out of 30 invitations only 2 replied, and one of those was ‘not sure yet’. On the day 19 turned up. I think there is a risk of parents forgetting as it’s so long away. I know class WhatsApp’s are frowned upon on here, but I’d consider starting one and adding the parents you do know, then they can add the parents that they know etc and hopefully you’ll be able to get hold of most people

This. Save your money for a family day trip somewhere special.

We are doing this when youngest turns 5 soon.

My child has an invite for a party first weekend of september send out the week they broke up I can't rsvp yet as I don't know scheduals yet there may be a lot of people in this same position who will reply closer to the time

I have a similar issue OP! 4 year olds party is this coming Saturday, invites handed out before end of term. I’ve had maybe half reply (a couple have said they can’t attend) but no way of chasing up those who haven’t replied. I believe some are intending to come as I’ve spoken to one or two parents in person who have mentioned it.

As back up I’ve invited a few extra kids from outside of nursery (friends children) and some family. I’m sure there will be enough children for him to play and have a great time. But next year we’re having a weekend away!!

How do you cancel if you don't have contact details? It's still 3 weeks until the party. I would invite other kids to make up the numbers