Do you ever feel a little inadequate from social media

[Watermelonsugarhii]

I don't care at all about him now but I saw the woman who a guy I was seeing left me for's Instagram (sorry that was a little long winded)
She's been to every continent, and basically to every famous site/landmark there is, Machu Picchu and so on.
So many pictures of her doing all these 'crazy' adventurous activities, ziplining, mountain climbing, and so on.
Apparently stayed in all these hostels and made 6 million friends.
I mean she's just an example, but has this ever made anyone feel a bit inadequate?
I've worked in 2 other countries and I'm going on my first ever trip to the US this year. I'm also dual nationality and have family in another European country.
I know it's not a case of how many countries you've visited, more what sense of adventure you have and how sociable you are, maybe.
I couldn't ever afford to go travelling for months on end, as I'm sure a lot of people couldn't.
You see it so much on OLD, everybody wants someone who 'loves travelling' 'the outdoors' 'adventurous' and so on. I'm not saying it's why the guy cheated on me, but he was clearly very impressed by her

Nope. Why would you follow someone who makes you feel shit about yourself?

Yes, which is why I quit Facebook. Best thing I ever did!!

Yes, which is why I quit things like Facebook and Instagram. Took up time and kept me in a comparison funk. Now I procrastinate spend time on MN.😁

No, I don't.

No, I assume they are full of shit.

Insta influencers are selling a lifestyle. It's just a permanent advert.
She might have lots of followers but they are not friends.

#blessed

Don’t torture yourself.

just don’t

I quit Instagram and Facebook after losing twins in April because of the pregnancy announcements and baby photos.

I would suggest unfollowing anyone who’s posts make you feel sad and reminding yourself that not everything you see online is real and people may be unhappy behind their photos and screens

My main emotion would be mild puzzlement that she chooses to document her travels in such detail to strangers. I use Instagram, but I have nine followers, all close friends or family, and I probably post a few times a month.

No, but then I'm just following friends really, not anyone who's making a big deal of their aamaaaazing life or is trying to be an influencer or anything.

No, never. I know that most of social media is BS. My friend is in an incredibly abusive relationship but on Instagram her life looks perfect. You are seeing the best of everyone else’s day on SM and a snapshot at that

Like others, yes, and this is why I quit Facebook for a few months. I'm back on it now, but unfollow people who make me feel like that, visit infrequently and rarely post.

I have deliberately never joined Instagram or any other social media. Can't miss what I've never had?!

Personally, being on social media contributed to me feeling worse about myself - appearance, friendships, career wise. Leaving was the right decision - I have never looked back and do not care about the updates I am missing on peoples lives.

Before social media, women's glossy mags had a similar effect. If be feeling quite happy, fancy sitting with a magazine and a cuppa (I now sound ancient) and by the time I was done, I felt crap, fat, boring, poor etc. After a while I realised the 'interesting articles' were wrapped up in so much comparison fodder it wasn't worth it.
Social media does the same.
In reality even if this woman is equally impressed with that guy and they become an item for ever and ever in happy bliss the fact is that their relationship would probably have elements in it which would be intolerable to you and you would not be happy.

I think of it as chocolate is delicious and amazing, and curry is delicious and amazing, but together - it doesn't work.
You will be your most happy if you can find the strawberries to your chocolate instead. When you find that person that perfectly complements you you will be much happier.
Let curry and poppadoms do their thing and comparing is Soul destroying so avert your gaze (not easy on this goldfish bowl world)

I presume jealousy is the main reason people say they hate Facebook.
Special subset are people who refused to ever join Facebook because "they're all so vain on there!" or (my elderly parents) "There are lots of manipulative stalking crazy people on there who will try to bring you into professional disrepute."
Seems to always be Facebook, Instagram platforms that gets this criticism.
Never Pinterest, WhatsApp, TikTok, YouTube or Twitter. Just FBk & Insta.

Other popular reasons to hate Facebook are
"How dare they reveal details about anyone else!"
"That's so disgusting they share so many details about their own life"
"They say things I disagree with!"
"They are constantly evangelising about something I don't like"

I don't know why people can't mute/block/hide. Instead the SM-disliker whines about how much they hate Fbk/Insta, praises selves when they finally delete their FBk/Insta accounts & declares self morally virtuous for so doing.

Anyway, if SM doesn't suit you then don't go there. I find all sorts of online communities aren't very nice. So I ... don't go there. I try to keep MN at arms length because people say a lot of stuff I disagree with here, too. It's incredibly easy on Twitter or Facebook to hide the stuff I don't want to read, but very hard to avoid/mute on MN.

@Watermelonsugarhii yes, of course. That's the point. It's all a big pissing contest and I imagine most ppl feel shit from constant comparing themselves to others.

(I do still have social media, but am hoping to just scrap it very soon because of the above).

But be aware though OP, you know she will be able to see that you've viewed her story? Probably not an issue if she has 100s of followers / viewers, but some people don't know that, so just be aware.

I did so I left social media!

OP, have you watched The Social Dilemma? If not I recommend you do. It will help get this into perspective because the thing about social media is that it is deliberately designed to make you feel inadequate. It is also designed to be addictive, to give you FOMO and invite comparison but also to make you keep going back for more. The creators of these platforms have deliberately exploited flaws in human psychology to provoke these responses, incredibly unethical of course but the important thing to take away from this is that there's nothing wrong with you. You're fine as you are.

All the time. I see a couple we know of down the school who are always on weekend breaks or at an event, surrounded by booze and their many friends and family. Clearly both earning very well and get to work from home most days.
It is hard. I don't believe that FB isn't always reality too. Some people do just have it easier/better in life

If I did it, I surely would. I now I'm on MN, but that's slightly different.....

Never done Facebook or Instagram etc because I know my mental health would have suffered. I get constant moans from the very friends who always try to persuade me to join the above platforms about the misery they feel due to participating. One friend has been ostracised publicly on FB from her friendship group, at the ripe old age of 55. It took her several years to recover. The whole thing was like being 15 again. Others are constantly feeling insecure and inadequate because of FB posts and having to deal with the fallout from others taking offence that their posts haven't been liked etc.

Nightmare? Minefield? Avoid, avoid, avoid and live more contentedly in the real world.

It honestly doesn't bother me one bit. I like seeing the nice bits of my friends' lives. Some of them are certainly more wealthy and successful than I am, and that's fine. I don't mind.

Yes, it can chip away at you. Even if they're your friends, it can still make you feel boring; poorer; less attractive or less successful in comparison, even if your happy for them.

The traveller and influencer types of never follow in the first place. They're whole brand is being enviable which can make people feel bad about themselves.

Well no because I don't want to do those things. Now if someone was posting about sitting around all day with no job and drinking cava I'd be well jealous!

No, not at all. We're all different. I'm sure you have some qualities she lacks and vice versa.

i think most (not all) people on OLD who say like travelling really mean that the like holidays, and to be honest who doesn’t. They tend to have very other real interests- because when asked what they like doing they write something that they are doing for maybe 4 weeks of the year- what are your interests for the other 48????

lljkk

Facebook etc: I'm afraid I'm with your parents on this! * *I think it is a generational thing to some degree - to me it does seem like showing off/boasting and very me, me, me. It just seems like bad manners, but I know I'm ridiculously old fashioned and out of step.

Also, I don't think anyone on here who doesn't like FB and Insta is necessarily jealous - there are many valid reasons for disliking them.