Not paying for childcare this autumn as bills go up

[Essenceandvibes]

I've just had an epiphany.....I absolutely won't be paying a penny for childcare this autumn as bills increase and I won't be made to feel guilty about it either. I can work from home and watch my baby and pick up my 10 year old from school without the assistance of anyone else and if my employer has an issue with it, he can pay an extra £2000 per month post tax to cover the cost of full time help.

Our bills are going to be about £800 a month just electricity and gas alone for our detached 4 bed house, this isn't even thinking about the increase of petrol or groceries.

The mortgage has also gone up a few hundred quid too....childcare and commuting is now a luxury not necessity and I really hope every parent joins me in asking for employers like it or lump it

Shameful the government have let everything get this far, the knock on effects will be huge

But the amount of people who aren't in that position but will take the hit anyway out of principal rather than fight back is terrifying
Or maybe they'll just adjust according to their own needs like people have been doing for centuries.

A lot of people recognise that we are actually lucky to live in the UK, and if life is harder at time, most can still eat, have a roof over their head and get medical care.

Those who can manage will help others in greater nedfs. Then there are the moaners who will moan for the sake of it even though their own situation means they don't have a clue what's like to really be in need.

I am lucky that I can afford childcare 10x over. I simply don't want to, and don't have to
Then instead of pretending you care so much about others right who in real life don't have the luxury of safety, why don't you use your huge income to insure others still have a job (nursery workers) or even better, pay childcare for someone who is rightly scared that if they stood to their boss, THEY will get sacked because they are not as sacred as you.

Typical arrogance of those who can afford to be so.

something so minor ?

You call having to look after a child 'minor' when you're supposed to be working? Do you also think it'd be a minor thing if someone spent most of their working day chatting to a colleague? Or cooking? Sure, they may be able to do some work at the same time, but the quality and the performance overall would suffer. And that would indeed be cause for termination.

OP I think you'd be better off becoming self-employed or starting your own Company. That way you have complete power on how much your contribution is worth.

You're not wrong.
I mean, I won't be joining you. They days I've had to work and look after the kids at home have been pure hell. It would be a last resort - and I have a lovely MIL that would help more with the kids if I took the youngest out of nursery. Luckily mine only goes 3 days a week so the bill isn't quite what yours is.

But...the bit about the employer. My employer gave me an average performance review this year (despite my protests and evidence of 'above and beyond' performance), so I suppose what I should be doing is average performance.
The commute cost was killing me. I rarely go in now, it's made no difference to my performance - at least not in any negative way. So far I'm getting away with it.

If prices continue to rise in the way they are then something has to change. In real terms I'm far worse off than I was 3 years ago...no payrise for 2 years, 3% this year.

If the money runs out I'll be cutting childcare before I stop eating or heating.

In my office there are 2 of us with children under 10, mine are 8 and 10 and my colleague has a baby. Out of 45 workers. I can't imagine our limited protest would change anything, they would just get people in who will pay for childcare or are childless.

That would be a performance based evidenced process.
Here’s a shocker, i can cook, supervise swimming lessons, mumsnet, load a washing machine, attend a teams meeting as we speak and still produce the required outcomes my employer expects in a day.

i get feck all done in the office

Part of me thinks good for you, OP – if we all took a stand, then something will have to change. Except it won't, because the Govt just wants to protect businesses, so when Sunak announced today that in his first 100 days of office he would rip up remaining EU legislation he means workers rights and employment rights. So while I wish you the best of British come this autumn, what will you do if they sack you for refusing to work to your contract?

Can you point out where parenting is a protected characteristic?

I do have some sympathy with what you are saying @Essenceandvibes which is, I think, that Neoliberalism has been a huge failure for 90% of the population and has made the top 0.1% obscenely wealthy. Plus that Brits are too passive for their own good. I agree with that particularly the first sentence. I also think that we will see a lot of civil disobedience this Autumn/Winter and beyond as people struggle more and more to afford essentials.

What I am struggling with is:
a) You say you are in demand in your sphere of work and could move roles and get a pay rise but don't appear to want to do this but also say you can't afford childcare costs. That doesn't quite add up. It sounds as if you can afford it but don't want to compromise your lifestyle.

b) You seem to be choosing particularly expensive childcare (I think you mentioned a nanny).

c) You think it's acceptable to do your job poorly (and look after your child poorly too). To be, neither of these things are acceptable. I'm an NHS doctor and so have a strong work ethic and have always given a huge amount of energy and unpaid time to my job (as we all have otherwise the NHS would have collapsed long ago). I think that's right given the nature of the role. I have plenty of complaints about the job, the NHS, etc but doing the job poorly is just not an option for me. It's pretty arrogant to expect not to do your job properly and still to get paid the full amount, presumably well above the average wage for you.

d) I'm not sure you have fully thought this through. If people start deciding not to do their jobs, some of them will be sacked. I doubt this will become mass disobedience as most people are too worried about their finances and will not want to risk it so those who do this leave themselves more open to dismissal. As we enter a huge recession, employers will be getting rid of staff, businesses will be folding and you will put yourself at risk. On a bigger scale, staff not doing their jobs will make business failure more likely and will further disadvantage everyone. If the don't pay movement succeeds at scale, that could cause huge problems to the whole economy which will make everyone suffer. Sure, it puts pressure on the government and they will probably be forced to act. What do you think they will do? Borrow more money to pay more in support, further increasing the current account deficit, leading the UK economy to collapse? Increases taxes astronomically to pay? Whatever, it's going to have very unpleasant consequences. You need to think more rationally even though you are clearly really pissed off and feeling militant.

We used to have a HR policy, pre covid, that said you couldn't WFH and also be responsible for a young child, that went out of the window for a while but it's back in place.

No employer wants to be in any way at risk of being responsible for the injury or death of a child on their time, it's about risk management at a time when people take legal action more and more.

You'll be neglecting either your children or your job. Did you read the story of that poor woman in lockdown who's child drowned while she was on a Teams call?
If this became the norm employers would just stop selecting women likely to have young children from the potential candidates.

Why don't you just renegotiate your contract rather than risk neglecting both your job and your child?
It's clear you're having a lovely day of posturing on MN but there are far simpler solutions at hand.

This. If you can’t afford to live in a four bedroom detached house, you need to downsize. Going in the huff with your employer won’t help.

OP, you do NOT represent in anyway the vast majority of working parents of young children. You really don't.

It's one thing to be so indispensable that you can do it without any consequences. Good for you. Go ahead and save thousand that you can spend on your next holiday to Hawaii.

In the meantime, those who would likely be fired if doing the sane and be in the real shit, will just tighten their belt even more and hope to have enough to celebrate Xmas!

I can only conclude that @FinneusMum and @Nothappyatwork 's jobs are an absolutely doddle. Either that or they are both doing a jolly poor job but have no insight.

I have just had a quote for over £8,000 on my annual review, so it could theoretically be true. (I wouldn't mind but we're not here half the time). Older houses use more energy, though we're absolutely not profligate with the heating.

However as a result of this I've been working on how to reduce our bills since March, not trying to find an arbitrary someone else to blame.

OP you are clearly looking for someone to "blame", so let me help you out here. Write a letter setting out your principle complaints and address it to

Vladimir Putin,
The Kremlin,
Moscow.

I'm sure your points will be carefully considered.

These are world problems and you are not unique. It's fine to be worried or concerned, but not to make it everybody else's responsibility to bear your burden.

I agree, and if my kids were still small enough to need childcare I'd be doing the same.

And when you are sacked?

You'll be neglecting either your children or your job. Did you read the story of that poor woman in lockdown who's child drowned while she was on a Teams call?

What?! 🤬😢

I’m willing to put money on the bet that every person on this thread who says that there’s no impact on work of them WFH with babies and toddlers is relying on the unpaid, unnoticed, and unappreciated additional labour of their childless colleagues or those with much older children. I had over 1200 hours written off in the 18 months of lockdown. That’s 37 weeks of unpaid overtime. I’m still working over my hours now because my colleagues insist that they shouldn’t have to pay for childcare or work the hours they’re paid for.

Put upon colleagues working to rule is the revolution I’d like to see in the workplace. Or a mass sacking of every single one of the people behaving like this.