To ask how I should feel about this?

[Margot78]

We are currently on holiday in UK about a two hour drive from home with my widowed MIL and DD. Having a nice time and DD is enjoying time with her grandma and us. However, DH’s sister who lives in the same town as us and who is usually never interested in meeting up has announced that she is joining us on Wednesday with her DC. A large part of our day yesterday was taken up with DH on the phone to his sister trying to meet her demands of what she wants to do and getting food in so we can cook for them all. This is our only holiday this year whereas she has two foreign holidays booked with her partner and DC. MIL is getting very excited about her other grandchildren coming and a couple of times has been so busy enthusing about it that she hasn’t paid attention to my DD trying to talk to her.

I know it’s only one day, that I’m supposed to feel excited about them joining us and happy that DD will have playmates for a day but I can’t shake off the anger. I feel like our holiday is being gatecrashed and that I’m having to bend over backwards to accommodate someone I didn’t want to have there. I would never invite myself to someone’s holiday and dictate the day and this feels so intrusive. I can’t focus anymore on enjoying the day because I can’t get on top of my feelings.

AIBU to ask you how I’m meant to feel - is this anger unreasonable and how do I overcome
and not allow it to ruin the week?

Tell her not to bother coming then!

What is it with not wanting to see in laws on Mumsnet today? If you haven't married a single child who is now an orphan they are part and parcel of being married. Be a bit put out and then get on with helping make the day happen. You might even enjoy it.

You feel how you feel and that is perfectly acceptable. What I would do, is take myself off and journal the shit out of it, get it out of my system, and then aim to make the best of it once i felt calmer. I use a practice called journalspeak (basically just journaling and getting to the truth of the matter and letting that anger out on the page, accept it, let it be then let it go, then rip it up, and then do something like a calming meditation after). We repress so much anger as we're taught it's not acceptable to feel it. You're justified in feeling exactly how you feel. I would be feeling exactly like you in this situation. But you can either let it eat you up and ruin your holiday, or accept it, and make the best of it. I would personally try and do the latter (this doesn't mean you have to like it, just try not to let it eat you up) (link to how to journalspeak if it's at all helpful )

I'm sorry your Sil is gatecrashing and doing it in such an annoying way, and I hope you can still have a lovely break regardless ❤

So you live in the same town and presumably free to meet up whenever you like but she's driving 2hours to meet up at a holiday home, for the day. Then drive home a 4hr return journey for a day trip? It's crazy.

She obviously feels the need to muscle in, all you can do is as you say grin and bear it then wave her off with an 'enjoy the drive home we'll see you there very soon' pa comment.

I hear you OP. You have one week’s holiday and you’re having to take time out to deal with someone you could easily see any other week of the year.
I had similar, but different, back in the day and I remember the feeling of the oxygen being sucked out of my world as my much longed for 7 days of respite got hijacked to suit wider family needs.
Breathe out, breathe in, repeat as necessary and don’t let her do it next year!