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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS bad table manners

4 replies

simplehappyzen · 07/08/2022 21:16

Good evening. Had to name change for this as could definitely be outing. My lovely DS is 17 and was diagnosed with ASD when he was 4. He had major issues around food and had such a restrictive diet for the first 5 years of his life. When he finally started to eat "normal" foods I was so relieved that I overlooked him eating with his hands etc as I was just glad he was eating.
As he got older he tried and ate more and more food types and now he eats pretty much anything.
The problem now is that his eating habits are quite frankly embarrassing. He literally shovels his food in, will put his hands in his food, drops food everywhere and gulps down his drink. It's as though he doesn't even taste what he is eating.
We have been out for dinner this evening with friends and I just felt embarrassed at the speed he was ramming his food in, it was all over his hands (pizza) and I had to get out the wet wipes that you'd carry around for a toddler.
How on earth do I deal with this in a sensitive manner? He is age appropriate when it comes to understanding but if I say the wrong thing he will literally churn it over and over for days.

OP posts:
Simplehappyzen · 10/08/2022 06:04

Bump... anyone?

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 10/08/2022 06:32

Completely stereotypical I know but is he a stickler for rules? Could you ask him to watch a table etiquette YouTube video or similar so he understands what is expected?

Or maybe even explain to him what you have here that there are rules for table manner but because you were so happy he was eating a range of foods as a child you overlooked them but now think its time he learnt them.

PancakesWithCheese · 10/08/2022 06:36

My ASD children often eat with their hands as they struggle to use cutlery so we’ve bought the chunky (can’t remember what it’s called) cutlery which is easier to use. Often having issues with fine or gross motor skills is related. Mine had to see the occupational therapists for a while.

Hankunamatata · 10/08/2022 07:49

Do you feel he is able to learn to improve table manners. One of mine is a gulper and has sensory problems. We encourage him to chew 10x and if using knife and fork nothing bigger than say 50p on his fork. We are using two rules to start with so he doesnt have lots to think about. We also get him to use a straw to drink.
Things like pizza again we encourage one bite and 10 chews. Mine are younger so bit easier.

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