How would I go about having children alone?

[nightmareonthebus]

Please no sarcastic answers. I’m 35 now and really desperate for children, I really feel like at this point I won’t find the man I want to have children with. I’m happy without a romantic partner.

I was raised by a single mother so I know it’s not easy, but since I intentionally want to have a child alone I can’t go about having one night stands.

Looking for bits of advice, bits of criticism, ideas, etc.

Artificial insemination by donor would be the first avenue to explore. Not cheap, but donors are screened.

I think you are better going to a donation clinic than finding a mate.

They will check your fertility (so you don’t waste money on a donor if your fertility isn’t up to it). If you fertility is low, they might also suggest donor eggs, which would mean IVF as well as a sperm donor.

You could also look at adoption. There are an awful lot more under twos available to adopt than there used to be, and a shortage of parents. Being single isn’t an issue.

Argh! When I said mate I didn’t mean partner! I meant using a friend as a donor..

Would definitely recommend a clinic instead of using a stranger or friend etc, because then it can start to get messy where legalities are concerned. Don’t expect it to come cheap though, I know a lesbian couple going through it at the moment and they’ve already spent nearly £10k, and they got pregnant first time round… just do as much research as possible so you can be fully prepared

I think the first step would be to speak to your GP. They can then refer you to the appropriate clinic. Best of luck.

Very possible to do. My friend lost her partner in a sudden tragedy and went on to have 2 children via sperm donation, they are full siblings but she did it abroad and so donor is anonymous. It's a bit strange to think they will never know who was the other half of their biological identity.

I feel like I’ll get slammed for this but imo sperm donors seem to me an absolutely ridiculous idea. The child is a genetic copy of that person. My friends child is exactly like a mini version of her ex partner who has no involvement with the child (so it’s not from his influence) with his looks, personality etc her ex was a very attractive, intelligent man and her son takes after him (although obviously he’s a bit of a shit for not having involvement with the child).

The reason we as women are SO picky with who we sleep with is because your child will likely be a mini version of them as they share 50% DNA. I’d rather get pregnant from a fling and take the risk of it being a stranger.

There are sperm donor Facebook groups where atleast you could speak with and zoom call the person first to make sure they aren’t someone you’d be completely repulsed by. That’s the only way I’d do it.

Why though? You'd know far more about a donor than a fling?

Never heard of sperm donation?

Costs under a grand for donor sperm and a round of IUI

Start with the Donor Conception Network.

They have resources for “thinkers” and “tryers”.

really appreciating the replies everyone! thank you! :)

See the Solo Mothers by Choice FB group.

I know of someone that started down this route but she left it too late at 44. She was very well off and had also negotiated for her Mother to come and live with her if she had a child. I am actually friends with the Mother who actually didn’t want to move but felt she didn’t want to be the reason her daughter felt she couldn’t try

Her well paid job involved international travel for weeks at a time with no real pattern.

As your actually considering it with planning and though circumstances change be brutally honest about how poor or not you will be in your room current financial circumstances.