To not understand his motives?

[Ivolunteerastribute]

I was seeing someone on and off - then when we were off I message him and he said hes now with someone and blocked me. Didn’t know about her otherwise I wouldn’t have messaged

A few months later he messaged asking how I was. Ignored him. Then for a year (not constant) he was messaging me and I never responded. Then when I did he said he was sorry for what happened previously, he wants to take me out on a date.

I agreed to the date, but I said he’d have to wait 3 weeks as I’m busy (I work away, I’m doing exams and have prearranged plans with friends). We then spoke on the phone most days. Last weekend he text me to ask if I go home ok, I said I just got home now - assuming the conversation would carry on.

I’ve not heard from him since.

I don’t think he’s back with his ex (but could well be) but if he’s not that’s got to be so strange … like why chase someone for a year and then when they agree to do what you want then go silent.

Obviously if he does message me (date is planned for this coming weekend) I won’t go because I don’t have time for games. I’m just annoyed I let myself agree to a date with someone that would do that.

You're a backup.

There was a thing on the radio about Cookie-jarring.

Block and move on.

Time water. Guys like this love the chase unfortunately. And this has red flags written all over it. Just block his number and move on! You'll find someone who's actually worthy of your time x

Yeah maybe.

I don’t treat people as back ups myself but I just can’t imagine if I did have one I’d chase them for a year for literally noting. It’s not even like it was all just for sex.

He decided he wasn't in to you any more. Move on, have some fun and forget him.

youre a back up shag

Ugh block and move on! If he’s dicking you around this much and you’re not even dating, really don’t waste your time!

Hardly. We’ve never had sex.

You weren't his first choice You're still not his first choice

What else information do you need be use you'll be someone's first choice

I'd rather be alone than be messed around by an idiot man who doesn't appreciate me

So I do hope that you decide that he isn't worth your effort
Nothing good will come of this

Because you will be someone's first choice I meant to type in second paragraph

Sometimes you just enter someone else's story & they are irrelevant and not who you need. What you need is someone who values and appreciates you fairly quickly

Please don't be anyones back up that they don't really know ...

What an idiot is what I'd think

He's talking to/seeing someone else

A complete waste of time trying to understand his motives. Even if you get an answer, it's likely it won't make any sense whatsoever. I also say move on (and block).

I did say in my OP if he did still message me about the date then I wouldn’t be going.