Moving

[LSIJ]

We’ve moved out of our home town into a village about 20 miles away. My son is excited to start school in September and has settled in well here but We have now had our second child and I feel very isolated. Am I being selfish considering moving back? It’s a much nicer environment here but I just can’t seem to click with anyone. Partner is still living his exact same life in terms of socialising etc

also we have been here for 7 months already so I’m wondering if I need to give it more time. I miss being close to family and familiarity 😣

You're only 20 miles away. Do you drive? If so you're plenty close enough to family.

It'd be unfair on the preschooler to move again.

Yes I drive but we are car sharing so not as easy and can’t afford a car until after I’m back at work. I completely get that it wouldn’t be fit to him, he’s so adaptable but he is excited to go to his school here. Guess I need to just stick it out. I think I’m struggling with socialising because all my friends go out drinking and I’m breastfeeding so it’s just not the same lifestyle. I just feel so low but putting on a brave face constantly

Life with a young baby can be quite isolating and this is especially difficult when you have moved to a new place.

Are there any parent or other suitable groups locally?

Village life can be great with a strong supportive community, but it isn’t suitable for everyone. It is great that your son is so adaptable and in your situation I would give it a little more time. However, I would also be prepared that if after a year, it is still not working and you still feel very unhappy, to move back.

You might find school helps. You'll meet other local parents and that helped me a lot.

I'd probably give it a bit longer and see.
Have you had a look to see if there's any mother and baby/toddler groups locally? If there isn't why not try and set one up yourself, even a meet in the local park, village hall etc I'd imagine your not the only one feeling a bit lonely.

Thank you for the feedback, I think I know deep down the comments regarding giving it a bit longer are right. I have made sure I’ve been talkative to mums at pre school who’s kids are now moving up to the same school but just doesn’t go much further than a big of chit chat. I think when I go back to work (in the old location once a week) things will improve. I did try the village baby group but there were just child minders there who seemed to just be there for a break from the kids lol. These posts have just made me feel a little more At ease. After a really difficult pregnancy Mixed with lockdowns and working from home I’m not even close with my friends from before. Feel so lonely but I’m sure it’ll get better.