Is this imposter syndrome?

[ImposterAlert]

I’m 28 years old, yet I don’t yet feel qualified to be an adult. I have a good job, a mortgage, 2 children and a husband.

I still find it surreal that I have a husband, and sometimes feel really weird waiting for him to come home from work, like it’s not real and I’ve been imagining it all.

I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing at work and I don’t deserve to be there, despite having a degree in the subject etc.

I lack confidence in every decision I make. I spend so much time trying to be what I think I should be, probably spend to much time on here reading about all the perfect people and I put a lot of pressure on myself.

every so often I get a glimpse of who I think I really am, and I really like her, it she doesn’t stay for very long and I’m back to trying tk latent and act like how I think I should, rather than how I want to. I love my quirky, colourful, messy house but think that I should be striving for a clean, modern, new build sort of aesthetic.

I don’t do anything of the fun things I want to do with my family because I’m a bit fat and that’s not how grown women act etc.

is this normal? I do have bipolar disorder too, is don’t know if it’s just that and I’m a bit disconnected from reality.

hi op I think everyone gets this feeling sometimes and it's credit to you that you have noticed it and welcomed it in to an extent.

On the ine hand life can push and pull you in all directions and its natural to have several personas imo, e.g the work persona, the mum persona, the romantic partner persona etc.

On the other hand I wasted a lot of my 30s chasing after something. I thought I " should" be and re evaluated everything at the death of a parent.

I would watch and wait if I were you, maybe do some yoga and meditation to see whether that helps with integration.

I feel like this all the time. I think it's because i feel like being a responsible adult should feel different to how it actually does. I think we all looked up to adults when we was kids and assumed we would feel a certain way when we are that age and it doesn't feel like we expected.

Yes I think accepting that my parents also had no idea what they were doing and just winging it is difficult!

I don’t know why I think everything I do is wrong or stupid. I like skateboarding but think I shouldn’t do it because I’m a grown uo. I like watching anime, learning languages, drinking red wine until I’m drunk, wearing cute dresses, hanging up my own art work etc. except I don’t do anything of these things as they’re “wrong”.

I want to go surfing and karting and go to the beach but I can’t because I’m fat.

my husband is so free and unashamed and I feel like I’m holding him back for making him feel bad about doing things he’s too “old” to do.

Bumping for more stories on this!

I don’t know why I think everything I do is wrong or stupid. I like
skateboarding but think I shouldn’t do it because I’m a grown up. Correct not to do this.
I like watching anime Correct not to do this
learning languages Perfectly acceptable thing to do
drinking red wine until I’m drunk Essential thing to do
wearing cute dresses Perfectly acceptable thing to do
hanging up my own art work I mean as long as it's not ultra offensive like something glorifying the Nazis this is a perfectly normal thing to do

I want to go surfing and karting and go to the beach but I can’t because I’m fat. Don't worry about it, if you're really worried then do the surfing and general beach things at a clothing optional beach, you'll soon find nobody cares what you're up to.

(Obviously don't do karting at a beach, clothing optional or otherwise. But that's fine for an adult to do.)

Why not skateboarding?

I think some of that is very common, almost universal, OP.

I’ve pretty much always been very confident and don’t identify with the idea that everything I did was stupid or wrong. But I used to find it odd that people treated me as an adult able to make all these decisions in my 20s. Less and less over time, though. By the time I was, probably, 35ish I don’t think I felt that way anymore.