Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed when asked if my picture can be taken to promote someone else's business on Instagram?

114 replies

petpeevesgalore · 07/08/2022 09:12

I've had this happen more and more often. You attend an activity, course or event. You are having a reasonably good time and enjoying the experience. Then all of a sudden or towards the end, the organiser or business owner asks attendees if they wouldn't mind having their picture taken to post on Instagram.

This puts me right off. I feel like an animal in a zoo, dehumanised and feel not much more than marketing material to line somebody else's pockets.

I'm prepared to be told I'm totally overthinking this and IABU. But that's how I feel.

What are your views on this?

OP posts:
Brefugee · 07/08/2022 10:03

I don't know, it's the feeling of being used I guess. You are already paying for the event but they want more.

so check events that you sign up for and look at their instagram? "being used" is a complete overreaction. Politely decline and move on.

Instagram is a very useful tool for so many businesses, you are being rather churlish in reacting so badly to a request not a command. If you enjoyed it you'd possibly want to do it again? so their business needs to survive.

DeadbeatYoda · 07/08/2022 10:03

I think you have an over-sensitivity issue there. Do you normally have trouble saying no to things? Letting it ruin your whole experience seems like a hive over-reaction.

purplemunkey · 07/08/2022 10:04

I do think it’s an OTT reaction. They just want to be able to show genuine people enjoying the activity/showing their work or whatever it is. Much better than stock photos or models. They can only do this if you give consent, which is why they ask. Just say no if you don’t want to, it’s fine.

The other poster’s example, where they were not given the option to say no, isn’t on though.

DeadbeatYoda · 07/08/2022 10:05

bigdecisionstomake · 07/08/2022 09:23

Actually I sort of agree with you OP. I went to a new fitness class last year and when booking online was told I would be asked to sign a permission form for photos and videos of the class to be used in publicity.

I assumed the form would give the option to agree or decline (as schools etc... do) but on arrival the form I was given only offered the option to agree and I was told very explicitly that if I didn't sign to agree to images and videos being used on social media then I wouldn't be allowed to participate in the class, despite already having paid.

I was with a friend who for various reasons can't have her image shared on social media so we both had to leave and lose our payment.

Needless to say we haven't been back.

You are legally entitled to a refund unless the requirement for the use of your image was clearly stipulated prior to booking.

Brefugee · 07/08/2022 10:07

also little tip: if you have your photo "plastered all over" social media you can report the posts to the platform and request them to delete them and why.

CatsAreCrackers · 07/08/2022 10:08

Closedlips · 07/08/2022 09:40

Where are people going where they're being regularly asked if their pictures can be put on Instagram? This has literally never happened to me.

This!! Mind you, I'm no oil painting, so I can't imagine anyone wanting to use my photo anyway! 😂

Also, unless I am mistaken (happy to be corrected), if you are in a public space, they don't actually have to ask permission to take your photo and use it, so it's quite nice that you have been repeatedly asked if your image can be used.

Lindy2 · 07/08/2022 10:19

Of all the things to get worked up about, this really isn't one of them.

I think you need to toughen up a bit OP.

Someone asking for a photo is fine - I doubt very much it's just a photo of you they want. I'm assuming you're just asked because you're part of a group. It's the group they want, not you.

You can say no. Then you carry on with your day. If there's any lasting effects on you from being asked a reasonable question then that's something you personally need to work on overcoming. It's not a proportionate reaction to feel being asked to be in a photo is unreasonable.

The organiser takes the photo of the rest of the group, who all said yes, and are happy to be on social media helping others find out about the course you just enjoyed and for the business to succeed and continue to be able to offer other nice courses.

No issues at all - other than your own personal quirk about being photographed.

Original poster
petpeevesgalore · 07/08/2022 10:33

I was with a friend who for various reasons can't have her image shared on social media so we both had to leave and lose our payment.

That's shocking! And as a PP said above, most likely illegal. You should absolutely have got a refund (and apology for the misunderstanding)

OP posts:
Original poster
petpeevesgalore · 07/08/2022 10:36

These things won't be there for you to have a lovely time if they don't advertise!

But they can still advertise. They can simply post a picture of themselves speaking, the product or ask some friends to fill up the space.

They don't need to use their customers as props. It's distasteful

OP posts:
pimlicoanna · 07/08/2022 10:42

Just say no! Your reaction is disproportionate

Original poster
petpeevesgalore · 07/08/2022 10:46

Surely it's no different to bring invited to leave a Trip Advisor review after a meal/holiday or complete a service survey from a receipt?

That's completely different, as a) you are usually not being forced to tell someone 'no' to their face and b) you use an alias, so nobody would know who has left the review. It's not the same as a picture at all

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 07/08/2022 10:52

Just say, ‘No thanks, I’d rather not’ and move on.

I honestly wonder how some people function and get through their days sometimes!

zingally · 07/08/2022 10:55

YABU.

Sure, you don't have to be in a photo if you don't want to, but surely just step out of frame, or go and stand next to the photographer out of the way. If they gesture you in, just give a friendly wave and a "no thanks!"

You're massively over-thinking this, and to let it spoil your experience, just because the organisers asked for a photo, is just a very strange response.

Lovethemarsbars · 07/08/2022 10:58

They ask so you can say 'that's fine' or 'i'd rather not have my picture taken'.

AllThatAndMore · 07/08/2022 10:59

I would just politely say no if I didn’t want my picture taken

Spanielsarepainless · 07/08/2022 11:01

I agree, it does take a bit of the shine off things. But I just say no thanks, I don't want to be on social media.

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 07/08/2022 11:02

Honestly, the amount of drama some people create out of nothing never ceases to amaze me.

Original poster
petpeevesgalore · 07/08/2022 11:03

I assumed the form would give the option to agree or decline (as schools etc... do)

I've seen a university where every lecture room had a 'You are being filmed' sign. No asking. What happens if students don't want to be filmed or they learn about this once they've enrolled and paid for their fees? e.g. overseas students who've not been to the building before starting their couse?

OP posts:
Purplepatsy · 07/08/2022 11:05

There's no obligation to have your photo taken if you don't want to. Businesses can't survive without advertising though, so you would be helping them.

Fushiadreams · 07/08/2022 11:05

Op are you ok? This is not within the realms of a healthy reaction. Do you often over react to this extent?

clpsmum · 07/08/2022 11:08

I hope
This proves to be your biggest problem in life OP

Sunshineona · 07/08/2022 11:11

YANBU! I’ve had this too OP. I was at a gym exercise class sweating away and the instructor insisted on taking a video of us all to put on the internet to advertise her personal business (as opposed to the gym, by the way). I said I wasn’t happy with that and didn’t consent, and she stopped the class to argue with me for 5 minutes, then sulkily said she’d edit me out and took the video anyway. I don’t believe she edited me out and felt extremely upset and stressed for the rest of the class.

So entitled of her. I am not someone else’s marketing actor, if she wants actors for an ad she can do a free class on that basis, or hire some.

There are plenty of other ways to market her business eg a video of her dancing.

I never went back. I hear the gym’s fired her now anyway 🤷‍♀️

But now I have this all the time with my child, every activity leader wants to take videos of DD and put her online to promote their business. Want a child model? Hire one and pay them!

Summersnearlygone · 07/08/2022 11:11

I'd feel exactly the same.Fortunately there seems to be people who are happy to have their entire families all over social media and that's ok but I certainly don't.

Sunshineona · 07/08/2022 11:12

petpeevesgalore · 07/08/2022 11:03

I assumed the form would give the option to agree or decline (as schools etc... do)

I've seen a university where every lecture room had a 'You are being filmed' sign. No asking. What happens if students don't want to be filmed or they learn about this once they've enrolled and paid for their fees? e.g. overseas students who've not been to the building before starting their couse?

Totally OP! Pineapple Studios had a sign on their door a while back saying thet by entering this changing room you are consenting to being filmed in it.

I went home sweaty and did not go back!

Ignore the trolls…

Bubbafly · 07/08/2022 11:42

That is a terrible misuse of the word dehumanise.

Just say no and get on with your day, What a huge non issue.

Swipe left for the next trending thread