Dessert price query

[Spoilerd]

Name changed as outing.

I think part of what I did was unreasonable, but I would appreciate some opinions on whether I was entirely unreasonable.

Out in a restaurant, ordering dessert. Very limited in what I can order, due to a medical issue, though I realise that makes no difference to the restaurant staff. There’s only one part of one dessert, which is suitable, which is a sorbet. The total dessert is a scoop of sorbet with a shot of vodka.

I asked whether I could have just sorbet and the waitress said, “so you want the ‘name of dessert’ without the vodka” and I said yes.

An alternative dessert is two scoops of ice cream, which I think was cheaper than the sorbet plus vodka.

I was brought the single scoop of sorbet and was then charged full price for the dessert.

Was I unreasonable for thinking that was less than generous on the part of the restaurant? I thought the price might have been slightly reduced, or an extra scoop offered.

And second (where I think I was probably unreasonable) is that, when presented with the bill, with the full priced dessert, I decided not to give a tip. That was probably unreasonable as it probably wasn’t the serving staff who made the decision. I probably should have checked the price before going ahead. I’m not in the US and am in a country where tipping does occur, but where staff are undoubtedly paid properly, whether you tip them or not.

Your thoughts would be appreciated as the rather sour end seems to have spoiled what had been looking like a pleasant evening.

I agree you shouldn’t have been charged the full price. Was it a chain restaurant where the staff don’t have as much discretion as an independent place?

Yes that was mean of them. They should have given you the same size portion and price as the ice cream.

”Was it a chain restaurant where the staff don’t have as much discretion as an independent place?”

No, it was a reasonably upmarket independent.

YANBU - I would have expected to have been charged less to reflect you did not have the vodka.

I would maybe have framed it as asking if you could have sorbet instead of the ice cream and then it would maybe have been priced in line with that dessert rather than the vodka one

Ooo I'm not sure, if I make amendments to any items I order, I still expect to pay the menu price (even with items removed). I think the difference is here that it's probably the more expensive bit that's been removed, so you'd think they might put it through as something cheaper or slip you an extra scoop. It'll probably be a system says no, and they can't amend the price and probably didn't give it a second thought when tapping it into the till!

I think you are going unreasonable with your first point. I've been to many restaurants where I have asked them to leave out certain items and still paid full price. Although I understand your reasoning was dietary where do you draw the line? eg , fussy eaters and the likes.

Second point is completely up to you.

Therefore I side on the opposite to each if your points 😆

I actually think you are unreasonable, which will probably go against the grain.
Dessert listed, price clear. It's you choosing not to have an element of it. I would have expected to pay the same.

I would have asked if I could please have two scoops of sorbet instead of the vodka at the point of ordering. I have a DC with a medical condition that means he can't have certain things, particularly on the dessert menu, so I'm used to asking for adaptions. They nearly always say yes. I wouldn't have expected a reduction in the cost but I would have asked for the extra scoop.

”I think you are going unreasonable with your first point. I've been to many restaurants where I have asked them to leave out certain items and still paid full price. Although I understand your reasoning was dietary where do you draw the line? eg , fussy eaters and the likes.”

Well yes, I agree, up to a point. I had to leave something out of my first course as well, and explained it was a medical issue, and I didn’t expect any reduction there. I guess it was the fact that it was a shot of alcohol, given that it would be quite common for the price of that to be easily as high as the price of a scoop of sorbet (alcohol is prohibitively expensive here) that made this feel different. That and the fact that in the UK (where I’m from) they would often offer the shot as an extra.

But also, not tipping for any reason shouldn’t have been a problem, as far as I was concerned. Unfortunately my son loudly commented, thus making it a big deal, which certainly spoiled the end of my evening.

I think the problem was how you phrased it.
You asked to amend a specific dessert, so that's actually kind of extra faff for them to make it differently, so I'm not surprised you were charged for it.
But, if you'd have just said 'can I just have a scoop oh sorbet please?' You might have got it cheaper.

Also, some tills don't allow discretionary pricing. For example I worked in a place where there was a button on the till for 'burger' for example, so you couldn't change it.

If you go again that does seem like a good suggestion

”I would have asked if I could please have two scoops of sorbet instead of the vodka at the point of ordering. I have a DC with a medical condition that means he can't have certain things, particularly on the dessert menu, so I'm used to asking for adaptions. They nearly always say yes.”

With hindsight, this would have been a much better option. Next time…

”You asked to amend a specific dessert, so that's actually kind of extra faff for them to make it differently,”

Actually, I think I asked if it was possible to have just the sorbet. The fact that the response was “so you want the ‘name of dessert’ without the vodka” was probably an indication that they were going to handle it as an amended dessert, rather than a completely different request.

Bit of a stretch to suggest that not measuring out a shot of alcohol and adding it is extra faff though, although I suppose amending the order required a small amount of additional communication! 🤣

Why didn’t you just ask for the ice cream dessert and say you’d like sorbet instead? Tills have set buttons for items, so they wouldn’t be able to take money off easily. If I really wanted the sorbet I would expect to pay the full price, otherwise I would just leave it. I’m not keen on chips, so if something comes with them I just ask for them to be left off, but I would never expect the meal to be reduced. Or I’d just give them to my husband!

What was the price of the dessert?

YABU saying dessert. Pudding, always.

You'd be surprised. I guess it's the 'mental load' equivalent in a restaurant.

'Ten vodka sorbets please'
Bosh, bosh, bosh, bosh, bosh, bosh, bosh, bosh, bosh, bosh. 'Service!'

'Nine vodka sorbets and one but with no vodka'
'What?'
'Nine...'
'Right. So just no vodka then?'
'Yes'
Bosh. Bosh. Bosh. Think. Bosh. Bosh. Bosh. Bosh. Think. Bosh. Bosh. Bosh. Think. Bosh.
'Service'
Waits for service
'There's your 9 with vodka, there's your one without.'
Loads 9 up on tray, keeps one separate. Toddles off. Comes back for separate one.

Just pointing out that it will be an extra hassle, but we don't work there, we don't know to what extent. But not nothing.

Is it really a hill to die on?

I am curious as to how this is outing though.

How did your son know you didn't tip? Did you say you weren't going to?

if I make amendments to any items I order, I still expect to pay the menu price

“so you want the ‘name of dessert’

This might have been the moment to explain that you hoped you could have two scoops of sorbet for the price of an ice creme.

I'd prefer to pay the full price rather than have to haggle.

As for service charges, I'm not a big fan. I'd much prefer to see the fully inclusive price on the menu so I am not obliged to 'tip' professional service staff going about their business.

However, if the menu mentions a service charge, I expect to pay it unless the service really was terrible on things entirely within their control.

Punishing the staff for your dissatisfaction with the food you were served rather than how it was service is a bit off.

”How did your son know you didn't tip? Did you say you weren't going to?”

He watched me putting the numbers in.

I think I would have asked at the time of ordering if I could have extra sorbet. I don't eat pork so often ask for an extra egg or something instead of a sausage. I can't imagine most places willingly offering this without being asked! However I don't think you are unreasonable at all.

”I am curious as to how this is outing though”

Obviously it’s a distinctive situation. My son knows I use Mumsnet. I don’t want him to know my username.

And no, it’s not a hill to die on. In the grand scheme of things, it’s tiny. It was blown out of proportion by the comment and ended up being embarrassing.

There’s background I’m not going into. I just wanted to know if others thought I was unreasonable. Some do, some don’t. Others have offered useful perspective on it. Therefore, to me it was useful. If you start calling me names, troll hunting or insisting I’m an asshole, then you’re projecting. Simple as that.