entitled SIL

[Tellmewhyaintnothingbutacheesecake]

Asking for advice!

currently on holiday with DH, DC and my DH’s family. We just got her and will stay together in the same hotel for the next 7 days. A bunch of activities have been book for our DC.

SIL came over from New Zealand with her DC and DH so it’s a major family event. We are not friends but we’ve got a polite relationship when she’s around. My DH is not very close to his family anyway and we live 5 hours drive from his parents and other siblings.

I had a baby 3 months ago and of course baby is here with us. Sleeping or on the breast most of the time but whenever our baby is “available” ie in the pram my SIL gets him and starts kissing his cheeks and blowing raspberries on his face. I’m not sure if I’m being over protective but it bothers me her mouth all over my baby’s face. No, I don’t want her germs to strength his immunity. No, I’m not a germophobic either I just think this is plain gross and in inappropriate to kiss someone else’s baby all over. I would never do this to her children if they were babies and my husband certainly would never either.

so I just need to few tips on how to make her stop without causing a scene. My MIL of course will side with her and she’s a very rude woman who wouldn’t think twice before humiliating anyone in front of everybody else. I saw her making my BIL’s wife crying once so I need to deal with them without causing a massive drama.

any advice very welcome! Also ready to be told IABU and she can do whatever she wants.

You could say something humorous like “carefull you will suffocate baby with kisses” so she can tell you have noticed she is going over the top..?

"With cold and flu season starting, we're going to stop all kisses on baby's face - other than the two of us"
Done.

You mention SIL lives in New Zealand?
You probably won't see her again for a long time, who cares if she is offended she needs to stop kissing your baby if it's uninvited and your DH needs to have a word!
Honestly MIL and SIL just acting as they want...you act as you want and tell them you don't want them to do that.

How would you feel if your baby got flu or something and SIL has since toddled back to NZ.

Say something!
You got this mumma bear!!

Rude bullying types often don't respond well to sensitive requests. I'm afraid you'll have to be as forthright as they are. Or accept that SIL will continue also she pleases.

Be ready to say "don't kiss the baby on her face please, we don't want her to catch a cold"

And also be ready to respond to whatever come back you get. "I'm her Mum and I decide". "I dont care if you think I'm uptight you're still not kissing her face".

I think if you are not comfortable with the level of affection shown you will just have to bite the bullet and ride out thr reaction. Based on your description of the family it probably will be uncomfortable.

Or make up some very contagious skin condition/infection that baby has on their face and Drs have said no kissing!

You can say something, you can ask her to stop?

Although with the level of dislike of your in laws I'm not sure why you went on holiday with them?

It's going to end in tears.

Dud you do this to appease your DH?

Although with the level of dislike of your in laws I'm not sure why you went on holiday with them?

Exactly! 😆

Why are you on holiday with them?! You don’t like any of them and neither does your husband. Holidays are supposed to be fun and relaxing, this sounds awful.

Tbh I don’t think kissing a baby niece is “entitled”, maybe she was more relaxed about how people were when her kids were babies. It could be years till she sees her again, if she likes you more than you like her maybe she’s trying to make the most of it.

But you’re not happy with the face kissing so use one the suggestions above and get DH to do it then they’ll be annoyed at him not you. That’s if he feels the same about it as you do.

This is such a good response because it doesn't make it personal.

If this is your main issue you should just lighten up. Seriously an auntie kissing or blowing a raspberry on her baby niece?
A 3 month old is not a newborn and will be licking the floor soon.
There are things to be cautious about with a baby and things that are overkill.
It sounds like you just don’t like his family and want any reason at all to be annoyed. Clearly your husband wanted to spend time with his family hence the holiday, his sister and parents live very far and he rarely sees them. Make the effort, they aren’t in your life most of the year.

Get a wet wipe and clean the baby’s face. I would do this, plus I would just ask her to stop as I don’t like it

I couldn’t get upset about this, she is just showing her niece some affection, a niece she won’t likely see again for many years. At 3 months old it’s not going to do any harm to your child, they put far worse stuff in their mouths!

Your baby is going to get a cold sooner or later, and if your breast feeding him you're immunity will help him.

I just think if you bluntly tell her you don't like the kissing and find it over the top that you'll be the family villain forever. And I was expecting to read something much worse when the word entitled showed in your title. She's just a bit OTT. She might even think she's giving you a break by entertaining him.

Another one who just cannot understand the motivation of spending a week with people you clearly don't like.

In your place I would have told your husband go for two nights max if he wants to see them.

So simple.

Go home early if you can.

This type of situation is so easily avoided.

In the interim, have your husband say what @Notimeforaname suggests and put the baby down in your room only.

my in laws used to stick their fingers in my babies mouths (for them to suck). I absolutely hated it but was never brave enough to say anything. They’re teenagers now so it didn’t kill them.

“You’ve just got off a 24 hour flight from New Zealand. Can you get your mouth off my baby, please?”

Also ready to be told IABU and she can do whatever she wants.

Do you usually do what people tell you to do?!

No, she can’t do whatever she wants, if you don’t want her to kiss your baby, ask DH to ask her to stop.

Bloody hell! What's New Zealand got that we haven't? What were their covid statistics..... a fucking lot better than ours!!

This wouldn’t bother me. Just give the baby a quick clean afterwards

I'm not seeing anything particularly entitled about this, just an aunt loving her DN. if you don't like it, say something. But I don't think you need to turn this into a big deal.

Could you make use of a sling so there is less access to your baby from other people?

If you're not comfortable then definitely raise it, you'll kick yourself for not speaking up if your baby gets I'll

• Ill

Good god mn is chock full of people hating their families for doing perfectly normal things. 'SIL, who lives on the other side of the world and is rarely seen, will spend one week with us and keeps kissing my baby.' So fucking what.

Considering this is from August, I think OP has this well covered by now. Why resurrect a month old thread.