To think my ex should pay maintenance even whe we're on holiday?

[PiggyInTheMiddleagain]

Currently on a very nice fortnight's holiday in a lovely resort in Europe. Saved for over a few years but obviously not cheap (relevant I promise, not a stealth boast!)

ExH pays maintenance weekly as he is paid weekly. He has not paid for the last two weeks. I sent him a quick message to let him know in case it was a bank issue, and he said he's stopping the payments as I clearly don't need the money if I can afford such an expensive holiday. Says he and "his family" (he doesn't include DD in that) can only afford camping so why should he fund our fun.

I've tried pointing out that the pittance he pays goes direct to OUR DD, that she's saving for driving lessons and university, but he doesn't think he should have to pay for those either as she's nearly an adult.

He only has a few more weeks to pay as she's nearly 18.

AIBU to think he should still pay?

YANBU - he should make his payments as per the CMS agreement

YABU - he's done his bit.

Of course he should pay, the fact that you are on holiday is totally irrelevant. Point out the fact that if he doesn’t pay he will be accruing a debt that will need to be paid at some point. What a dick!

YANBU - so what if you went on holiday? Does his DD not deserve a holiday?

Clearly he should pay, but I imagine the chances of getting the money out of him are very remote.

On the plus side only a few more weeks until you won't have to have anything else to do with him!

At 18. Let your DD sort it out its her dad.

YANBU. Of course he should pay. He’s also being a dick by not including his DD in “his family”.

Yanbu and of course he should pay but with only a few weeks left I don't see that it's worth the stress of arguing or trying to enforce. Good thing is your dd is old enough to see what's going on

The money he pays is surely supposed to help fund her food, pay towards a roof over her head and heating and lighting costs. Those have to be paid 52 weeks a year so of course he should pay

What a wanker! I'm sure your DD realises this! Enjoy your holiday and don't let it ruin your special trip

YANBU. When we have my DSD for weeks at a time in school holidays my DH still pays maintenance. Why would he not? It goes to so much more than just food etc so should make no difference if she is with us or not.
I doubt you'll get the money from him though. But at least in a few weeks you won't have to deal with him anymore

These pathetic excuses for fathers really do not realise that this kind of behaviour will come back and bite them on the arse. Their children remember this shit and he will damage any respect they have for him.

Honestly op it felt just great when mine turned 18 and I didn't face to deal with that crap anymore.

Mine once didn't pay as he was getting married and would be skint for his honeymoon lol.

Sounds like your ex is absolutely squirming with jealousy at your holiday instead of being glad his child gets to have these lovely memories and experience.

He's a tossed

*tosser

Ridiculous. Can you go to CMS and do collect and pay? You get less though.

Years back if DD went on holiday with him, I used to transfer his maintenance back to him. He stopped having her for more than a night when his girlfriend had their first, and hasn't taken her on holiday since then either as he says they can't fit her in the car.

It takes a special kind of oxygen thief to endanger his relationship with his DD to save a couple of hundred pounds and score off an ex. Let her draw her own conclusions.

When it was CSA, the money was taken directly from his pay as he refused to pay anything (I have always earned more than him, so he doesn't see why he should pay). Not worth bothering now. I think it's a good indication to DD about how much support she can expect from her dad when she's at university!

What does your daughter say about it? I assume you’ve told her?

So he can’t take her on holiday and can’t ‘sub’ the one you’ve taken her on?

Most parents I know give them pocket money for holidays to have fun.

Imo your dd should send him a mahoosive bloody postcard!!.
Be thankful he is an ex.
His poor dw stuck in a tent with him!

She knows exactly what he's like. Since he started another family, he has seen her maybe 4 times a year despite living 45 minutes away. His new girlfriend didn't want to be a step parent, so he made his choice.

They reap what they sow
My Dad pulled similar
I'm now an adult, he lives alone, no partner etc. Old, ill health. I have zero interest in a relationship with him.

I think maintenance is paid until the child finishes A levels- the same as tax credits/UC and child benefit. So my son is 18 in October but maintenance won’t stop until end of August 2023.

When does your daughter turn 18? Maintenance usually stops at the end of the academic year in which the child turns 18, so if she's only just going into Upper Sixth and turns 18 in September then you'd probably be entitled to another year of maintenance.

If she turns 18 in August then he's only withholding one payment and personally I wouldn't think it was worth the hassle of trying to claim it - I'd try to affect studied nonchalance and not give him a reaction.

Hasn't paid last two weeks, should pay until end of August so more than 1 payment (weekly paid) but you are right it isn't worth the hassle. She's 18 right at the end of the month.

Surely his payments to provide his part in his child's upbringing are calculated per annum, divided into 52 as he must have requested it be paid in that way?

Is he one of these characters who would deduct a part of the payment when children are in school because they are not physically in your home? How tiresome. You're in the right, but let a lawyer or agency deal with this so it doesn't spoil any more of life. What he can afford to do is nothing to do with your financial arrangements. It's a green cheese situation, sounds petty AF. Enjoy your holiday!

Until 25 if in full time education in Scotland.

YANBU. Presumably you don’t get a holiday from paying your rent/mortgage and utilities for the house that your joint DD lives in. What a jealous spiteful little man.