My DH was very homesick when we first moved abroad. He was diagnosed with sky high anxiety and moderate depression. He has taken antidepressants for several years, as well as making an effort to join activities, make friends etc, and his mood has been better and stable for quite a while.
Recently, he has stopped taking his antidepressants several times. He just doesn't like taking them any more and feels ready to stop. He is on a dose that means that this should be done in a tapered way under supervision from the GP. After a few weeks, we can always tell. Each time I "catch" him, we argue and he unwillingly takes the tablets again. I have said over and over that I would be happy to go to gp with him to get a plan for coming off the medication.
This weekend it has happened again. He is grumpy and short tempered and we are all suffering. Yesterday evening, he tried to argue that he wasn't being grumpy and the kids made a game out of listing ALL the things he constantly moans about. Even he found it funny in the end...but it was funny because their impressions were so true 😕
I have realised that there is no point arguing. He just isn't prepared to take the tablets any more. His mood is ok, I don't worry about his safety or anything like I did just before he got treatment. But it is still hard work to live with: he has become a short tempered, grumpy old man in his 40s.
My DM had undiagnosed depression. It was miserable at times. I have always promised myself that I wouldn't put my kids through that. I thought we had an agreement that it was ok to get ill as long as you get treatment. I am unsure whether to tolerate this treatment refusal now or treat it as a red line? Now we're here, it doesn't seem like a big enough deal to end a twenty year marriage over...but it makes so many of the actual days we spend together as a family just a bit crap....??