14 year old DS like a giant toddler!!!

[Europeangirl2022]

My lovely 14.5 year old DS hasn’t gone through puberty yet (he’s seeing an endocrinologist next month to investigate as he’s still only 5.1 although he has finally got a tiny bit of underarm hair coming so hoping it’s starting 🤞🏻) - he’s still very immature though and kind of at an in between phase where he doesn’t feel he fits in anywhere - his mates have gone through puberty so seem older and yet obviously he doesn’t want to hang out with younger kids. It’s really tricky.

But it is a bit like having a giant toddler at times bless him- he has melt downs quite a lot and it’s hard to reason with him!! I think he’s experiencing older emotions that he can’t handle. He’s got no self confidence as he’s still so small.

anyone else had a child with delayed puberty? It’s so tricky!

But it is a bit like having a giant toddler at times bless him- he has melt downs quite a lot and it’s hard to reason with him!! I think he’s experiencing older emotions that he can’t handle. He’s got no self confidence

That pretty much describes life with a typical teenager aged 14.

They all worry about their appearance/size/development, feel socially insecure and can't handle their emotions.

My DS is exactly the same, in fact one of my most used phrases with him is 'it's like dealing with a toddler!'.

I wouldn't say at 14.5 it's 'delayed' puberty though - my husband went through puberty at 15 and I think the range is quite wide for boys isn't it?

The underarm hair is a good sign - my DS has just started with a few hairs too.

He's desperate to get taller though, is the 'smallest in his year' (allegedly - though I don't think he is) and he can't wait to go through puberty. His is also VERY immature at home, though pretty mature at school according to his teachers!

@Wargghhhh it’s reassuring that he’s not alone - he also describes himself as the smallest kid in the entire year! He does still look the same as when he was 11 though to be honest & has barely grown in that time! I REALLY hope it happens soon!’

I was like that (male) IIRC when I took my GCSEs I was 5'4", a school reunion two years later I couldn't believe how much everyone had shrunk. I topped out at about 6' around about 20. I was a very late developer!

Mine is 13.5 but could pass for 10/11. Mentally he is quite mature, but looking at him standing next to his mates , its quite shocking, they are all about a foot taller or more and look about 16 . He is desperate for some sort of growth ....no hair or height so far. Was hoping this summer might be his year .....Still waiting 🙏

@Daftasabroom also reassuring thanks! He cries about it most days (hence the endocrinologist referral) as he just feels like an outlier!

I work in a secondary school and there really is a lot of variation, in terms of both physical and emotional maturity, in your DS's year group. The meltdowns you describe are not uncommon. Teenagers will often experience quite extreme moodswings, and this in itself can be an indicator that puberty is imminent. IME it's also very common for boys who are late developers to struggle a bit emotionally and with their confidence. It's good that you're getting him checked out from an endocrinology pov, but he's definitely not alone.

@bert3400 its hard for them isn’t it! DS’s mates have hairy legs and are all massive too- he hates it!

Teenagers are basically giant toddlers with more money, bigger vocabulary. Honestly read some books on teenage boys like Masterwinds and Wingmen.
Teenagerdom is hard - for them and for you.

I also have a very small 13.5 yo who shows no sign of puberty. He is smallest boy in year - and not helped that he is almost the youngest too. I am keeping 🤞 and wonder about asking Dr, but am going to hang on until he's 14. I think.

All the boys in my son’s year who hit puberty late grew really tall! One was about 5 ft 4 ins at prom (so aged. 16) - he’s about 6ft 4ins now!! He didn’t start really growing until he was about to leave college though, so must have been 18.

My son was exactly the same. Late developer, quite childish, small and very tubby at 14. He is 19 now. He towers above me, he's really fit, lost all his chubby bits. He's matured lovely has a fantastic job and has grown up in to a lovely young man.
Try not to worry give him time lots of kids are late developers. He'll get there. I think they don't stop growing until they are 21 if I remember right

DBIL was tiny (smallest in his tutor group) at 14. He’s now 6’6”. He grew four inches in three months and ended up with stretch marks.

14.5 isn’t delayed puberty. I think for boys up to 16 is considered within normal range.

My twins were 15 before it happened to them. At 14 they looked like 11 year olds! And they were both incredibly immature.

Now at 16 they look and act their age (unfortunately) 😂

Thanks everyone- it’s really super reassuring!

My son is 14, he's had genital public hair for 12-18 months (he was excited jokingly to tell me as he thought it was never going to happen) - his voice has broken - he's now taller than me & yet, he's only just getting under arm hair ... it wasn't that long ago he was also upset that everyone was taller than him and had moustaches. I just kept reassuring him that everyone grows at different rates & all of them are okay.

How tall are you and Dad too? That's probably going to make difference.

This thread is more then one year old.

Well a year on and my 14.5DS is no longer a boy, his voice has broken, he's grown loads and also lost a lot of weight. His confidence is through the roof. I have a very happy teenager