To feel down about this?

[MovieQueen12]

2 people who utterly screwed me over by using me, lying, withholding money and talking badly about me when all I did was be an amazing friend to them.
One is happily married and has been for 15 years, has 2 clever and successful kids, very rich and always on holiday, lots of friends and family ad well as a fun job where she is idolised.
The other, is adored by her partner who sees her as a poor victim (she was cheated on by her ex husband but cheated twice before herself so no sympathy), earns six figures but can work from home and have a lot of time off. Always on holidays and events nearly every weekend with many friends and family who all adore her. Good health despite drinking and being on drugs a lot of their lives.
Then there's me. Work but have 2 chronic health conditions, single, unattractive, not much family and one I do have, a lot of issues and not many friends I can rely on. Always get used and ghosted despite being described as a kind and loving person.
Aibu to say that the more selfish you are the better your life is?

I think yabu and feeling a bit sorry for yourself.

To me, it sounds like you are someone with poor boundaries. Why be "an amazing friend" to people who use and talk badly about you behind your back? The connection isn't that selfish people are happier, it's that people who don't allow themselves to be walked over are happier.

Yes I don't think having a nice life means you're selfish but I can understand you are feeling a bit rubbish 💐

Why are you even aware of these people's lifestyles and salaries and how well thought-of they are at work if they screwed you over? Why are you obsessing over two people who, I assume, are no longer in your life?

Your post comes across as very bitter and self-pitying and regardless of what these people did to you, I don't think prolonging the drama is doing you any favours. Being eaten up by envy is not a good state to be in and I think perhaps you might need some professional help to move on.

not much family and one I do have, a lot of issues and not many friends I can rely on. Always get used and ghosted

The common thread here is you, though.

Aibu to say that the more selfish you are the better your life is?

Yes, of course YABU. Being lucky doesn't have anything to do with being selfish and neither does having successful relationships. Again - you really sound quite bitter here and it's doing you no favours. It's not unreasonable at all to feel down about your situation or your bad luck, but it is absolutely unreasonable (and not an attractive trait to be around) to suggest that if someone has a better life than you they must be selfish.

They may appear to have a great life on the surface, but if they have been that horrible, I'm sure that they don't feel particularly great about themselves either or actually have these amazing lives.

Most people prioritise themselves and their needs above all else, I am beginning to learn. I think you need to do the same and lower your expectations of others. As MJ says on Spiderman, if you expect disappointment you’ll never be disappointed. I thought this was really sad and it is a bit extreme perhaps but I am trying to learn to readjust my view of others who don’t treat me the way I treat them. My dh said the other day, “if you behaved like that it would be terrible because it’s not in your nature, but maybe that is all she is capable of”. It really made me stop and think about unfair expectations I’ve had on people. You either accept a person for what they are capable of giving you, or not and that’s your choice.
Also I imagine your viewpoint has been based on social media which we all know is a mere snapshot of what is happening in their lives. Try not to let it upset you.

No, that’s not I see things. Can you try and work out what wrong in these two cases to make sense of them?

Through both experiences I have learnt to toughen up and to realise when I am being used so I have learnt from it.
It just feels really hard seeing how great they both have it. I was very close to both of them which is why I know about their lives but I did make the mistake of checking on them on Facebook which was really stupid of me because its made me feel really bad.
I'm not saying anyone with a great life is selfish. I'm saying that there are people out there who cause harm to others but see no wrong in how they behave and all seem to have the best in life despite their selfish and hurtful behaviour. It's just depressing to see

You will never be happy if you compare your life to others. How do you know all this about your old friends? If it’s through social media delete them/stop checking, and everyone knows social media is not a true reflection on someone’s happiness.