Beyond worried

[missrosex]

I'll try to keep as short as possible, I have been going on to HV, GP etc about my sons eating for about a year and I feel so unheard. My son is 2.8years old and I couldn't name you a handful of foods he eats. From 12 months old he rejected the spoon and all liquid form foods. Witch limited what we could give him but fine he was still eating finger foods etc. As the months went on his appetite became smaller and smaller, spitting foods out, gagging, putting his fingers in his mouth and now today there is not one food I can't tell you I'm certain he will eat. We have tired everything we offer him so many different things, he may have one good day and then weeks of eating next to nothing. Go back a year ago he was on the 70th percentile for his weight and today he is on the 10th percentile. My son is Gradually falling off the weight chart and I don't know what else to do. I'm sick of hearing kids will be kids or he will eat when he is hungry because we are now 3 days in the eating literally next to nothing. He has so much thirst and will drink and drink all day long but not eat. I have tried limiting the drink in hope he eats more but it doesn't work, he has no interest in food. I've had all the leaflets with advice and things to try nothing works. Please anyone help, I feel like if this continues for much longer my little boy will fade away as a mum all I want is a healthy child.

He will touch it etc but will hardly ever put it in his mouth and if he does he pulls it back out the majority of the time, most of the time if you show him food he will say no.

Have you done his allergy tests? We had this and turns out she was intolerant to wheat and dairy. Once we sorted that it was a massive change!

Just had a thought. A reward jar or sticker chart might motivate your little one to eat more or at least try some new foods. Also, if it is a sensory processing thing then don't mix his food up e.g. nothing in sauce. Deconstruct meals and give him the components separately.

Another vote for diabetes as my husband and sister in law have it and this sounds quite similar.
Could he have Autism? Any other signs? Food aversion, sensitive to textures. How is his speech, eye contact, communication, any other sensory issues, does he respond well to his name?
This must be such a worry for you I’m sorry you aren’t getting the support you need from the hv and gp.

This is a great idea. I had a boy in my class who wouldn’t eat at all. We provided him with a tray containing different things eg. Crushed biscuits, cereal, grated cheese. Not for eating they were for sensory play. By the time he left my class he was eating a very limited but few foods.

Just had a thought. A reward jar or sticker chart might motivate your little one to eat more or at least try some new foods.

fyi if your child has ARFID this is a terrible idea.

@Macaroni1924 That's brilliant, sensory play is really important, particularly for children with ASD. Let your son explore food OP, without the pressure to eat any of it. Make him jelly or porridge and let him squish it in his hands. Don't stress if he doesn't try anything, just offer something else at the next meal time.

@Stickworm Why would that be?

because ARFID is literally a phobia of eating, it would be like trying to reward someone with anorexia for eating. It’s not understanding it’s a mental health condition and not a choice.

Could you afford to see someone privatelu? Paediatrician or a private dietician/speech therapist/occupational therapist? The later might seem strange, but some speech/occupational therapists specialise in feeding issues and doing feeding therapy, which involves encouraging children to interact with food in a fun way and eating through play and sensory interactions with food.

A food diary for the paediatrician is a good idea, doctors often react better to seeing the recorded details rather then a parent saying he never eats. If you do this be very specific, ie. Single bite of 1 nugget, 200ml of smoothie made with milk, banana and cream.

Thank you Stickworm, I see why that would be a problem. However, there's no evidence at the moment arfid is the root cause of this behaviour and I see no harm in a bit of encouragement at this stage.

I second keeping a detailed food diary. Record everything that passes his lips in a 24 hour period. Take this with you to every appointment and make sure somebody reads it.

Perhaps you could also weigh your son (no more than once a month) and plot it on the graph in his red book to illustrate how much it's dropping. Do not be fobbed off, this is not just 'fussy eating'.

Definitely take to the doctors for tests and try and get extra calories hidden in the smoothies

@Stickworm just came across ARFID recently. My dd sent me a link to a documentary and just said watch this. It explained my dd perfectly and all we'd gone through with her for years trying to get her to eat. Once she did find foods that suited her and thankfully was always healthy we never pushed her re food. She's 25 now and this documentary explained so much.

Does he suffer from constipation? My ds ate only beans and cheese for literally 5 years. It was so stressful. He has a sensory disorder which I didn't know until he was 6. Textures were a huge problem even now he has a very bland diet but is 18 and 6 foot!!. Doctors were useless but I was prescribed constipation medication which I think helped him overall. See if you can sneak milled linseed other seeds into smoothies and protein shakes. Also some vitamin drops into drinks.

@Vincitveritas absolutely 🙏🏻 which is why I said IF it’s ARFID. My daughter is suspected ARFID (mostly been robbed off by GP as she’s not underweight) and she is incredibly anxious around food. It’s painful looking at the pictures of her first year of school when they were trying ‘world foods’ - she looks so pained and sad (she also hates disappointing people so went through with it).

@Hardtofindafreename could I ask the documentary? I’d be interested to watch. I hope your DD is going ok now ❤️

Has a doctor actually fully examined him? Has he got large tonsils?

@Stickworm this is the link, hope it works. She's still anxious of eating and especially when with new people but she is confident enough now to handle it and the "helpful" comments people make. Thankfully she does have enough of a good variety of foods that she is a healthy weight, very rarely sick and plenty of energy.

I've been through similar with my 3. 1 has afrid, 1 has asd and the other was just a fussy eater and outgrew it. The best advice I can give is serve meals you know he will eat. Add something extra he might not eat but no pressure. Leave plate out after meal has finished as he may go back. Try to sneak extra food in through smoothies, yoghurts with added fruit, gravy, sauce etc. give vitamins if he will take them. Snacks too. No pressure to eat just there if he wants.

@Stickworm Sorry to hear about your daughter, that must be very stressful and it's so frustrating when doctors don't listen. I hope you find some solutions.

I would check for diabetes. Weight loss and thirst are a symptom. Does mention extreme hunger, but worth checking anyway.

www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/type-1-diabetes-in-children/symptoms-causes/syc-20355306

Hi this is the NHS NICE guidelines for failure to thrive

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng75/chapter/recommendations

Hope this is helpful x

You need paeds, dietitian, assessment for ARFID, bloods, and I’d also think a discussion about whether there are any indicators for neuro diversity.

Given you’re already under paeds, you needs to ring the secretary and tell them he’s gone from the 70th centile to below the 10th in a year and needs intervention urgently.

If you get nowhere, go to PALS.

Every one else has covered the pushing for other tests very well.

As a short term measure, given his low weight, it it worth taking a step back to stage one weaning. The jars or pouches particularly are smooth to a degree you can't replicate at home. It's not ideal but it's calories and a variety of taste at least.
If it's not physical then may help rebuild confidence with food.

Interesting someone flagged adenoids and tonsils. My son wouldn't move up the weaning stages and at 18 months he still wanted very smooth, rejected any form of lump other than a banana.
He did have massive adenoids and had them out at three but I never really made the connection as he outgrew his rejection of anything you had to chew eventually (he's now nine and eats anything he can see!)

Ring up and say you need an earlier appointment. X

I have a DC who was 1lb over the threshold for clinically underweight. Now slim but healthy.

It transpired to be autism. He's hyposensitive to taste and still eats very little.

What worked for us:

-very high Cal foods- eg croissants for breakfast

• oily fish

-full fat dairy- blue milk, double cream in pasta sauces, full fat cheddar cheese, cream cheese etc.

• chicken legs with skin not breasts and no beige/UHP foods

-peanut butter/ Nutella

-seeded bread/ naan bread for pizzas

• use a lot of oil/ butter in recipes

-deep fry food

-creamy soups

• hot chocolate

-bake rather than boil veg

-use a lot of cheese in macaroni/ lasagne

-add a sprinkle of parmesan to as many dishes as possible

-Dip chips in mayo rather than ketchup

-extra egg yolks in recipes eg cakes/ omelettes

• add nuts to recipes

But you do need more medical input to find out the real cause. An asd diagnosis could take years!