...to cook fish in my own home?

[cheesypeas]

...to cook fish in my own home? This may sound trivial, but it is causing huge friction at home.

DH hates the smell of it, and complains even if I've cooked it when he's out of the house. This issue has become larger in the past year since we have not been going through a tough patch, and seems to me to be an excuse for him to vent. In the past it was not a problem, he does not usually eat fish, which is fine and I respect his personal choice not to eat what he wants.

Sorry if this seems a petty request for validation, as to me it seems like a weird question, but DH feels so strongly that IABU about this I am starting to doubt myself.

yanbu

yanbu

YANBU

But I remember my mum cooking kippers for breakfast and

YANBU. How offended can someone be by the smell of fish, unless there are other issues. When he complains again say "Ok I will never cook fish again in my own home" and see how he responds. Obviously you are going to cook fish if you want to but maybe will make him think about whether the result he wants from his complaining is for his DW never to feel comfortable cooking the food she wants to in her own home again. Hopefully it wont be.

dh likes this bengali speciality which consists of dried fish being cooked. trust me, if you think fish smells, then you should stay far far away from this. i dont even mean next door, but a few houses down, sorry, upwind.
dh once brought somehome from his moms and heated it in the microwave. took me days and days to get rid of the stench. he hastn done it again.
so, yes, i think you should refrain from cooking something your partner dislikes so much

Do you use an extractor fan? Have windows open?

If you're trying everything to get rid of the smell, I don't really see what else can be done.

Hopefully someone will have some good "hiding" smell tips

Thanks for your comments all. Good to get different views too. On a practical level I do have scented candles burning, windows open/extractor fan on, so have tried minimising any smell as much as I can.

I'm still reluctant to stop cooking fish completely, which may be selfish, but he has not complained about this in the previous 12 year's we've been together. However, I'll try talking to him (he's out tonight) to see how he responds to Viggoswife's suggestion whether the result he wants is for me not to feel comfortable cooking the food I want to in our own home again. I think this may help him to see the issue from my perspective.

YANBU

YANBU but you could light a joss stick.

You could try using this: papier d'Armenie it's very good at removing smells including fish cooking smells. I use it myself and it really works. I don't know where you'd find it in the UK though, you'd have to contact them to see if they have a distributor or get someone to send you some from France.

And, by the way, no, YANBU!

or could just light a match, works for bathroom aromas

ergh, it stinks! (but yuk)

but yes an excuse to vent.

wouldn't recommend the "oh, so you don't want me to feel comfortable cooking the food I want to in our own home .." method as that is spoiling for a fight!

YAB a bit U -I hate the smell of fish too and won't cook fish in my house for that reason.

I am surprised at the responses on here that say that OP is being unreasonable to cook fish in her own home. She likes it and wants to eat it. Do you suggest that she stops cooking and eating a whole (healthy) food group because DH does not like the smell? Where would it end? Sounds to me like he would just find something else to moan about.

My suggestion that she agrees to stop cooking the fish was not to spoil for a fight but to indicate to him whether this is something he actually wants to achieve ie browbeating his DW into not doing something as harmless as eating fish in her OWN home because of his whinging. I am sure that he probably has habits much less appealing than the cooking/eating of fish, which OP has to live with. He is a man after all .

well, if someone was making a smell I find really revolting in my house I would have a problem with it

do you not want to make life pleasant for him? it doesn't seem like a huge deal

i wonder if this is as much about you being narked with him as vice versa

Can you cook the fish on the BBQ??????? That's what my DH does when he fancies fish.

Imo this isn't quite as simple as one person being able to cook whatever she wants despite the fact her dh hates the smell. How many of you would be happy to let your partner smoke in your house if you didn't smoke? I know there's no way on this earth any partner of mine would ever be allowed to smoke in my house, so if he insisted on it I think it would cause major friction between us.

I love fish and would be very sad if dh didn't want me to cook it, but if he really hated the smell as much as I hate the smell of cigarette smoke, then i think that this would need to be taken into consideration.

My DH hates the smell of fish but it is tough luck! My LO and me love it so we will eat it. Plus it is good for you.
I do all the cooking and cleaning so wahts the problem?

I don't cook fish for myself at home any more, but that's because DH is anaphylactically allergic and started to react many years ago when I was steaming some.

However, I do keep some fishy ready meals in the freezer just in case I need the life insurance to have at work and eat fish when I go out for a meal without him.

I cannot bear the smell of fish, so would be really upset if DH cooked fish that smells. I'm OK with prawns, and low-smell fish cooked in the oven, but am paranoid about clearing up afterwards. I do enjoy fish in restaurants.

I dont know if YABU with what else is going on, but I think it would BU of my DH to cook fish when I'm at home (fortunately he hates fish!)

I begged DH never to cook lamb in our house because I cannot bear the smell. It makes me gag violently, and on occasion I have been physically sick at the smell. Sometimes my mum cooks lamb, and days later I can walk into her house and be retching in the bathroom within seconds at the lingering smell. Because of my strong reaction to the smell of lamb, my husband has kindly agreed not to cook it at home (he orders it in restaurants a lot, which is fine - at least it's just a whiff then, and not filling my whole house with the aroma...). YAN(necessarily)BU, but maybe you could take his feelings into account and cook it when he's out or something?