Wedding woes

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I got married last Thursday and I don't know where to start. Our wedding venue was incredible. We payed a lot as the venue was stunning. On the wedding day our wedding coordinator was not available. We had not been told she wouldn't be there but were left with a young lady who had been in the coordinator role for just under a year. She didn't know us or what we had envisioned on the day. We were rushed from pillar to post by several different waitresses telling us we needed to be here and there in minutes. No 15/20 notice so we could get our guests ready. One of our vendors didn't turn up on the day so me and the groom were left to chase him when we were told by our coordinator she would be the one to do this for us. Our wedding toast was done at dessert and not after speeches like we'd wanted. We had toys for the children that were left in a store cupboard by staff not put on the children's table like asked. There were ants all over the sweet carts and inside our families rooms. The evening food was only out for an hour and then taken away. The postbox with our gifts and cards was opened at the end of the night and cards were left on the table with out me and the groom
Being told. The staff made us feel like a burden on the day. Sighing when asking them for help ect. When I raised issues with the lady who was supposed to be in charge she was extremely rude to me and asked me
"What did you expect from us" Just really disappointed. AIBU to ask my wedding coordinator if this is how weddings usually are at the venue?

I’d write to the company and set everything you said here in writing. Including the fact that the wedding coordinator role is supposed to co-ordinate things (so that you don’t have to) and by the sound of it she didn’t coordinate the suppliers, the guests or the food. Opening your cards at the end is very odd. Have you checked that any money didn’t go missing?

The consumer Act is clear that any services carried out have to be done with reasonable skill and care. food that is covered with ants or not available would fall under the goods section of the consumer act.

list things, with a clear gap underneath each issue. At the end pit the put the resolutionn you want. So for example:

1. evening buffet only out for an hour - how much was eaten - ask a relative. If only half, ask for half the cost back.
2. mask for most of the sweet card to be refunded. Add a photo is you have one.
3. If you paid separately for the wedding coordinator, ask for a significant amount off. Etc.

the consumer act is very specific

Oh and make sure your spelling and grammar is checked before sending it. It’s paid - not payed for example. They won’t take you seriously if it’s not written to a high standard.

if you don’t get anywhere, just take them to small claims court.

And lastly, don’t dwell on it, your guests probably had a fab time and you got married! Look back and try and remember the positive bits, the venue etc.

As I understood it, a wedding coordibator is there to organise all the things the venue are providing. They are not a wedding planner.
Had you been promised that the toys would be laid out by staff?
What time was the gift box opened? - presumably they had to put it away at the end of the evening.
Having the evening food out for an hour doesn't sound unreasonable?

We were promised by staff that everything we had taken with us would be put out by staff even after we tried to do it ourselves they said they would do it. We paid £40 pp for the evening food and it was taken away swiftly with half of the food going with it. Our postbox was emptied at the end of the evening but a member of staff was supposed to give us the key to take the cards out. X

Thank you so much for your lovely advice xx

I feel your pain. I would do as advised by PP - you deserve an apology +/- a refund for the evening buffet that was taken away (do you have any photos of what the buffet looked like before it was removed just to help back up your claim)?

I remember when I got married years ago, I had a “family friend” create my wedding cake for free (in return for him coming to my wedding as he knew my DH) and he was apparently this amazing baker. I sent him photos of what cake I would like (he said he could design anything I wanted for free) and it was a pretty basic 3 tier white iced square cake (I think) and when I saw it on the morning of the wedding, my 3 year old could’ve done better. The icing was all cracked and wonky and, inside, the batter was all cloy-y and it was basically raw. It was inedible and my family were upset (not as much as me!) as we trusted this guy who offered this service to us.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.. It sounds like there was a lack of communication between the coordinator and assistant. The evening food out for an hour seems more than enough though, I wouldn't like to eat food left out any longer, it wouldn't be appetising to me.. But everything else isn't great - the sweet cart should have been taken away. Toys were probably forgotten about (it might not have been a usual thing), the toast I'd try and let go, no one will have noticed xx to be honest for me, the rushing sounds the worst and the exact opposite of what you'd imagine you'd have where there's literally someone there employed to manage!!

With regards to the food - I remember when I got maried. We had our final meeting with venue about 6 weeks before the wedding. The co-ordinator told us that the evening buffet would only be out for 90 minutes. I was genuinely surprised and asked why (I've been to buffets that have been out all night before). She explained that it was was to do with the type of food, and their own H&S food standards - warm room/food away from fridge/bacteria etc. I was a little disappointed, but it made sense to me when it was explained. It also turned out that it was more than enough time for people to eat what they want.
I'd imagine your venue had a similar policy (seems standard now), however this should have been communicated to you beforehand.

The rest seems odd - especially, the post box thing. Even if they had to move it to put it away, they should have given you (or a guest you trust) the opportunity to have taken the cards first.

Oh that sounds shit OP, definitely ask for a meeting with the 'real' coordinator and go through it with her in person.

The only thing I'd say is legit is the buffet, same thing happened at my friend's big birthday party last year and it's due to H&S and it sitting out in a warm room for too long. When pressed they did give us an extra ten minutes though, so people who wanted to could go get a plateful.

Thank you so much. I didn't even think about the logical health and safety with food. I think because so many things were going wrong in the day it just all adds up and little things that wouldn't usually bother you end up bugging you. If it would have been a few issues it would have been absolutely fine and we would have dealt with them because it was a lot of things I think it spoilt our idea of how we wanted our day to go xx