Don’t really like friend - not sure what to do

[SareWall]

I have a ‘friend’ who I met through work several years ago. Since we have both left work to pursue different avenues a year or so ago it seems we have less in common.

The last few times we have met up I have really not enjoyed her company. She talks endlessly about herself and her children and bores me with endless pictures of places she’s visited. She doesn’t seem particularly interested in me or my life.

She’s messaged me to meet up, but I don’t want to see her. It’s not really in my nature to ignore people- I find that rude, but I don’t know how to tell her I don’t want to see her anymore. What should I do?

Say you're busy at the moment and will have to give it a rain check until things calm down.

Awkward one 😬 if you cannot be absolutely straight about not wanting to see her again then personally I’d say let it fizzle out .. I have done so in the past.. don’t ignore her but take a couple days to respond … be vague and polite … excuses when she asks to meet etc … she will soon get bored and lay off

“Bit busy at the moment, sorry! Hope all good with you though.”

"It's kind of you to contact me for a meet up. The last few times we've met I come to realise that our lives are moving in different directions so I'm not sure we have much in common to talk about these days. I wish you and yours all the best.."

I think this, if you're keen to avoid confrontation

nobody would do this.

simply be busy and say catch up soon

Perfect. Means you are not committed to anything and still polite.

This is the worst response imaginable.

The true English way is to be apologetically “busy” several times in a row and slowly fade out of their lives.

I agree with it. Nothing good will come from telling them what your personality doesn’t enjoy about their personality.

Say you're too busy to meet up.
Next time she contacts you make a date a few weeks away if she insists but just make it for a quick coffee, 45 minutes.
Do this a few times and the friendship will die a natural death

Make your excuses, and don't rearrange. Rinse and repeat.

Imagine you're in the other side of it, with a similarly (un)close friend you're still content enough to see occasionally, but she thinks the two of you have grown apart and no longer has the time tor interest to keep in touch. How would you want her to handle it? Do that.

I would say you can't make it a few times. She will probably stop asking then.

Just say "I hope you're well, sorry but I'm really busy and will get in touch later in the year." Repeat if needed.

She is not your friend she is an ex colleague and you owe no excuses. Sorry, busy at the moment is a fine response and leave it at that.

Thanks everyone- good idea to be polite and too busy. There’s no point in being honest in these situations is there.

No, honesty is overrated and embarrassing, well, according to this thread it is. Much better to be just rude.