Shit day

[fedupfrazzled]

Ds10 has been on screens for 7 hours solid. We went to the park this morning, after that it's been PlayStation all day. The baby has done nothing but cry. I have cried. Dh been out all day then comes home in a foul mood because of work stress and we end of up playing misery tennis. Now we aren't talking at all.

I feel so so shit. My baby is 4 months old and I love her dearly but my god she drains the life out of me and I feel like such a shit mum to my ds. The holidays have been crap so far, we've done nothing. I hate days like this but I just haven't been able to find the energy to get us all out of the house again. I'm lonely, sad, stressed and I have a banging headache.

Handhold please.

4 months old is hard. Can you confiscate the PlayStation?

@Ontomatopea I could but then what would he do? I don't usually allow it for that length of time but I haven't had the energy to encourage him to do anything else today. He's a good kid and it's not his fault I feel like this so I don't want to remove something he enjoys especially when it's keeping him busy.

You could get him one of those wreck this journals?

It’s hard in the holidays don’t beat yourself up. My daughter was at home today while I worked, had far too much screen time and tomorrow will be the same. Needs must. We can’t afford childcare this summer. We’ll make up for it at the weekend. Be kind to yourself

A day of PlayStation every so often for your 10 yo is not the end of the world. With a 4 mo you do what you have to do to get through the day. You got out to the park this morning - well done for that! I find that if I make it out we either stay or accept that once we are back in that's it! Tomorrow is another day, try not to beat yourself up over today

Nothing wrong with a day on the PS every now and then. It’s only bad if it’s 7hrs most days. Besides, he did his exercise in the park this morning so all is good health wise. So you’re not a “shit mum” because you’re not taking the DCs out on educational field trips every day of the summer holidays. It’s actually good to let the DC learn how to entertain themselves.

Two DC is a lot more work than one, so you’re just realising that fact now. So it’s not really your 4 mo that’s exhausting you, it’s the jump from one DC to two DC. It’s early days so be kind to yourself. If you want to stay in, stay in.

Tomorrow morning browse through stuff to do in your community and pencil in days to go with your DS. Like my local museum is doing a crazy Lego building thing this weekend. There’s also summer fairs going on all over the place. Start planning in days out, things to do and build in lazy days at the house as well. It will give you something to look forward to.

This is good advice.

It really is very hard, please don't be so hard on yourself.

Just wanted to drop you some solidarity and let you know my day has been shit to and for similar reason (Mum guilt). My DD2 has a chest infection she's only 15 months and been so poorly with it and has now passed her bug onto the rest of the house. I've felt so unwell and tired today but just had to keep going the whole time my 4 year old telling me how bored she is and my DD2 whinging at me most of the day.
I'm praying tomorrow is a better day. These shit days can be so consuming can't they but just remember better days will come!

Handhold OP, my second DS was a very unsettled baby, it’s really tough, I remember how I felt. Don’t take the PS off your DS, that won’t help the situation at all, it will create more stress and battles. Do you have anyone in RL that can give you a hand. My late MIL was an absolute angel when my DS’ were little, so helped us so much. Good luck, it will get easier.

Go easy on yourself OP .

I have a DS10 and DD 18 months and DS has definitely spent long periods of time on screens particularly in the holidays. Actually, it ends up being a win win in some ways as he gets bored of it and it's not "special" anymore and he is more keen to go out and do stuff! So I honestly wouldn't beat yourself up about one day.

4 months is a hard age. If baby will nap (or at least be quiet-ish while the TV is on!), can you watch some TV with DS so that at least he has some company even if it's still screen time and it gives you downtime too? DS and I have enjoyed Camp Cretaceous on Netflix - it has 20 minute episodes which are about the right amount of time to sit down for a little bit. Also Nerdle, Wordle and drawing together have all been things we've managed to do around baby over the past year or so.

Yes I don't mean this to sound patronising but sometimes even getting to the park can be a major thing when you've got a little one and not much sleep etc..

It is really tough and I agree with everyone else that a day of screen time won't hurt. I know it's really difficult but it might be easier if you can find the energy to go out for the day. Baby might be more settle on the move and seeing things and DS can have a run around. Mine are a bit older now but I find days out are often far less painful than days in.

At that age I was out on my bike or playing with other kids in the street. Can he do that?

What about board or card games or activity books or reading or colouring etc etc?

Thank you all. I really appreciate the support. I do try and get out when I can, it makes me feel loads better than being stuck in the house all day. But dd is a real crier and it gets so stressful. I just didn't have it in me today. But yeah not everyday is like this and hopefully tomorrow will be better.

I remember days like that when DD13 was little & we have them now too - the summer holidays can be a killer! Be kind to yourself OP. Parenting generally is soooo hard. The fact that you’re worried means you’re a good Mum. Can you sit down & talk to your DH about how you feel?

Oh, OP 4 months is the absolute pits! You're right in the horrors now, but it will honestly get better. Give yourself a break, you're exhausted and your DS needs downtime too, so a day of relaxing and playing PS won't harm him. Honestly, I don't remember my parents providing constant entertainment in the holidays when I was a kid, did yours? I was pretty much left to my own devices from what I can remember and I survived. I think there's so much pressure to be doing stuff every day of the holidays now, but it's not necessary or even realistic for a lot of families. Maybe try to make up with your DH before you go to bed tonight though, that way you'll have one less thing to feel negatively about and you can start fresh tomorrow. You're both tired and stressed out, so it's natural to get into "who's day was harder" sometimes, but it does you no good.

My 8yo and 4yo have been knackered grumpy beings the last 2 weeks. I've modified plans to be more low key to give them time to recover from school craziness.

He'll probably remember today with delight and awe and no long term impact.

4 months is a tough tough time, long term sleep deprivation kicking in, plus summer hols is hard!

Spoken to dh and feel much better now, I've also made a promise to myself to stop looking at social media as everyone else's fun family days out make me feel inadequate too.

Good. Hope you have a nice day tomorrow and remember that a lot of those fun family day photos will be being taken in between whining, moaning, are we there yet, arguing etc etc!