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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I should leave?

4 replies

blondesaiyan · 04/08/2022 17:43

When I met DP we were friends and the topic of "type" came along, he gave a long list of what his ideal woman would look like and personality etc.

I have nothing and I mean nothing on that list. I know people can like multiple types, but do I want to be with someone who prefers the opposite of everything I have?

Friendship turned into a relationship and we've been together almost 2 years.

Our sex life is terrible. He gets hard but never fully hard - he says he can’t get fully hard for himself either as he isn't excited for his own hand or porn. But he seemingly isn't excited for me either.

I have a mega high sex drive, he does not. That would be fine, but he had a higher sex drive with the exes who were his type. He was also fully hard with them.

When we do have sex it isn't satisfying for me though he does try.

He didn't undress me and I wasn't naked for the first year of our relationship. He would have sex with me from behind, with clothes on, in the dark. Usually only in the mornings. He said that this was because he's lazy and that's how we were already lying in bed...

I tried spicing it up by initiating it in different rooms or at different times but 90% of the time he rejected me. The rest of the time we did have sex but a large majority of it he couldn't finish or got frustrated and stopped.

He has tried making effort, tried supplements to boost blood flow and libido, but still nothing.

He isn't cheating and we get along really well, but I need to feel wanted and sexy. I need sex.

I'm not unattractive - but to put it into context, he likes skinny brunettes with the emo look. I am a girly girl, blonde. Basically he wanted corpse bride and got barbie.

He swears he finds me attractive but he just doesn't show it and sexually it doesn't work.

I can think of maybe a handful of times we've had good sex.

We are otherwise good for each other but for me sex is an issue. And it makes me wonder, how long can he be with me without getting his needs met? How long until his head turns etc.

I don't want to be with someone who's going to be looking at everyone else.

AIBU to leave?

OP posts:
SarahSissions · 04/08/2022 17:45

You have listed where you aren’t compatible, but how are you compatible? What does he love about you? Is it worth it?

iklboo · 04/08/2022 17:49

How do you know he got fully hard with his exes? Is that what he told you?

SparklingLime · 04/08/2022 17:50

Run.

MyHeartSings · 04/08/2022 18:24

If you are unhappy with your relationship you are absolutely not BU to leave. Sex is an important part of a relationship and if it isn’t working for you it is perfectly acceptable to leave.

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